[jns]

I think some of the times guys go for the prettier women the first time and after that go for a woman more average but with more compatibility.

[WaveRider]

Hi JNS,

I'm sure that there are divorced men who'll remarry. But I don't know of any. It's about relinquishing power over our lives to CA family law system.

I do agree that our preferences will change as we age. Looks are important, but not the most important facet. For me, it's friendship.

We're all good for mistakes. Maybe two, but when people marry three times and more, others look at them as having difficulty remaining in relationships.

[WaveRider]

Hi amy40,

I've heard of far worse divorces. CA family law encourages spouses to cut jugulars. There's a reason women of wealthy husbands move to CA, establish residency here, and file for a CA divorce. After 10 years' marriage, it's lifetime spousal support, or what's colloquially known as hitting the CA spousal support lottery. Instead of encouraging exes to become productive, CA's spousal support lottery encourages them to become and remain deadbeats living off of the labor of their former spouses.

This scenario is not uncommon in CA: rich man marries SYT (sweet, young thang). He has three kids from a prior marriage whom he expects will receive the fruits of his labor. She has two kids from a prior relationship. She has few or no assets. He dies before creating a trust. SYT inherits ALL of his assets. She cuts out his kids from the fruits of her deceased husband's labor. SYT and her kids get it all. And in CA, judges & pettifoggers call it justice.

BTW, I've read that Yoko Ono, who did not a productive thing in her life, inherited all of John Lennon's assets. She cut his kid from a prior relationship off from Lennon's money. She's worth over a billion bucks because her husband died without a will or trust. And Yoko used to espouse communism...apparently with other people's money, not hers.

There's a reason that ~70% of Americans don't believe our "justice" system is just. There's a reason why Americans rank lawyers among the bottom third of America's most admired careers.

Another BTW, I'm not sure if CA has prenup law. It doesn't recognize common law marriage, which is why divorced dudes in my age group will live with women w/o marrying them.

[WaveRider]

The woman I'm seeing -or was seeing- has a birthday soon. I'll probably go to her house to wish her a happy birthday. I might take her out to dinner.

She's had a busy couple weeks with a college graduation, another kid in crisis, and other family commitments. I'm good with that. Her family should come first.

Except for a few brief minutes, I haven't talked to her in over two weeks.

She used to have a lot of $$$. Now she's broke. Adversity revealed her true character. She does not want to work. Her elderly mother, who has a whole lot of $$$ supports her. Her primary objective is to find any man with $$$, get him to marry her and take care of her. If she was ever gold digger material, it ended 27 years ago. It's not going to work for her. She's good looking, not gorgeous, but good looking. She has an above average body for her age, which I attribute to genetics. She looks 10 years younger than she is. And she beyond excellent in bed. She's the best I've ever had. She can keep a man sexually fulfilled. She can still have sex for two hours. But so can a much younger woman who doesn't believe she's entitled to $$$ a man has earned.

When we were in a relationship, it was intense. I loved her when she had $$$ and when she didn't. But her elitist attitude, her sense of entitlement, and her believe that she doesn't have to provide for herself are contrary to my beliefs.

I do hope she's able to find her dream man. There is nothing wrong with wanting happiness. However, her happiness isn't in a loving relationship. It's in having access to $$$. If she can find it, I hope she's happy.

[jns]

Hi amy40,

I've heard of far worse divorces. CA family law encourages spouses to cut jugulars. There's a reason women of wealthy husbands move to CA, establish residency here, and file for a CA divorce. After 10 years' marriage, it's lifetime spousal support, or what's colloquially known as hitting the CA spousal support lottery. Instead of encouraging exes to become productive, CA's spousal support lottery encourages them to become and remain deadbeats living off of the labor of their former spouses.

This scenario is not uncommon in CA: rich man marries SYT (sweet, young thang). He has three kids from a prior marriage whom he expects will receive the fruits of his labor. She has two kids from a prior relationship. She has few or no assets. He dies before creating a trust. SYT inherits ALL of his assets. She cuts out his kids from the fruits of her deceased husband's labor. SYT and her kids get it all. And in CA, judges & pettifoggers call it justice.

BTW, I've read that Yoko Ono, who did not a productive thing in her life, inherited all of John Lennon's assets. She cut his kid from a prior relationship off from Lennon's money. She's worth over a billion bucks because her husband died without a will or trust. And Yoko used to espouse communism...apparently with other people's money, not hers.

There's a reason that ~70% of Americans don't believe our "justice" system is just. There's a reason why Americans rank lawyers among the bottom third of America's most admired careers.

Another BTW, I'm not sure if CA has prenup law. It doesn't recognize common law marriage, which is why divorced dudes in my age group will live with women w/o marrying them.

There are plenty of ways in California and other places to make provisions for children and grand children that cannot be seized by a spouse even if you do not have a will. Life insurance is an easy one and a bank account in trust is another, especially if the account is funded by gifts and inheritance. Generally people who have sufficient resources and who don't make provisions don't care about their offspring.

BTW, comparing lawyers to prostitutes is unfair to prostitutes who generally are much better people.

[amy40]

her believe that she doesn't have to provide for herself are contrary to my beliefs.

waverider
Guess this doesn't matter now since you are moving on but why expect her to get a job in her 50's?

Many employers are reluctant to hire over 40, but over 50, you'd better have an impeccable resume and then hope you have no recent college graduates competing with you.