[luvhurts09]

Hello eveyone I am soo happy that I found this forum...me and my husband have been togther for 10 years but married for 7 years we have 2 kids boy and girl,our realtionship has been rocky ever since the birth of my daughter last year in april he was ready to leave but then we said that we would work things out 4 months after my daugter was born I found out that I was pregnant again to me that was wonderful becuase kids are blessings from GOD,but to him it was the most horrible thing that could have happened to him,he was so nasty and igrnorant to me and forced me to get an abortion it broke my mind body and soul to have done that and I have so much anger towards him because of that so our relationship kept having it up and down that happened last year in oct,so yeaterday some ol flusy called me to let me know that she was 6 months pregnant with his baby,I'm so lost my heart hurts soo bad I feel like I lost myself I asked him about it and he didnt deny it he said that he gave her the money for the abortion and she said that she had ir done but she really didnt....he said that he deos not want to lose his family and that when that baby is born he is gonna sign his rights over cuz he wants nothing to do with them......sorry that this so long but if anyone out has some advice for I would really appreciate beacuse right now breathing hurts......

[WildChild]

Don't know what to say. This is heartbreaking but only you can decide if it's worth saving the relationship.
As for signing over his rights, that probably won't get him out of paying support if that is what he is thinking. Do you think you can ever trust him? Can you rebuild your love? Is it worth staying in an emotionally dead or painful relationship? Only you can decide.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So glad you joined us.

That is heartbreaking.... Marriage is about loyalty but also children are a joint decision, not his choice to say get an abortion, without communication and discussion and a joint decision.

Such as, "hun we have two children, our finances are not good, we can't afford a third, don't you think we should consider all of this way all of this up and perhaps consider abortion quickly before it grows".......

But it seemed like, he was already having an affair with this girl as to why he said, get an abortion.

October to February is 4 months.... I appreciate it's March but only just and you don't state when in October... So he may have asked both of you at that point in time....

Caught up with two women, one his wife, the other his mistress..... Both pregnant...

I suspect that this is why he told you to as he told her to.

I am not impressed either with her telling you... Rather she should have told him, you tell her or I will.

But, maybe she is upset herself, that he told her to and she ignored him, and he maybe has left her and so she's angry.

This is not just a case of him, not communicating and being a husband but also a player, with no concern getting all pregnant, not using condoms, I won't go into STD's..... Selfish and non-concerning pertaining to anyones feelings.

I agree with WC, giving up rights = no child support payments so again, he is saying well "you can't beat me woman" you did the dirty on me, kept it, you get nothing.

What sort of person is this man?

Only you know.

CW

[Joy]

I'm happy you found this site as well. My heart goes out to you and your situation. You have a lot of hard choices to make and a lot of healing to do. I think at this point you have to work on healing these open wounds in order to make the right choices for you and your family.

Can you forgive and move forward some day?

[Guest]

i would get tested.obviously this guy has no idea how to use a condom.

[kms]

I wonder how long this has been going on with the other woman... or how many other women there are/have been... since it seems that you had no idea until she called you out of the blue, pregnant no less!

[Love]

Hi

I feel you pain because I have been through the same situation. My husband of 10 years also cheated on me we only had 3 kids at the time and when he did it I was pregnant with my 3rd child. His excuse was that he didn't think he would get caught because he was overseas. He didn't tell me I found out from someone else and I called the woman and she told me to ask my husband well my husband lied till he was blue in the face. I packed my stuff and was going to leave him but the minister asked me to stay because he was going overseas. I agreed but I was so heartbroken I don't think that I ever felt pain like that in my life. So eventually he came home and to me it really isn't the same because the trust is gone and truth be told if we didn't have kids even thou I love him I would have left. And to make matters worse she sends pictures of the child to his phone like they are married. I really don't know what to tell you because some days I think I can do it then other days I just want to pack my things and leave. And to tell you the truth she is not going to go away even if he signs papers. You just hang in there and really think about what you want to because it is a very very hard decision.

[mewhenim]

I'm so sorry for you. I'm only now just getting to where I don't hate my husbands girlfriend and her kids. Obviously we are no longer together, but eventually the pain ends. It feels like it never will, and I still think about him every day, but I'm getting closer to thinking about him, but not caring when I think about him any more than I care if I think about breakfast. I really do wish you the best, but only you can decide what to do. That trust will be hard to regain, you will think about it every time he doesn't answer the phone, and if she took the money and didn't get the abortion, I'm sure she will continue to be trouble. Leave him to clean up his own mess is what I would and am doing (I figure when my husband's girlfriends husband gets out of prison(!) they can all fight together and I'll be happy to stay clear of the mess). Best of luck and my heart goes out to you.

[Guest]

if it was so easy to give up his rights,alot more men would be doing it to escape.its up to the mother i believe,if there is another man who is willing to take paternity on and be the father,then yes,the birth father can sign rights up.but if the mother decides to keep the baby.. the dad can spit and sputter until he turns blue...he has to pay. thats the way it is.i dont get why women claw each other to ribbons over a dude who is a NO GOOD LIAR AND CHEAT! common sense ladies,if he will cheat with you..he will cheat on you!

[Love]

Did she say he cheated on her? I didn't see that part but it is her decision and what ever you choose to do don't let anyone make you feel bad about it because you are the one who has to live with your decision. No one can know how you feel until they have walked in your shoes.