[starvingforsex]

sweetie....I've been with my husband 5 years and i am lucky to get it 5 times in a year!!!! when we were newlyweds we still didn't have sex often, and I had to initiate it. his self image is very poor and that's a lot of the problem. Is your man having a a self image problem maybe? What's normal? Only 10% of the pop. is "so called" normal. If you are having issues with your sex life ......talk to him about it. Talk Talk Talk....get it out!!!!

[cassie66]

well i guess im classed as a newly wed got married on aug.

we dont do it as often as id like. i have a very high sex drive, and if i hadmy way it would be 5 times aday! my new hubby is never in the mood these days, and is always tired, so i guess twice a week.

[KatieMill]

This helps to hear some other women say their husbands have little to no drive...I'm going on 9 1/2 years...of a completely faithful husband with no drive. It isn't his testosterone levels because we've had them checked. It is psychological...and it hurts. I know in many situations...it is a sign that something else is happening...but that for certain is not the case here. It is so demeaning to me....I have blamed myself for years...and I'm just starting to realize that it's a problem in his head...and one he is going to have deal with....I can't fix this for him. I've tried everything.

[elsa_niloo]

Katie, I hear you and there is no reason to blame yourself. Believe me, i did it for months and all it did to me was leave me depressed and confused.
So i talked to him, which didn't work. I left him, which didn't work. Took him to counselling, which didn't work and at last sat down and told him that i am really not joking and our marriage sucks and that he has to get some help.

It seemed like he really wanted to work it out and went to see a doctor and he was physically all right, so i tried to understand him better.
I told him about all the benefits of having a healthy sex life and being with your partner. and found out what bothers him. I am glad to say we have sex at least once a day during weekdays and twice during weekends.

I think the case with your man is that he has poor body image. He probably does not feel good enough for you and does not think of himself as a sex creature. What you can do is bring a big mirror into the bedroom and left him watch himself while giving him compliments about how much he turns you on and what a sex animal he is.
That will boost his confidence alot and you will have a much happier sex life.

best wishes to you

[mymirrose]

Wondering "Is it me"????

I was looking for some feed-back, I am a 42 year old woman who did not have any relationships for 7 years and I didn't even miss sex. Now, I have a fiance who only wants it 2 or 3 times a week, but I feel like I need it everyday. I have explained this to him and he does try, but is this normal for a woman my age? I was just wondering.

[JLockhart]

My girlfriend and I have sex 2 - 3 times per week, although we don't live together, and each of us has a child from previous marriages so we usually only have 3 - 4 nights together each week. But is does seem like if we are together more often we still don't have sex that much more often, unless we are on vacation or have lots of free time.

We seem to be very well matched with our sex drives, and unless we are worn out or too busy we usually will make love when we are together. There are occasions where she wants it and I don't (or she wants a round 2 which I can't do right away), so I will give her what we call a "special massage" to satisfy her. And she will sometimes do the same for me. It's nice for variety, and it shows that you want to give your partner pleasure even when you don't have the same physical desire as they do at that moment.

[cassie66]

im 42 and consider myself to have a normal sex drive i could def do it several times a day. shamemy hubby isnever is the mood lately

[ShadowKissed]

New Army Wife

I met my husband when i was 17. We dated on and off for 2 years and we have now been together for 3 full years. I am now 21 and he is 22. We got married Feb 3rd 08. on the 19th he left for basic training and ait. we moved in together Oct. 15th. Being as we were away from one another so long i figured our sex life would be great and or pick up where it left off. Instead, we have sex maybe 2 or 3 times a month. We dont even "play" when we are not having sex. And 9 times out of 10 im the one that will initiate wanting to go to the bedroom. But everything else in our relationship is normal, if not better. My friends who i talk about this with (guys and girls) find that our relationship roles seem to be reversed. And even though our one year anniversary is coming up in a few weeks i feel since he was gone for the first 8 months of our marriage and we are finally on our own in our own place (lived with my minister grandfather a year before we married, had to sleep in seperate rooms, very little sex) our sex life should be at least 2 or 3 times a week. we have talked about this over and over and i always get the same answer. "i didn't realize i was upsetting you. it will change" and thats where the 2 or 3 times a month of sex comes in. It usually happens in one week. then it goes back to the way it was before. what i want to know is, should my husband and i consider talking with a therapist? Or if anyone else had this problem the first year of their marriage could you tell me if things got better?

[bigbee]

We have been married 12 years and now it is once amonth or sometimes once every 2 months, and no, I DO NOT LIKE IT! I need more, more, more!

[cassie66]

yeah i know how you feel not sure what we can all do though. the more i pressure my hubby, the less im likely to get it you cant win