[Autumnbinature]

First off nobody can force you to have an abortion its your decision you need to own that. Sounds like mabe he isnt worth having around especially if he is willing to give up his children with this woman. It would be wrong for him to do that or for you to expect him to. We all have hard times and if the partner is worth it we work it out but we also have to know when to let go. dont let your kids see you in a terrible relationship or they too are at risk of emotional abuse when they grow up and have partners.

[mrs B]

Adultery and abandonment 2 reason for divorce . Its your choice but i know i couldnt deal with a baby that came after my marriage. Hes wrong for that

[Love]

Well my opinion is that it is her choice if you think you can deal with it that is up to you. Sometimes peoples opinions can make you seem foolish but it is all up to you. If you think your husband made a mistake and you still want to be with him it is up to you. If you think that you can't deal with it and you want to leave it is up to you. But I will say this if you do stay you make the ground rules and he live by your rules not vice versa. And if you have people telling you that you are unfair for not wanting that child in your home bump them that is your home and you have to feel comfortable and if having that child in your home makes you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. But it all boils down to it is your decision.

[bairn]

Adultery and abandonment 2 reason for divorce . Its your choice but i know i couldnt deal with a baby that came after my marriage. Hes wrong for that

mrs b. i know exactly how you feel. i am sticking by my partner until our solicitor has got dna to find out who the father of this other kid is. its not easy.i just hope things work out in our favour. if not i dont know what i will do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

bairn...

welcome.

Well I guess you won't know until..

Who insticated the Solicitor you or him? Out of curiousity...

Shirt happens so do mistakes pends on what else you have that you think is well worth while keeping, or really not much.

We are here if you need thoughts.

Take care.

CW

[WildChild]

Hi Bairn, Hoping you get a good answer soon.

[happy ending]

just remember what ever else happens - its not the childs fault. I feel a bit sorry for the child in all this.

[Arda]

So sad that this thing happens..not only to you but to most women out there. But you have to face reality and be strong for your children. Getting hurt is life's way of making you a stronger person but it doesn't mean that you need to take all the pains. Nobody in this world could ever decide for you, but yourself... no matter how long my responses here would be. You decide now before the pain get to your kids. It's all up to you. Ask yourself now, "Can I bear all the pains I’m going through now?" If yes, how long? Choose between loosing your husband and yourself... if you can live without him, I would say it's better you let go of him. If you cannot stand loosing him, then I would say accept the pain and be prepared for more pains, unless he really meant to change for you and the kids. With all the marriage problems I have been encountering, I would always say, couples who pray and go to church together surpass trials easier. Keep in mind that it is a sin to kill and abortion is a form of killing. So I hope you won’t consider abortion in the future. Pray harder, nothing is better than the divine intervention on your marriage now. God has always plans for you. God bless you!

[HALFNOTHING]

First of all, you have to consider your husband's side too. what if he's really telling the truth that he's not his fault at all.. it hard to admit that sometime we can see girls are the one chasing men to burst on their top; acting like awful; that they need helps. their one way of teasing men. sometimes, we could see heartily men that feel pity and found himself fall to the trap. hahaha.. I met a girl like that. she's fun of breaking relationship..

you have to investigate the truth.. if you found your husband satisfactorily guilty.. well, throw him down the window and open your doors to other single men. after all, God always make things hard to us only to find out that what he given us the most wonderful things we could have.. things happened has a reason..

[bairn]

hi everyone. thanks for all the words you have put on here..
first of all it was me that said that i wanted everything out in the open. and now that it is. he agreed to seeing the solicitor as he wants to save us as much as i do.
the solicitor has wrote a letter to the girl asking her for dna. if she doesnt agree to it then we can draw our own conclusions from that.
what really hurts is the mobile phone he was using behind my back. he was texting this girl on a daily basis. and then he destroyed the sim card infront of me. i went and activated another one to find out what he was up to. the girl has been texting asking when hes coming thru to see her. i keep turning on and off the phone to find out if she has text again to say she has the letter from the solicitor. but as yet. nothing.
i know its not the kids fault. but it kills me to know that he could in fact be my partners other kid. my kids mean the world to me, and my oldest one knows about everything. he is nearly 15. and it has hurt him alot to see me at breaking point.

thanks for everyones kind words. it means alot to speak about things.

xx