[blonde3737]

grilled about that other woman. You mean me asking all pointless questions all day long about something that happened when we weren't together. I think I ask those questions because he said it just HAPPENED. Nothing lead up to it, but she must of thought he was attractive when they worked together when him and I were going out before we took that break up "separation for 3 months". I feel like she might of talked to him about hanging out before when him and i were going out...but he has always been honest with me and he told me it just happened....and he wouldnt do it again, but it happened. i just need to get over it but i wonder ya know. Although he always tells me he would never cheat on me, or hurt me in any way....i have nothing to worry about etc. I just sometimes think about if there was more than that...but i doubt it. Was it just a spontaneous thing when he was feeling down and she was making him feel better that one night? --I really appreciate people responding so much, I know I think about it way to much but its nice to have such good advice on here-- thanks again

[Fallen1]

grilled about that other woman. You mean me asking all pointless questions all day long about something that happened when we weren't together. I think I ask those questions because he said it just HAPPENED. Nothing lead up to it, but she must of thought he was attractive when they worked together when him and I were going out before we took that break up "separation for 3 months". I feel like she might of talked to him about hanging out before when him and i were going out...but he has always been honest with me and he told me it just happened....and he wouldnt do it again, but it happened. i just need to get over it but i wonder ya know. Although he always tells me he would never cheat on me, or hurt me in any way....i have nothing to worry about etc. I just sometimes think about if there was more than that...but i doubt it. Was it just a spontaneous thing when he was feeling down and she was making him feel better that one night? --I really appreciate people responding so much, I know I think about it way to much but its nice to have such good advice on here-- thanks again

Yes that's what I meant by being grilled.

You can't see how it just happened ..... look at it as though it was a "one night stand". People meet people all the time (at bars etc.) and go home with them and have sex .... and it just happens spontaneously. At least he did know this woman, it wasn't just a stranger he picked up at a bar. I think if I were to have a one night stand it would be with someone I was acquainted with, not a stranger.

[Fallen1]

I'd also like to add that along the lines of you wondering about spontaneity/how it could have just happened, think back to those instances when you kissed the other guy(s) and even slept in the same bed with one of them ..... didn't it just happen?

[Rozz]

Older women

What he di wasn't right, but when you think about it you kissed other guys. I know thats not having sex with him but you still did. Things like that do happen but atleast you weren't dating at the time. Personally I don't think he should of told you all those details cause now you just want to know more and more and thats why it still bothers you to this day. Your not going to jsut forget about it but hun you do need to quit asking him about, expesally if it makes him mad. It would get old after a year, you know?
I think you guys can get past it but you just have to let it go. He didn't ask you 101 questions about those boys you kissed, or did he?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think you should quit the questioning here quite frankly, for one reason only, and that is every time you read a reply, and pose questions, your reminising in it more and more..

As a result, your going back to him and finding ways to bring it up.

I mean " what do you class as old", he probably answered with what he felt, 40.. Then realised that oh oh, here we go again, then said 50.. but you baited him to start with, threw the Ace card. You should actually be saying sorry to him now and forget it.

As everyone has said, it happened, it was spontaneous, you weren't together, it's not a concern of yours...

As for living together.

Commitment.. Trust.. Love and Understanding?

At this point, you don't understand, you don't trust and you only have the other two ingredients.

Work on the other two, trust and understanding and then maybe you'd be great at living together at that stage...

CW

[blonde3737]

hey chandler

hey chandler, how are you ? I have a quick question for you. The other day I was doing a walk with my boyfriend and obviously you see people you might know. Anyways, theres a girl we went to high school with and shes very nice. I have talked to her a lot in the past. She works my boyfriend now. He every once in a while sees her while he is with guy friends at a bar or something. Anyways, he saw her the other day at a place where we were and he didnt even say anything to her... i said how come you didnt say hi to her and he said i didnt see her but clearly he did. I saw him look over in the direction where her and her sister were standing. I always let my mind race but when i thought about this, i figured to get advice instead of saying anything to him. The only thing i said at dinner last night was why didnt you say to me that you didnt see the girl standing there with her sister when clearly i saw that you did....he said he got annoyed cause i kept asking him the same question over and over why he didnt say hi to her...he said theres nothing there to read into do why am i reading into it. He dont care...he asked why do i need to point her out. I said did something happen, did you 2 get into argument at work and he said no. He says im being ridiculous...and he said something else i cant remember but am i making an issue out of absolutely nothing. i got mad because he pretended he didnt see her when he told me that he did afterwards.....im being ridiculous huh?

[rcoreyus]

Well, consider. You probably would have felt jealous if he had talked to her. You feel worried if he doesn't. I think you need to try to trust him - constant suspicion will just drive him away.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

He probably didn't say hello to her because you've proven that you're insanely jealous and never let anything go, so he opted for the path of least resistance. I'm suprised he can even say two words to you for fear of you reading something into it and getting on his back about it.

If you can't get over your trust issues and completely domineering behaviour you will never have a lasting relationship, or you will be in one with a man that doens't like you.

[blonde3737]

hey anony-- i must be doing something right because we have been together for 5 years with only 3 month break up period


rcorey-- i dont understand what your little paragraph is trying to say::: this part anyway...Well, consider. You probably would have felt jealous if he had talked to her. You feel worried if he doesn't


i wouldnt of cared at all if he said hello to her because we both have known her forever. he works with her but the fact that he told me a fib saying he didnt see her but then said he saw her...i just found annoying

[blonde3737]

anonywh- YOU HAVE HELPED ME A LOT aside from how firm you are but i am doing a lot better putting trust in him as i should after being with him so long