[Guest]

Ummm... well, my huband and I have been married for about 6 months. It was great at first, but then we started to argue all the time and he started to feel distant and cold. I have a bad temper and tend to get in his face and scream a lot. Well, we had a reeeeeally bad fight about 4 hours ago. I said some terrible things, pushed him, and he slapped me. Then he left and hasn't come back. He isn't answering his phone. I don't know what to do.

[amom]

What kind of a slap? How hard? Did he bruise you?

What did you argue about? What do you argue about?

How long did you know each other before getting married?

Would you let him continue hitting you? Did you hit him?

[kaylar]

Act One


This is the first Act in the Play
called 'Abused Wife.'

Scene One
Husband slaps wife then goes out.

Scene Two
Comes back late.
Cries.
Apologises.
Never happen again, he promises.

Act Two

Scene One
Another argument.
Wife shouts, husband punches her.
Doesn't go out.
Apologises.
Have make up Sex.

Scene Two

Wife does not prepare meal as husband
desires. Husband throws food, wife shouts,
husband pummels wife.
Tells wife it is her fault.
She made him do it.

Act Three

Scene One

Wife well bruised and beaten telling people
she fell.

Scene Two

Another Beating.
----

The first slap is never the last slap.
Unless the wife moves too far away
to be slapped.

[Guest]

well...

My ex husband slapped me once. One time and one time only. He slapped me so hard that I thought I heard my teeth brake. He was in the military (infantry man) at the time. When he got home from work I had the telephone in one hand and a butcher knife in the other and a well bruised face (seeing as he hit me that morning) and I said, "Every hit me again and I will call your commander. Hit me and hide the phone I'll sleep with a knife. You ever think you will get away with that again, I will cut of your **** in your sleep. Think I am kidding!? Test it!" He never hit me again. I was kinda like you said you are. I use to yell at him and get in his face cause I guess he acted like he wasn't listening. We fought over money and my feelings and friends and so on. Just anything we could fight about we fought about it. Girl, if you love this man, stop fighting. You like to write, start writting when you get mad. Go for a walk, thats what I do. Play with the kids. Do something instead of yelling. The next time he yells, stand there quietly and say "You know, I really think there is a better way to communicate. If you figure it out, let me know!" Walk away until he finds you. Worked for me. Honey, don't ever let a man hit you. If you hit him like a man, expect to be hit like a man. That's what my brothers always use to say. But then you get woman who say a man should never lay their hand on you. If I hit my husband I expect to be hit back. So, do on to others as you would have done to you. If you yell, expect him to yell. If you leave, expect him to leave. Try being the better person for a change and see if he reacts. It might just work!

[Guest]

Oh and the First year is definatly the hardest. You are getting to know each others habbits and living enviroments. Just remeber it gets better. I am on year three and its rockin!

[indecisive]

My opinion is I would never ever put up with that. My dad was abusive to my mom and he slapped her in the face just before they got married and she still married him thinking that it wouldn't happen again and for the next 12 years he made all of our lives hell. He was verbally abusing all of us but didn't physically abuse us and he cheated on my mom several times until she couldn't take it anymore and then he beat her up when she wanted a divorce. These type of men a loose cannons. They have tempers that they can't control and you should be very careful. It is totally up to you if you think it was a one time thing but I think that if he can do it once he will do it again. Good Luck.

[kaylar]

Quarter of a Century


I hate to say this; but in reference to wishforanswers post...

In over 25 years of dealing with domestic violence matters,
this is only the fourth case in which the abuse stopped and
the marriage continued.

In the First, the husband walked into the house, and the
wife knocked him unconscious with a frying pan.

In the Second, the husband woke up to hear his wife
crying, and standing over him with a knife.

In the Third, the wife stabbed the husband in the back
and called the neighbor's to witness it.

I don't know why violence works, but in this case..
if you catch the first time...
there usually isn't a second...
but
it's kind of tricky, don't you think?

[Guest]

In response to the previous; yes I would agree. Kinda tricky. It worked for me but would it work for someone else? Everyone has different personality traits and different things that make them tick, whether positively or negatively. Your husband is obviously much different than my ex. AND YES HE IS AN EX! I caught him in bed with my friend and well... he left in fear of loosing his penis! Anyways, only you will know his reactions. Even then sometimes we don't know. If you think he might do it again, then get out. Run far and fast! But if you think he might actually listen to you, then talk to him. Sit down and talk. No yelling. But, only you know what is best for you. We are just trying to help. By the way, most of these ladies have some wonderful adivce. Listen. I did. It's working!

[indecisive]

Well put wishinforanswers! I agree to listen to what these women are saying because they have helped me tremendously with my husband (even though it is ending in divorce) but I have them to thank for helping me really think through the process and to try and find happiness. Also only you really know your husband and how much you are willing to put up with but do yourself a favor and don't put up with any of his crap!

[Guest]

Thanks ladies. Well, he finally came home several hours later. We talked, made up. He promised never to do it again. But, I am hesitant to believe.