[atskitty2]

I am not sure what point you're making regarding cheating waverider. I think plenty of women can manage themselves just fine while drinking. And, it's not an excuse any more than for any man.

As an added thought, I haven't recently checked laws in my area, but I believe that a man who has sex with a drunk woman has raped her, as she cannot consent if intoxicated. Anyone know current laws on that?

[WaveRider]

Good Morning, atskitty2,

I'd go with rape laws being standard in western countries. A drunk woman is perfectly capable of giving consent. Were she unresponsive drunk, then it could be rape. In CA, Penal Code Section 261. (a) (3) is controlling:

"Where a person is prevented from resisting by any intoxicating or anesthetic substance, or any controlled substance, and this condition was known, or reasonably should have been known by the accused."

A crime is committed only if act meets intent. If a drunk woman gives consent to have sex the awakes hours later and regrets her consent while she drunk, rape did not occur. A bad decision on her part might have occurred, but no crime occurred.

It would be a twisted man who'd want to have sex with an unconscious woman. And it could be a refutable presumption that rape occurred. It will turn on the facts at the time an alleged rape occurred.

It's a more twisted woman who alleges rape where rape did not occur.

Feminists undermine legitimate concerns of women with reckless misandry. Feminists want to redefine laws to comport to their agendas. A plastered woman who agrees to sex has not been raped.

One of the ecumenical effects of voluntary intoxication is diminished inhibitions. I'm sure you've experienced sorority and fraternity parties. I've never seen a sober woman show her breasts in public. I've seen too many drunk women to remember who has. That dude who made a fortune with "Girls Gone Wild" videos captured women with alcohol-induced reduced inhibitions. I think he found himself on the bad side of law when at least one girl was underage.

[WaveRider]

opposite of being faithful

What is faithful?

[WaveRider]

I've been exposed to a definition of cheating as doing something a person wouldn't do were his/her wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend present.

I've read research that flirting, especially at work, is common among both genders. Would flirting be cheating?

[WaveRider]

If women cheat and have one night stands because alcohol makes them weak and they're more gullible, what's the excuse for the men they have the one night stands with and who cheat just as much?

I despise the alcohol excuse. I think we should be past that in 2017 when awareness of how impaired alcohol makes us is greater than ever. Do we accept "I was drunk" when someone gets into a car accident?

Drunk driving is not congruous with drunk sex.

I do agree that intoxication is merely an excuse. But anyone who has been drunk and hasn't regretted something they did while drunk would have to be the exception to the rule, and rules are never invalidated by exceptions. Rule always apply.

I know that I've done things I've regretted while drunk. As I've grown wiser, I rarely drink hard liquor. I've learned that regrets often arise from hard liquor intoxication. Now I'm 99% a beer and wine dude. I might get buzzed, but extremely rarely drunk. I hate hangovers.

An isolated drunk act of indiscretion is forgivable. A pattern isn't.

[amy40]

What is faithful?

I'm thinking about the seventh commandment.

[atskitty2]

I'm glad I looked at my state's laws on sexual consent, in general, even briefly. Seems a lot of wiggle room exists for defining consent, with impairment. I will try to read more later.

Anyway, back to the point. I do agree that I would be more likely to work through a one-time occurrence than an ongoing affair, alcohol involved or not.

Amy, I think it's a valid point, to ask what a person's boundaries are, in faithfulness. In the final days of my marriage, I was accused of cheating because I talked to my male boss, just a little too long, or whatever reason. He would say that I must be messing around with him, as we were together all day. Yeah, with other people, working. Now, obviously my hubs was irrational, as I've shared before, but he believed I was cheating. What I was doing was nothing even on a personal level as friends. It was all work related.

Some men are against carrying on friendships with exes. That is being unfaithful to them. I have friends that I once dated, and I don't intend to stop that. So, a man I date cannot be uncomfortable with that. Crossing lines can be individual. Even very open relationships have some boundaries. I think it's reasonable to explore what the boundaries are in Romys questions, and where she is in this, in order to provide the best guidance.

[amy40]

.I think it's reasonable to explore what the boundaries are in Romys questions, and where she is in this, in order to provide the best guidance.

Totally forgot it was Romy's thread since Romy hasn't posted again.

[WaveRider]

Hi amy40,

That would be cheating.

[WaveRider]

Hi atskitty2,

I'm sorry that you were wrongfully accused of infidelity. Jealously can cause people to allow their emotions overrule reasoned thought.

I'm not the jealous type. If I couldn't trust a woman, she wouldn't be my g/f or wife.

My ex-wife used to go out with friends after work. Some were men. There's no way I'd believe she cheated.

I think it's a healthy sign that exes can remain friends. I've always tried to remain on good terms with women I've dated. I'd be good with a g/f who remained friends with her former boyfriends and husband. When women trash men they've dated, that's cause for concern.

Years ago, when I was dating the woman I'm with whom I'm now seeing, we ran in to one of her former boyfriends. She used to risk getting caught by her parents because she used to bang him in her house while she was in high school. That moron didn't even have the class to walk over and say, "Hi," to her. And they were in a very sexual relationship.

Were I to run across women I've dated while I was in college or before marriage, I know I could walk up to them, give them a huge hug, and ask how they're doing. It's much more wise to leaving them laughing when you go.

I once attended a reunion. A woman was there with her husband. On the sly, she asked me to not talk about our teenage sex. I would've never done such a thing. Then I thought that her husband must be very insecure and jealous.

When I was in a dating relationship with the woman I'm now seeing, I'd talk to her ex-husband. He's not quite all there, so I was and remain very cautious yet friendly with him. He used to demean my g/f during sex, telling her she was gross for wanting him to cum on her **** and face. Had he been smart and listened when she tried to teach him how to experience fantastic sex, that would have been one less issue that eventually destroyed their marriage. He thought good sex was rolling atop her, penetrating her until he came, and then rolling back on his side of their bed. He used to frustrate her when he went down on her because he had no clue of how to get her off.

Sexual incompatibility is a huge issue in relationships. My g/f's extremely sexually experienced. Some might've called her a **** when she was younger. She was extremely good looking when she was in college and had a rock solid 10 body. She was voted one of her university's most beautiful coeds. So she never experienced lack of male attention. And she's always loved sex and was perpetually horny. Her ex might've had been with 3 women before they met. One of the endearing qualities I adore about her is her sexual experience of which I'm beneficiary. If she wants me to cum on her face, she doesn't have to ask twice. I have pictures of her with my cum on her face. I've cum in her hair before and she never became upset.

Some men are insecure and intimidated by women who are more sexually experienced than are they. If they'd set aside their illusory pride and ask, "What do you want me to do, and how do you want me to do it," they'd assuredly be in happier relationships.