[Joy]

Hey Searching CW and Wild Child (WC) lol have brillant insight and wisdom You are not alone.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey Joy, don't ever underestimate your own abilities of contributions to other people.

You have soul, you have an understanding of how to work with things/people and you have ambition to do so and strive to do so.


So hey Searching, Joy give much hope to those in need, as others may give insight to experience, knowledge...

Crossroads are like " CROSS WORDS" you keep working at them until you get every one right, and are happy with the end result, win the lotto , or else you get half way through and feel that it's not worth continuing, that game, and move on to another.

CW

[miffed23]

Wow...it seems like we are all going through the same thing in a way. Its nice to have others around to help us grow!

Amen to that.

Joy - your original post was full of hidden answers, i got the distinct impression that you know exactly what is best for you and also for him. You are very level headed in your approach. All that is left for me to say is good luck in your decisions.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Joy and CW a lot of your stories are like reading parts of my life. As a child I was constantly told I could never do enough, share enough, or be good enough. I carried that into my adult life, like a torch. Growth is a process, sometimes it ebbs and flows, it reaches wonderful peaks but then because we are still weak in areas it subsides, hopefully at higher level than it started. Those of us who were raised with abuse have added layers to overcome. Our lack of adequate self preservation responses make us magnets for abusive personalities and we have to work extra hard at recognizing our value.

The cycle can be broken. I've had people tell me it can't but I know they are wrong. Joy, I do think Mama Gena has the right idea. I've been through some stuff you probably wouldn't believe and I always bounce back. My spirits rise, I can't stay down for long.

I think WildChild that we all go through something or somethings in our lives, no matter who we are.

Yes, I agree, abuse, being told your not good enough, childhood will tend to make you look for someone to nurture you, but you accept also, control, as that is what you are used to. But, strong people which I sense you are, and I know I am, and Joy it's evident that you are, do bounce back, do not stay in a bad situation and do walk and learn to be even stronger.

I think that as we mature we get stronger and stronger and do stand our ground..

And, I think that is the difference of those whom remain, in that weak state, can not move, fall into depression, drown and live their lives in misery. We simply keep seeking and searching, moving, remember, but don't let it affect us...

It is our strength and life long lessons that allows us to be who we are, and acknowledge what we want and aim at the sky in all we do.

And, so be it.

CW

[WildChild]

It's about choices. The only person we can control is ourself and sometimes the only thing we can control for ourself is our attitude. We always have the ability to chose to hold our heads up high.

[Joy]

Thank you Miffed because sometimes i think i'm very impulsive and make decisions without thinking them thru so level headed was a nice compliment lol.

I know where i went wrong in this relationship from the beginning. I tunned out at some point because well it was a lot of and lies. My BF had to get down to his core and i had to get to mine as well. He lived in his past alot and well i was looking at the future. I had just finished University.


we started out great friends with lots of laughs.... when we started its been a slow process he lived in ego form alot and so did i. and at one point he beat up my ego lots and well i know i beat on his ego too. When he was being mean and not stroking my ego i wouldn't stroke his.

we are at a point of reversal roles and ya know i don't want to hold him back he has done great things with his job this past year. He has worked very hard and i'm so proud of him.

me its been slow developing this business and i have put a lot of stress on him.


this period of hate has made our relationship stronger in a lot of ways. Its to forgive and move on now. Some of it was the truth of the matter. That is what built up the hate and anger.


i tuned out cause his ego was full of a false self just as mine is.

I just wanted to be honest i have hurt him too. I've acted unintersted and ignored him too. I've placed other priorities in front of him. I have at times treated him just as badly as he has me.

I do know love is harmony, its not jealous and its not a power struggle 24.7.

i beleive this comes with inner peace.


there are vibrations that we are harmonizing i feel the shift the closer we get to the shift its the blows to the ego that tears us apart.

I hope this makes sense.

Thank you all so much

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's about choices. The only person we can control is ourself and sometimes the only thing we can control for ourself is our attitude. We always have the ability to chose to hold our heads up high.

Well said.

But, sometimes you have to go through the things that have happened in life to come to that realisation, even if you did so at an early age, as for holding our heads up high, I've been doing that all my life, I understand that.

CW

[miffed23]

I just wanted to be honest i have hurt him too. I've acted unintersted and ignored him too. I've placed other priorities in front of him. I have at times treated him just as badly as he has me.

I do know love is harmony, its not jealous and its not a power struggle 24.7.

i beleive this comes with inner peace.

Is it fair to say that you two are just not suited.. you dont compliment each other?

Heres a suggestion, look at your relationship as a learning curve, a small 'mistake' that needed to be fulfilled to help you both realise what you want. Its sad, because you obviously care for him, love him... but as i see it, youre holding each other back.. as if you cant grow in each others company.

Inner peace is a huge factor, youre correct... but would you have known what your state of inner peace is without taking the path that you have taken? Does that make sense? Kinda bordering on fate?

Youre young, 'level-headed' and intelligent. 'Find' yourself... which may seem a little daunting at first...

Good luck, keep smiling

[thack]

I hope you can find what it is you are looking for, your name alone is something we are all striving for in life, and you deserve it, I know what you mean about changing to help someone else out, its not very fair, to anyone, took me a while to realize that.

SO, with that being said, I am tankful for your words in my thread, and I will pray for you to find what it is you need to fill your life with . . . Joy.

[Joy]

Hey Thack,

My life is full of Joy I have so much to be thankful for. My source of happiness comes from with in and there is nothing external that can bring me any more happiness. I have a lot of opprotunies just waiting to be opened up and explored.

Since my first thread i've been doing a lot of work on myself. I have been shedding usless garbage that no longer applies. Limiting thoughts are the only thing that hold us back from getting what we want out of life.

At the moment its hard to even describe what is manifesting in our lives. It is so transitional that maybe in time i can. I know that i must leave it alone and let it unfold naturally and in its own time.

I'll keep ya posted