[CHANDLERS WISH]

blonde3737
You said at the beginning "he's the thing" whats that mean lol and also.

Spelling error. Here's the thing..... lol.

Little young lady.....

What page are we on now? Have a look...

So that's 61 pages going for 62, of the same question, getting the same answers, and yet your last one, heaven forbid hehehe, agreeing with the other two posters you remember absolutely every word about your conversation to a "tee" and have written it down....

Nothing else to add.

Don't care if she lived in his shoe.

Get over it.

He loves you end of story and is soooo patient and loving, give it back to him and get rid of this silly, silly obsession with this woman, who cares, she ain't getting him.

If he wanted her, he would have been with her the past two years, not you.

Now do you get it?

He's with you...

Time to let go of this woman and situation and move on..

No butts, butts, butts, there are none. He's with you.

(Smile).

CW

[maz33]

This is why

HERES AN UPDATE::: my boyfriend got more money offered back at the job where he used to work with the woman he had the one night stand with.....he has been working there for 4 days now and i feel totally uncomfortble. Family and friends tell me that i i need to trust him...so im trying. Apparently, the woman got fired because they used to work together in the store and she got fired before he returned back to that store due to it offering him more money. Heres the deal, on his 3rd day....she came into work because she lives righ tnext to the store and i guess she was shopping. My bf was walking around the corner, saw her and then took a sharp left to try and leave the store but she yelled out his nameee so he had to turn around. He told me he gave her a half-heartly hug and talked for a minute. They talked about why he was back at the store, did he like old place and they talked about a guy friend of theirs who is now in jail. I was ****ed and below i will show you the conversation. All of the bold is me talking and the rest is him talking. If you dont already know about my problem with this woman, read back to the first page. Here is the conversation


hii...
he said hello...whats up
i said nothing but sounded upset so he said whats the matter and i told him

i said i was ****ed off- he said ok. When he saw her-- didn’t act
wasn’t long conversation all…he was just being nice. that’s it .i said Did you need to give her hug--she hugged him. He was just being nice. And then as walking away…nice to see you. He said which he told me he said it to be nice. What do you need to be so nice for--don’t read into it.-he said
If she wants to shop there, who is he to say
He doesn’t control her shopping habits.
She said she loves you is what i stressed to him from her saying she loves him before
It doesn’t matter cause he said he loves me
He said hunnie if you have nothing to worry about
U worried about me doing sumthing and I said I don’t know what im worried about--
i said Im worried about the whole situation-- hunnie absolutely nothing to worry about
Hes sorry I don’t like it.

he said :Hunnie you have to deal with it. Nothing to worry about. You Really have absolutely nothing to worry about. With anybody. Have I ever done anything before he asked me. You have nothing to worry about in the future…
i said ...Its with this woman I don’t feel comfortable…hes sorry I don’t like her
He doesn’t care for her either way.that’s where hes working
She might of asked if he liked it in old store or here…she told him about their friend who went away to jail, court date, nice to see you he said. Bye she said. He doesn’t think she said it back

i said that I just don’t like this situation at all that’s it….he said-=.well hunnie u have to deal with it please…
i said to him----If anything is said….with her saying stuff to you about you to someone else hunnie, you better say sumthing…and im saying that cause ill say something.
Hunnie you need to stop it.-he said
He wants me to worry about it ****i have no idea why i wrote that**** i think i meant doesnt want me to worry about it

i mentioned how he had a one night history with her…are you gonna intervene--and say something--what do you mean-he said and i said....the night you had. Why would she talk about you and I? He said why would she?== she wants to know if your with someone--maybe??- hunnie you have nothing to worry about-- no don’t worry about it.-- meaning him talking about him and I’s relationship

Hunnie you need to stop. Hes being nice and generous.--he said

i brought up how she is a 40 yr old who had sex with you and the next day said she loved you. She told your friend that
Scenario that its in. I don’t care about it and dont like it--this was me also

Hunnie we weren’t together when this happened.i said doesnt matter He said it matters, you should care.
Am I with you now? He said yeah. I said am I with you now does matter
Stop. You have nothing to worry about….nothing is going to happen, nothing to worry about so stop..


- this situation is uncomfortable for me--me speaking


Did he say don’t talk to the kid i talked to when i did
even if i did, he wouldnt have nothing, he wouldnt hold against him

this is all me ----Having sex with someone is different
Went out the door like nothing after you waited 3 years for you and i to have sex
It bothers me

this is his response ---Doesn’t matter what he did what we did , we weren’t together

I said it does matter
Same area that all this went down--same area refering to his job and her house in the area..
Soo he said don’t worry about. Nothings going on. Nothings going on, nothings gonna happen
Ok? I said no.

I have attitude problem he said-- I said how..im speaking with attitude. He doesn’t appreciate it. I shouldn’t be upset. He knows me but I shouldn’t be upset.

I don’t like that you 2 talked.
Yes i feel he did something wrong.
Could you of avoided her and you talking is what i asked... he said- he tried to avoid talking to her….he went down aisle so she wouldn’t see him. He didn’t feel like talking to her..
Trying to be nice talking to her-- he was trying to avoid the situation to see her. He said yeah---
How was it when you saw her--were you happy to see her?--what did I say.-he said. He tried to avoiding and said nice seeing you trying to be nice


Why did you call me earlier- he wanted to talk to me, why else would he call
I said hmmm

He doesn’t have anything else to say right now.

I have attitude cause I don’t like situation- you have to understand
He said I have to deal with it
Why do I have to deal with it--that’s where im working so you have to deal with it.

Why did you want to avoid her in the first place--i asked
He didn’t feel like saying hi to her I said why not - he didn’t want to

Were you afraid you might think about that night-- he didn’t want to see her.
No he just didn’t want to see her.


He has nothing against him

He doesn’t know why----,,,,I DONT KNOW WHAT I WROTE THIS--
It happened when we weren’t together- I shouldn’t be worried about it.

If I had sex with someone - if I talked to them-- more than I talked to you and still talking to them would you be upset..answer me its not funny---that was me talking
Go to work see me or there coming to get something--refering to if someone i had sex with came into my work and such
this is his response----It happened when we weren’t together-- he wouldn’t be upset as long as I didn’t talk to them more than he talked to me--refering to me talking to the person i would of had sex with more than i talked to my bf if that was the situation even though it wasnt

he said .....I need to just.---let it pass, not think about it, not worry about it-- he said. he then said yup justifying that

As long as your working their, itll prob bother me--i said....then he said- he cant help me with that. I said no I know. He said Im just gonna have to deal with it.’

Huh he said and i responded with what???
U gonna say anything-?? I said anything
he said dont be sarcastic
Im upset over nothing is why he is angry or upset, its ridiculous.
My feelings are ridiculous???- he said being upset about this is ridiculous I said k

Ive been aggravated the whole time-- tone- when aggravated- --this is me saying that

I didn’t do anything did I-- i asked him- he said im upset about nothing. Attitude towards him. Return his calls. I explained myself.

Hunnie, he wants to get off the phone---him

Hes not quitting and going to another store so deal with it…..ok
I hung up. After saying thanks.--this is him then i said ok and thanks, and hung up


Your wicked mean. you end it by saying that….--me talking
Hunnie..him and I -- have mostly have to deal with it. Mostly me. He doesn’t have an issue.
He said want me to sugarcoat i said you don’t have to be mean about it he said ok., its not being mean about it. Well then we agree to disagrree-- hes not being mean about it.

He said ok?
I said not just ok.
I said I don’t know. He said hunnie if you have to know. I said I don’t know. He said what? I just don’t know….he didn’t want to talk to her…he didn’t ask questions. He might of said something about his friend in jail but doesn’t remember..

So your not going to say something to her if I feel uncomfortable.
Hunnie your gonna feel uncomfortable no matter what
So is that a no-hunnie don’t worry about it.
don’t worry about the situation

don’t worry about you not saying anything--don’t worry about whole situation entirely.


You don’t feel weird when you saw her-- he would rather not see her at all. He doesn’t want to see her or talk to her. It was weird.he doesnt want to deal with her

Shut off-he said hunnie ive been biting my tongue this whole time………

He would rather not see her what the cant you understand that.,

K goodbye i said

He hung up

he called me back------
What? Hes sorry he exploded?
I said ok. Hes getting frustrated. Im just gonna shut off. He doesn’t want me too.
He doesn’t want me to shut off. that’s why hes listening to me. that’s why he lets me say anything I want. Hes trying to be there for me and help me through it.,….again and again and again.


Maybe you don’t want to be attracted to her--hes not attracted to her. he said No feelings for her. doesn’t want to see her.

Ok . He said you hear me. I don’t want to see her. all

Ok, im just not gonna say nothing. He wants me to express how I feel.
Im not trying to make him feel bad. he said well i was doing a good job.

Its frustrating when I ask same questions over and over..they don’t satisfy so he asks again again and again

I said uh huh. Ok. I hear you .

Im not gonna say nothing..

Its me asking same question over and over again understand that please.. Its not when I ask any question. Its certain question again and again and again. that’s what it is..

U hear me. He doesn’t want me to shut down, he is gonna say what he wants cause he wants me to say what I want

He gets real frustrated when I say over and over and over…so his frusteration gets out louder and louder..

K hunnie
I said uh huh

I love you, I want you to know that k.
I said uh huh

k. I said .

Ill tty tomorrow. Love you. Goodbye.
Nothing is a matter

Im just gonna change the way I do things…he said no.
Itll work out better-hes not saying for me to do that

If I don’t say anything itll make it better--this is me and then-he said about what- I said anything. He said no that’s not the answer..

he did say seeing her was weird

Well ill let you go cause your frusterated too..
He said k

K love you I said
He said k love you too


he called me back at 1115
he said hi hunnie.
Hi hunnie whats the matter.
This whole situation
im not going to talk About it anymore. I cant talk about it to you. He said yes you can

It was just 1 night right-he said yeah that’s it
He told me everything that happened. Ok- I said ok

cats bday tommorow
He called to let me know he loved me
cheer up he said and i said
Maybe later--

Love u. I said love you too

I'm sorry blonde, no-one is laughing at you. We appreciate that you're asking for help but this amazingly long post was why I was asking for strength. It gave me a headache reading it and I couldn't even finish so I can only imagine how your poor boyfriend feels. Please don't take offence. Just drop the whole subject and get on with your lives as a couple. If he wanted someone else he would be with them, not you. But the longer you drag this on, the more likely he is to leave you. I would and have left someone in the past for similar behaviour. It felt like mental torture. Please just stop now and get on with your life x

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I am laughing at you though. You have to laugh or you'll cry.

[miffed23]

I'm sorry blonde, no-one is laughing at you. We appreciate that you're asking for help but this amazingly long post was why I was asking for strength. It gave me a headache reading it and I couldn't even finish so I can only imagine how your poor boyfriend feels. Please don't take offence. Just drop the whole subject and get on with your lives as a couple. If he wanted someone else he would be with them, not you. But the longer you drag this on, the more likely he is to leave you. I would and have left someone in the past for similar behaviour. It felt like mental torture. Please just stop now and get on with your life x

Ditto..

Its not really a situation though is it? Having close friends dying on you is a situation.... loosing your legs is a situation... Please get over it, drop it...

[blonde3737]

anony- thats not so nice....why would i want to cry? besides if i get frusterated about this.

[maz33]

I am laughing at you though. You have to laugh or you'll cry.

Well yeah, honesty is the best policy usually, with some people...other times it just drags a situation in a different direction but still on and on... and on... and on ...and on... and on... and on...you get what I'm saying. I know it's not nice to say but I think I would have cried if I'd been forced to read the whole of every post... sorry blonde x

[Uneeklyme]

Holy ! Seriously?
What a relationship for the three of you...you, him and your obsessive, inconsiderate, selfish, insecure, overly dramatic, jealous, childish, psychotic, compulsive, gullible, nieve, anal retentive, not the brightest bulb in the box personality.

If this is for real, you really need to speak to a shrink and get on something before you pop a vein or find a tower to snipe hunt from or worse, your poor boyfriend does. Insane situation.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Uneeklyme
and your obsessive, inconsiderate, selfish, insecure, overly dramatic, jealous, childish, psychotic, compulsive, gullible, nieve, anal retentive, not the brightest bulb in the box personality.

Of the subject, can i use this line on the next man that peeves me of please? haha.

Um, laughing is the best medicine blonde3737, that's what you should be doing now, laugh at it all, go on... HAHAHAHA..... she can't have him HAHAHAHA,

[Uneeklyme]

Of the subject, can i use this line on the next man that peeves me of please? haha.

Heh. Feel free.

[blonde3737]

chandler, you said if he wanted her he would of been with her past 2 years.....haha where did you get 2 years...him and i have been together for almost 5 with a 3 month breakup over that period..

im gonna try and just get over it but sometimes when you have a insecurity, its hard to get rid of. Some people on this site have been so helpful including yourself even with my repetitive questions....however, its really nice to be able to hear other women speak and tell me how it is or what the deal is...

i just hate how he works across the street again at his old job, across from where she lives, she has come in a couple times in the first week he has been there, and they had that 2 min encounter, asking him why hes back in that store, and again they talked about their friend who was in prison, and he said he gave her half-hearted hug. Its nice that he is so honest and now he still tells me if they say anything or if she comes in the store and i didnt even ask for that..

i have an issue and i need to get over it, which i keep telling myself and getting advice from people does help...even though you probably dont think so, it is helping...

i am not insecure about any other person, just that one woman because something happened with them when we werent together like you read on page 1.....but im not a jealous about other people and i havent been driving him crazy with questions...

him and I are actually going on vacation next month, a nice romantic getaway