[WaveRider]

Happy New Year, JNS,

I'm praying you're right.

90+% of Americans erroneously believe that our Founding Fathers limited suffrage as an extension of racism. It's a very common myth. Our Founding Fathers didn't fear blacks voting. They feared poor, ignorant whites holding suffrage because they knew they'd convert the US Treasury into a cash dispensing apparatus that they could hit to fulfill their wants at the expense of American taxpayers. After all, government produces nothing. It must seize from the productive before it can redistribute it to the unproductive all the while desperately searching for a euphemism for theft by governmental force.

There was a very good reason that our Founding Fathers created a republic. It's shocking that maybe 80% of uneducated Americans think we live in a democracy. Our Founding Fathers feared democracies because they have and always will destroy themselves.

Obamacare was a classic example of what Thomas Jefferson would've called an illegitimate government. Obamacare forced productive Americans to foot healthcare costs of the unproductive. Anyway you slice it, it was legalized theft. Worse, our Founding Fathers never intended Americans to lay prostrate at the altar of governmental largess. They created a country of rugged individualists with maximum individual liberty and responsibility for their successes...or failures.

[WaveRider]

I talked with my friend last night. He knows my g/f. He thinks that she manipulates me with excellent sex. She'll always be able to get me to come back for more. He told me, and he's assuredly right, that she has always been able to get what she wants by manipulating men with incredible sex. He's seen her naked in his hot tub. He acknowledges that she has a very sex body. She is, by nature, extremely sexual. Her incredible sex drive is cause by hormonal imbalance. She's probably used what nature has given her to manipulate men.

My g/f's a free talker after a bottle of wine. When she sobers, she'll have forgotten what she's told me when she was drunk. But she knows that she's good because I will not judge her prior sex life. How many men she's done and what she's done with former boyfriends and FWB's is none of my business. A benefit of her freely discussing her sex life with me was I knew what she liked and didn't like before we engaged in horizontal gymnastics. She's told me many, many years ago (she was drinking), right after we became boyfriend-girlfriend, that there wasn't anything she hasn't done during sex, that she has always been able to extract men's sexual pleasures. But what I failed to recognize and what my friend has recognized is her pattern of conduct. It's probably a fair statement to say that to her, sex is an act that she hopes will lead to satisfying her wants. However, while she's college educated, she's apparently not bright enough to know that men can spot women's vulnerabilities and exploit them. A dude could string her along with a worn out tune, get incredible sex from her, and then adios her. I don't think she'd care if men use and abuse her. I'd bet she's been used for great sex by more men than she can remember. She'd consider it a business cost until she finds a dupe with money who'll fulfill her material wants. At the root of it is her unyielding compulsion to live what she considers an elite lifestyle. She wants to become a real housewife of Beverly Hills. She hasn't figured out that reality TV ain't real.

Gym girl told me a month ago that she was doing New Year's Eve in Vegas with her sister. That fact jumped ship until she brought it up again a few days ago. I'm sure our relationship will mature into friendship. If it does and it's what she wants, I'd be good going physical with her. But I don't want to have sex with her to satisfy my physical pleasure. While I can have sex every day w/o meds, meaningless sex isn't important to me. It was when I was younger. But now I hate lies and BS that accompanies meaningless sex and one-nighters. It cheapens me, not women.

There's a huge part of me that feels deep sorrow for my g/f. I've known her a long time. We've created a lot of treasured memories, and some that ought to be forgotten. If she were able to see that chasing an illusion through a maze will lead to despair, she'd become marriage material.

Here's my friend's advice (keep in mind that he doesn't like my g/f, and for good reason): amicable distance between g/f and me. Don't rush into another relationship. Haste makes waste. Make honest assessments. If gym girl is relationship material and the feeling is mutual, pursue it. If not, I'll have made another friend.

[atskitty2]

It could be that your gf knows/understands this, just doesn't care. I think most of us understand that men will take sex if easily given and walk away. It could be that she simply wants to go about it this way because sex is that much a priority to her.

If she is suffering from lower self esteem, she may have no other way of feeling good about herself, besides sexual expression. So it becomes a double-edged sword.

And it also isn't that uncommon for anyone these days to become obsessed with the lifestyles they see everywhere in the media. We are slammed with imagery and ideology of wealth. One of my girlfriends is overly concerned with a man's income, imo. She won't date a blue collar worker, & certain professions are more considered than others. It's an easy trap to fall into, no matter the social class.

I think you should just move on while you have someone that may bring new joy to your life. There's really no need to sort of justify it, or talk yourself into it, if that's what you are trying to do here. What you want to do, is the only reason needed.

[WaveRider]

Hi atskitty2,

I've thought the same thing. I have no idea how many sexual partners my g/f has had, but from what she's told me, it has to be close to 30. I know that she has a hormonal imbalanced that has caused her to be horny all of the time, but I'd of thought that she should have used more restraint.

And you're right again, she is most comfortable with herself during sex. I'm sure that guys used to compliment her on her sexual prowess, which caused her to expand her sexuality in search of reassurance from men. She did confide in me a year or so ago that many men have used her. I felt sorry for her when she told me that. I've, never, ever used her for sex.

When we first started dating, she told me, pridefully, that she has always been able to make guys cum. It was about their sexual satisfaction that prompted their complimenting her. She said there wasn't anything she wouldn't do to sexually satisfy a guy. One of her boyfriends wanted her to play the role of a stripper. She'd strip naked, dance for him, and rub her bush him his face. She did it for me and asked me if I liked it. I told her that I loved it. Then she told me where she learned the skill. A benefit for her was her boyfriend or FWB or whatever he was to her would cum within seconds of her giving him head. But it goes back to positive reinforcement of self-esteem through sex acts.

As we know, college guys will talk. I'm sure the book on her during college was she was excellent in bed and easy to get in bed. Hence, I'm sure that she had many guys hitting on her. She was very good looking and had an incredible body. She told me that she learned at a very young age of the power her naked body had over guys. She told me that she has always loved to be naked. One of her first boyfriends, the dude who got her into anal sex, and her used to spends hours naked together. I was amazed that she was never knocked up. Another dude she used to date and she would spend an entire day naked together, usually on a weekend day.

So far, I've been loyal to my commitment to not seeing her. I'm going to not date anyone for a while, sort of retract into a Buddhism state where I can figure out what I want.

BTW, my g/f called and wanted to arrange another anal plugging session. I excused my way out of it. But she darn near had me.

[atskitty2]

I must have missed the part where you said you have made a commitment not to see her. Was it a commitment to yourself?

[WaveRider]

Hi atskitty2,

Yep. A few weeks ago I ran in to a couple of women who were in their early-to-mid 30's at a bar of a chain restaurant. It was a nice restaurant, but definitely not five star. When I walked by them, they were laughing and having a great time. I said to them that I felt slighted because I had missed a good joke. One replied, "one-for-one," meaning I tell them a joke and they'd tell me a joke. I ending up BS'ing with them for an hour plus.

Both were drinking martinis. Both were not feeling pain. But they were lucid. One was a divorced DDS. Her ex is a physician. We began talking relationships. She left a relationship with another physician because she's in love with a fireman.

My g/f can't resolve adversity normally. She functions at extremes. When she went from uber rich to zero, her personality changed for the worse. Was that change a reversion to her true personality that she was able to conceal due to access to a whole lot of $$$? I told the DDS about my g/f. She thinks that she suffers from schizophrenia. She told me to not trust a thing she tells me. Apparently my g/f's college promiscuity was not caused by her hormonal imbalance. It was probably a symptom of mental illness or behavioral abnormality. If that is the case, she told me to not believe a thing she tells me about her personal life; e.g., I'm the only one with whom she has sex. She told me of classic symptoms of schizophrenia. My g/f fits in many categories. My relationship with her dysfunctional. From what she has told me, all of her relationships were dysfunctional.

The DDS asked my why I hang with her. I told her the truth: excellent sex. She politely told me I was naive. She said that most women know how to have excellent sex. On the other hand, my g/f uses sex for ulterior motives, yet she loves sex and is raptured by many massive orgasms. She also told me that if she's right, that my g/f has assuredly had far more than thirty sex partners and far more than one one-night-stand. She said that reckless promiscuity is a common symptom of some mental illnesses and behavioral abnormalities. She said that I might be wrong about my believing that I'm the only dude with whom she has sex. She told me that I need to reconsider because if she has mental illness or behavioral abnormality, it will compromise the quality of my life. She said that my g/f's penchant for exhibitionism is for attention from men and not to fulfill a normal sexual fantasy. I told her that my g/f has told me that a lot of men have used her for sex. She said that that's it right there: she was willing to allow men to use her for sex.

Her friend used to online date. She's in the medical field, but not as a professional. Her boyfriend is a physician. She told me that dudes in her age range want sex and only sex. They're not dating online for relationships. She said all of her online dates were BS'ers. Nearly all were millionaires; well, according to them they were. She told me that if they were millionaires, they wouldn't have had to online date. She told me that I ought to try online dating. She said that women in my age range are usually grounded in reality. She said that were I to try online dating, I'd assuredly line up as many dates as I wanted. I told her that I didn't want a lot of dates. I want only one woman who's my best friend.

My g/f has great difficulty keeping friendships.

Believe me, I've given their advice a lot of thought. I really need to figure out implications of my g/f's behavior. Are her behaviors symptoms of mental illness?

Time away from my g/f to think clearly will give me opportunity to make an accurate assessment. Were I to guess, I'd say that that DDS was right. She had my g/f wired w/o having met her. Both of the aforementioned martini drinkers told me to not date anyone for a while, and to not get into a "rebound" relationship.

[WaveRider]

As time separates connection, one is able to better assess and more clearly see what ought to be seen.

[amy40]

As time separates connection, one is able to better assess and more clearly see what ought to be seen.

what have you seen?
has that let to any action on your part?

i.e. leaving or staying with gf

[WaveRider]

Hi amy40,

Who I had made her out to be and who she really is aren't the same.

"If you want to test a man's character, give him power."
----Abraham Lincoln

"If you want to test a woman's character, give her adversity."
---WaveRider

[amy40]

Hi amy40,
Who I had made her out to be and who she really is aren't the same.

did I read somewhere you've been together 11 yrs?
are you just discovering this now OR you've reached a personal season of discontent?