[ziggy39]

Thanks for the advice. I have/do try to show affection without expecting sex, but I still am told that we're not having sex. When I say "I know", my motives are still questioned. I'm finding that the more I try, the more frustrated I get. I think the part that upsets me more than anything, is the fact that she NEVER initiates sex. It's ALWAYS me. When she says yes it's usually "well OK" or "I have to go shower because YOU want sex". Sometimes I think she could go months without it. She is a sex camel.

[rhonda1967]

I am sorry but your wife sounds like a real . I hear so many stories like yours and I am no expert but she seems to have a real bad attitude toward you. Did you have an affair or something? I would never treat my man that way. We have 2 teenagers and we have both always made sure our kids did not take away from what first attracted us to eachother. I don't always feel like it but if he wants it he gets it. He said I was born with all he needs or wants and it is free. I have kept it that way. I know we could both have other people but we are all we want. If I am having a bad day with the kids he makes sure I get a break. With her attitude she probably would get mad if you suggested seeing a doctor? It could be medical. Maybe you could just act like you are not interested and let her wonder what you have been up to. She diffenately needs help. I feel sorry for you and other men in that situation.

[rcoreyus]

Rhonda, unfortunately there are a lot of people (of both genders) like ziggy's wife. They just have no interest in sex - and there is nothing their partners can do.

[rhonda1967]

I totally agree. When I go to the beauty shop I hear the way women talk down about their husbands and it kinda makes me mad. Some women think just because she has that special piece of equipment they can dole it out as they please. Then they wonder why their husband had an affair. My husband and I have always just enjoyed doing different things to surprize the other. My husband dresses western and he has the cutest little butt in his tight wranglers. It does drive me nutts. Anyway for valentines day when he came home I met him at the door with a white cowboy hat, an open vest, a pair of shaps with only my thong bikini panties. When he came in I said" I want to save a horse today, and ride a cowboy" He loved that. He kinda tipped his hat and said" well, maam, I sure hope I'll do". We do stuff like that all the time. I love being a nurse.
Love is supposed to be the ultimate happiness. People get lost in life and raising their kids and push eachother aside, far to often. It would really hurt me if my man treated me the way some of these do. I know it is the same for some men to. Some are pigs. Lucky me. I got a real man, and I am going to be all he ever needs, and love it.

[rcoreyus]

Rhonda - your husband is a lucky man!

You bring up a really good point though - people should enjoy being with their spouses. It should be fun! So often people seem to view their spouse as the "enemy", someone to be watched and suspected, and sex is a sort of trade good - I'll only do it if he/she does something for me.

[ziggy39]

I also agree, Rhonda's husband is a VERY lucky guy. I don't ever remember my wife doing anything close to what Rhonda did on Valentine's Day. Truth be told, I would just be happy if my wife simply initiated sex.
I don't want to seem like I'm bashing my wife, because I'm not. I love my wife very much. I would just like to recharge our sex live, but she doesn't seem too interested in changing things. She seems perfectly content to have sex once a month if and when she feels like it.

[Guest]

hi elsa
i was reading your first post and a couple more after and i think that if you talk to guys about "i want/need sex" ALL the time. it kinda makes them not want to do it. its like nagging. im NOT saying you are but i've been in somewhat of a situation similar to yours. and it can take the romance out of sex if you are constantly being asked about sex.

that's just my opinion/experience from that.

[rhonda1967]

We have just always had fun together. Roll playing has just been alot of excitement for us. I even have this little indian princess outfit that is actually a negli with no panties and we play cowboys and indians. He really gets off on playing the doctor!! It keeps life exciting. I can't believe how many guys are on here. I hope your wives tune in. Maybe they will see what fun they could be having.

[rhonda1967]

HI PEOPLE. I AM RHONDA'S LUCKY HUSBAND. She is pretty bold to share this stuff to strangers but she has never been bashful. I noticed this is a pretty hot topic. Over 4000 hits. After reading some of these I can see, we are both very lucky or more in love than most. I am curious as to how often you men or women did it when you first got together. Did this just taper off gradually or immediately. It would be great if it was mutual but as is obvious it is far from it. How do you deal with it? How do you remain faithful? That has got to be such a downer and stress must be thru the roof. I believe lust for your mate fits like a glove with love for your mate. Gosh I feel bad that Rhonda shared how good we have it. Is good sex that strange in marriages? What holds you together, besides the kids?

[Steph33]

We're together a couple months over 3 years. Unless one of us is ill, we play in some way pretty much daily. My guy enjoys just giving me oral till I get off without anything for himself. To me that counts. During my "monthly time" I have several ways to get him off if he's hungry. Our actual intercourse average is about 5 of 7 days, weekend days are a couple times in a day (he does briefly nap between as most men do). I'm 33 and he's 44.