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Relationship Transition

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  • Relationship Transition

    Over Easter break, my g/f had a lot of family obligations. Add to that, other spontaneous events that have popped up that have kept her busy. Her eldest daughter is a control freak who can't keep a boyfriend. She tries to control her mom, my g/f. The point is we haven't seen each other in over a week. Ya know, I haven't missed her. Make no mistake, she's the best sex I've ever had. But it seems that I'm no longer willing to compromise to keep her happy. I know that I'll never marry her. I've told her that if she should find a dude whom she believes is marriage material, she should commit to him. Feelings I've once had for her are no longer there. I'm thinking that maybe it's time I take a break and figure out the direction I want to travel. I'm very comfortable in my skin. I do not NEED anyone. Hopefully, when my mood transitions, I'll find someone I'll want.

    There's a lot more that I haven't included. We're opposites in more ways than we're the same, and the same stay together.

    Have you guys experienced similar relationship transitions?

  • Originally posted by WaveRider View Post
    Have you guys experienced similar relationship transitions?
    do you mean guys as there doesn't seem to be many men posting anymore? i.e. jns, motorguy disappeared

    wave rider, you've been together or known her a long time
    is it the elder daughter contributing the most to your decision to split?


    • You two were just booty buddies anyway, right? I think I remember you telling us that "girlfriend" was really a euphemism in this case and that she wasn't your lady. Isn't the whole point of those relationships that there's no need to do anything other than have sex when you both feel like it?

      When I was in my 20's I fantasized about relationships like that, but when I came across the women who were into it I passed.

      Originally posted by amy40 View Post
      do you truly mean guys as there doesn't seem to be any men posting anymore?
      I thought you were nice, Amy.
      "Those sowing seed with tears
      Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126


      • Yeah I think we've all experienced a transition in one way or another Waverider. This will be difficult for you both, when it actually happens.

        If neither of you have other prospects currently, and the sex is enjoyable, what's the reason you are considering just ending it now? as I understand you.


        • Good Morning, Stillness,

          Yes, you are correct. We're in it for sex. We're extremely sexually compatible. But that's about it. She refuses to work. Her octogenarian mom supports her. Because she was born into privilege, she believes she's owed what she has and what she wants. She thinks she's gold digger material. If she ever was, it was over for her 26 years ago. However, she is the best sex I've ever had. She exudes latent sexuality that screams with silent assurance, "I can make you cum."


          • Hi amy40,

            The daughter has issues that were instilled in her by her mother. I think her control issues are symptomatic of male rejection. When she lands a boyfriend, she tries to control his behavior; e.g., a drinking night with his buddies becomes delusional cheating in her mind; therefore, she can't allow him buddy time.

            It's not that the daughter controls her mom, it's that her mom allows it. It's darn close to emotional incest where parent-child roles are reversed.


            • Good Morning atskitty2,

              It's not that I'm thinking of ending it. It's that I feel as though I'm indifferent about her. She is incapable of acknowledging that others view events and life differently than does she.

              She's recently told me that our routine over the past few years is going out to dinner then having sex all night long. And she's right. And she has an elitist attitude. She's told me that she'd never date a man who is not college educated. The most valuable knowledge is not learned in institutions of higher education. I comport myself consistent with the Golden Rule. Her attitude is that she should rule the gold.

              I haven't had sex with her in two weeks, and so far I ain't missed it. But I know her. She's craving it. She can't go a day without wanting it.

              She needs to be remarried. But at her age and in CA, the probability of that happening is darn near zero.


              • Are you sure you are her only partner currently? Would masturbating satisfy her?

                It almost seems as if you don't even really like this woman. Am I right? Seems to bring new meaning to a solely sexual relationship.


                • Wave rider...remember from another post that you said you love her but are not "in love" with her. You do know that the "in love" phase is pretty much all chemicals. I remember that "in love" phase quite well; that feeling of floating on air.....it's all brain chemicals. And when that goes away, hopefully there is love that has taken root.
                  If you actually do love her, how come you never married?


                  • Hi amy40,

                    I know of no divorced man in my age group who'll remarry. It's all about CA family law, which is really a sham. Not many men who've been through will again expose themselves to it. Its a very sad story for women in my age group. Their primary complaint is finding a man who'll commit to marriage. On the other side, I've know women and have known of women who've hit the CA spousal support lottery, one to the tune of 30k a month. She'll never remarry. If she does, she'll lose her spousal support. I've dated a few women who have hit the CA spousal support lottery. None had any intention of losing it by remarrying. There's a reason that women of wealthy husbands move to CA, establish residency here, and then file for divorce in CA. It's all about forcing men to support them for the rest of their lives. Tell me how that differs from slavery. If a person is forced to work for the benefit of another, it's slavery, only it's legal in CA.

                    I've been thinking of the very thing you mentioned. Do I love her, or is it another sentiment, emotion, feeling, etc? Being as objective as I can, I don't think I love her. I do love the incredible sex. I used to tell her all of the time that I loved her vast and considerable sexual experience. Listening to her, she's an anal sex expert. When I told her I've never done it, she was incredulous. She said that all of her girlfriends do it, and apparently her college sorority sisters were anal active, too. She has asked me many times to have anal sex with her. For some reason, it has never interested me. According to her, a lot of men love anal sex, and she'd know.

                    Years ago when we were in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, I was thoroughly in love with her. We shared a palpable sexual chemistry that was unbelievable. While dining out, especially after her third glass of wine, she'd talk sex. If we could've we'd of done in atop a restaurant table.

                    The more I've learned of her personality, the less in love with her I was. We've remained friends, or maybe buddies. I do know that it's closing in on three weeks since I've sex with her, and I ain't missing it because she can become a tyrant. And her elitist attitude is disturbing. She doesn't want to work. She wants to find a rich man who'll marry her and allow her spend his money. If she were ever gold digger material, it disappeared more than a couple decades ago. In So Cal, gold diggers are replaced when they hit 30. Being beyond excellent in bed does not keep a relationship buoyant.


                    • Originally posted by WaveRider View Post
                      It's all about CA family law, which is really a sham. Not many men who've been through will again expose themselves to it.
                      Years ago when we were in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, I was thoroughly in love with her.
                      Years ago, why didn't you marry her then, when you were in love with her? Just curious. You don't have to answer.

                      CA family law......there are still people getting married in CA......


                      • Good Morning, amy40,

                        Some of the uninitiated are getting married in CA. Divorced men very rarely remarry in CA. I'm dead honest: I know of no divorced man in CA who'll EVER remarry.

                        CA is a totalitarian state that has been ruined by immigrants and migrants who demand something for nothing that you're paying for. They have no clue of maximum individual liberty. Multiculturalism is an intellectual fraud. One culture will always rise to the top, which obliterates the fable of multiculturalism. Once beautiful CA cities in CA resemble cities of Third World nations. There are places of cities that the wise who favor living will not go for fear of dying. Our moron governor just raised gas taxes by 12 cents a gallon. It's a regressive tax that harms the poor most. If government can tax it, it will. Freedom is an allusion in CA. We can do only what government allows us to do, and that ain't much. CA has laws proscribing everything, not to control behavior but to raise revenue from fines to be redistributed in exchange for votes.

                        Most Americans have no clue of the genius of our Founding Fathers. They have traded liberty for the illusion of security and now we have neither. CA's gunophobes have left Californians as easy targets for criminals. Even if liberals get their way of a Californian Utopia in which all guns are confiscated, criminals will still have theirs. Believe me, criminals would love gun confiscation. It would assure that every victim is defenseless. La La Landers have no clue. They're beyond brain dead if they fantasize of criminals giving up their guns. It'll never, ever happen. They're criminals because they don't obey law. They make up their own laws that they'll violate when it suits them. Oh yeah, ~70% of CA prison inmates are illegal aliens. You're paying for their crimes, their arrests, their prosecutions, and their imprisonment. President Trump is 100% right: BUILD THE ********ED WALL!

                        CA is proof that emotional liberal ideology that is wholly devoid of historic fact and reality is an abjectly failed construct.

                        I was born in this state. It was a free state then. Migrants use fables as their maps and immigrants with governmental largess at American taxpayer expense have taken the great and destroyed it.

                        California is on the brink of BK. That was the predictable consequence of liberal ideology of redistribution of wealth. But our dummed down education system has assured that students are not exposed to grossly failed communism and socialism.

                        There is a reason why President Trump won and populism is replacing liberalism in Europe. People are tired of working for others. And in CA, women can force their ex-husbands to support them in lives of luxury, which is definitively slavery.

                        amy40, If you lived here, you'd know how bad it is. And it is a darker shade of horrific.


                        • Wave rider I'm sorry it is so bad to live in CA! That must be why so many Californians have moved to CO.


                          • I'm going with my finding a new g/f as being a done deal.

                            A good friend has told me that that woman I'm banging is manipulating me with her considerable sexual prowess. I was good with that manipulation. But outta bed, we have little in common. The fact is most women are excellent in bed. All a dude has to do is assure that they're comfortable and he won't betray her trust. Then turn her loose. When a woman is comfortable and trusts a dude, she'll tell him just about everything, especially how she most enjoys sex.

                            Due to conflicting end-of-school scheduling and her very controlling kid, I haven't seen her in a couple weeks. I used to think about banging her all of the darn time. Now I have my mind wandering in the direction of other women.

                            CDC STD stats have greatly modified my behavior. I don't want to contract an STD.


                            • If those feelings are gone you'd be right to break up with her. Your knowledge that you'll never marry her should send warning bells through your head. Do the right thing and move on. You can't fake feelings that aren't there.



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