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  • atskitty2
    Assistant Admin
    • Aug 2013
    • 4467

    Well, you're on an adventure huh, WR?

    I recently told one of the men I'm talking to that I'd rather just be friends. I enjoy his company and he seems like a good person, there's just no attraction there for me. The physical is just not there.

    He said he understands, then asked if we could cuddle occasionally. I asked if he meant fwb, and he said no. I told him that cuddling isn't something I typically do with "friends". He continued to make a case, and I just had to tell him that is complicated and not within my personal preference to behave that way...out of bounds for me. He continues contact and I interact minimally.
    I have male friends that I don't cuddle or snuggle and I don't care to change that.

    Friendship is hard too!

    Comment

    • atskitty2
      Assistant Admin
      • Aug 2013
      • 4467

      Well, you're on an adventure huh, WR?

      I recently told one of the men I'm talking to that I'd rather just be friends. I enjoy his company and he seems like a good person, there's just no attraction there for me. The physical is just not there.

      He said he understands, then asked if we could cuddle occasionally. I asked if he meant fwb, and he said no. I told him that cuddling isn't something I typically do with "friends". He continued to make a case, and I just had to tell him that is complicated and not within my personal preference to behave that way...out of bounds for me. He continues contact and I interact minimally.
      I have male friends that I don't cuddle or snuggle and I don't care to change that.

      Friendship is hard too!

      Comment

      • Popcorn&Candy
        Veteran Member
        • Jun 2016
        • 1713

        You're obviously attracted to the gym woman much more than your current partner. I think you'd be wise to change partners. Don't worry too much about the sex part: gym woman will be very happy with you - and happy to sleep with you - I am sure. You've got to follow your heart, as corny as that sounds. I wouldn't stay in a relationship because of the sex: I would go with someone I had an emotional attachment with. Not a physical attraction alone. Go with the love: not the action in the bedsheets.

        Comment

        • WaveRider
          Veteran Member
          • Mar 2017
          • 701

          Hi Popcorn&Candy,

          I've agreed with everything you've written, except I ain't in love with gym girl. I'm not sure how I feel about her. She has a very good body. A couple weeks ago, she made sure that I saw a lot of it through Spandex.

          Sex alone will never sustain a relationship. Sex will get a man. Sex alone will never keep a man.

          I have remained true to my commitment of seeing no one until I have it figured out.

          Comment

          • WaveRider
            Veteran Member
            • Mar 2017
            • 701

            My g/f is depressed, which I had not intended. I don't want her to be depressed. She thinks I'm seeing another woman. I've assured her that I merely need alone time to think. I'm not sure what she believes.

            Comment

            • amy40
              Veteran Member
              • Nov 2016
              • 2732

              Originally posted by WaveRider
              My g/f is depressed, which I had not intended.
              how do you know?
              have you seen her or just talked/texted

              Comment

              • atskitty2
                Assistant Admin
                • Aug 2013
                • 4467

                You're not responsible for her depression or her feelings, or what she believes, as long as you're being honest. I'm sure you realise that, but just to remind you.

                If you decide to leave her behind, she's going to feel even lower, most likely. Don't be too influenced by her mood. You ultimately have to do what's best for yourself.

                Comment

                • jns
                  Assistant Admin
                  • Mar 2010
                  • 8398

                  Originally posted by WaveRider
                  My g/f is depressed, which I had not intended. I don't want her to be depressed. She thinks I'm seeing another woman. I've assured her that I merely need alone time to think. I'm not sure what she believes.
                  Sex causes a release of chemical in the body. The depression is probably caused partially by her not getting those chemicals and having withdrawal symptoms.
                  I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                  ...
                  Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                  From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                  Comment

                  • WaveRider
                    Veteran Member
                    • Mar 2017
                    • 701

                    Originally posted by amy40
                    how do you know?
                    have you seen her or just talked/texted
                    Telephonic conversation.

                    Comment

                    • WaveRider
                      Veteran Member
                      • Mar 2017
                      • 701

                      Originally posted by jns

                      Sex causes a release of chemical in the body. The depression is probably caused partially by her not getting those chemicals and having withdrawal symptoms.
                      You're probably right. When she's in a bad mood, a porn star sex session changes her personality from hostile to very sweet.

                      I have thought that her youthful promiscuity was probably prompted by her desire for the euphoric sensation she gets from sex. She told me, many times, that she thinks she's addicted to sex. I also think that her ego was boosted by watching dudes' reactions to her naked body. She has told me more than once that she learned as a teenager of the power her naked body has over dudes. She told me that one of her college boyfriends would almost cum as soon as she got naked.

                      But I haven't seen her closing in on a month.

                      Comment

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