[Rebecca_93]

Since reconnecting with him last week at church, I am happy to say that things are going really well. We are overcoming our obstacles and have been communicating much better. I still feel that I cannot disappoint him when he is so excited about becoming a parent with me, especially after the struggles of the past few weeks. I learned from his love and support he will be the greatest husband and father in the world.

I just wanted to say I feel without your help and support in this forum that I would have felt so alone and hopeless in my darkest moments.



Carlana - Thank you for your kind and supportive words. After a few days of thinking, I came to the conclusion that your recommended path towards securing motherhood by increasing my chances is in conflict with my moral code and my promises to God. I would not be the virtuous woman that he fell in love with. I do agree however with much of the other things you said in your post, and I thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

It was slightly upsetting for me to think that my Christian morals and values might be inhibiting my journey to motherhood. I hope that this is only a temporary weakness of mine. I just have to remind myself to follow God's path for me.

[amy40]

I just wanted to say I feel without your help and support in this forum that I would have felt so alone and hopeless

I did sense that you needed support after what I thought was him walking away when u hadn't heard from him
which is why was hoping you'd reach out to your parents

stick around Rebecca and let us know how you're doing

[Popcorn&Candy]

I agree with amy40: do stay around and let us know how you're doing. You obviously love the man, so just be true to yourself.

[Rebecca_93]

Lately it has been going really well between the two of us. We have had many romantic moments and he has been very attentive and affectionate

As it is Valentines day I cooked for him today. I made a big effort and literally spent all day preparing. I even decorated my apartment for our romantic evening together. However, he never showed up. I texted him, but I got no response at all. He didn't pick up the phone either. I put so much effort into today to show him I am proper housewife material, but I ended up crying and eating dinner alone.

I don't understand why he didn't show. I mean, he always tells me I am the love of his life. So why doesn't he want to spend Valentines with me?? Why would he spend it with his family he is going to leave anyway? It makes me wonder does he really love me or is he playing games?

It's upsetting. I have spent the whole day preparing for this evening, and he doesn't even have the decency to let me know he can't make it.

Maybe tomorrow I will see things differently, but right now I feel really sad and alone.

[amy40]

Maybe tomorrow I will see things differently, but right now I feel really sad and alone.

Valentine's Day is often a difficult day to spend alone
hopefully, you will feel better and ask for an explanation since he didn't let u know he wasn't coming over

[Baboy]

Rebecca, this whole thing is so star-crossed it's hard to give much advice. There appears to be a fair measure of dissembling on both sides.

You say your lover's wife has cheated on him and is pregnant by some other man. How do you know that for sure? I'd await the DNA results, if I were you. If I had to guess, I would say she is pregnant by her husband.

As for what to do about your lack of pregnancy, despite telling your lover otherwise, I really like Carlana's reply about "multiple donors", presumably in an effort to make pregnancy a reality, and darn quick. Perhaps your church will offer up a bevy of volunteers. Whether you go the turkey baster route or use the more direct approach, well....

Frankly, since your relationship is borne of a web of lies and deceptions, perhaps one more won't much matter. In for a penny, in for a pound. So just tell him that you were so overwrought by being jilted on Valentine's Day that you had a spontaneous miscarriage. One problem solved.

[Baboy]

I was in a similar position myself. I fell in love with a married man. I knew that he was married when the affair began, but that didnt stop us. We went on to have a beautiful child together. After I got pregnant he left his wife and two children. He was similar to your fiancee, in that he was sick of the wife not simply doing her duties and focussing too much on the children. We had our own challenges in the process but we made it work

What he doesnt know however is that it is very very probably not his child. But what he doesnt know cant hurt him

One of the more depressing posts I have ever encountered.

The guy dumped his wife and his 2 biological (most likely) children, to be with a woman who was carrying on an affair with him and involved with at least one other guy at the same time. A woman who has deceived him in a very fundamental way, leaving him to raise a child that is not his, but he has been duped into believing otherwise. Sad is an adjective wholly inadequate to describe that lamentable situation.

"What he doesn't know can't hurt him." Let's hope that there does not come a day when the kid needs a blood transfusion, or organ or tissue donation or some such, where the doctors will look to "dad", only to discover that he's not the natural father. That will be a day to remember.

[Rebecca_93]

The last days have been really hard for me.

After Valentines day he kept on ignoring me. At first I was mad, but then I wondered if I had done something to upset him.

This Sunday he was in church. He ignored me and flirted with the other girls. My friend also noticed and she asked if I was ok with that. I literally felt the world collapsing on me.

After church I just wanted to go home and walked straight to my car and drove home. When I got home I saw that he had texted me asking why I didn't wait for him after church. At least we are communicating again, but he texted me he wanted to have a serious talk with me in person.

I don't know what it is he wants to talk about?? Could it be that he knows I am not pregnant?

[jwdcreations]

If he were a good Christan with a good heart, he would have never let this happen or continue.

God did not allow you two to be together. You both chose to be together. God doesn't stop us from making choices, good or bad. We make the choices.

He has lied to you, his wife, his child and to himself. You have lied to yourself, your parents, your friends and to him. He has you right where he eants you, accepting any little crumb he drops.

You are a fool to stay with him, dump him now.

[jns]

It is my understanding, in Christianity, lies are the work of the Devil, not God. It would be impossible to have a Godly relationship built on so many lies.