[LanaBear]

Guys don't NEED porn, but we NEED to masturbate.

Um, actually, no you don't NEED to masturbate. If you have a partner ready and willing, you don't NEED to do this. If you have a partner who agrees with you and your sexual interests, fantasies, necessities, etc. then, no, you don't NEED to masturbate.

If you pet a man's ego, it will go a long way toward peeking his interest in sex.

Pet a man's ego? Really?

[Hopeless Dork]

Porn gets a bad rap, but the truth is, it can be a very healthy thing for a man or even a woman. It can help relationships, and it can teach men how to be more proficient lovers.

I just have to interject with a very firm stance that porn is NOT always the best educational tool to teach a man how to be a more proficient lover. Listening to his partner is. What anal annabelle or jizzy juicy may like in the sack may not exactly be what your wife or girlfriend likes.

I think some guys are so clouded with porn goggles that they have rediculous ideas of what makes good sex for a woman. Fact is women are different. What feels good to one may feel annoying to another. I fail to see how watching a 500 man gang bang could in anyway lead to knowlege on making your SO feel good.

I mean its good education for guys that don't know what a vagina looks like... or where to stick there penis... but once that knowledge has been obtained... thats where the education really stops and entertainment starts.

I know some guys get ideas for positions and acts during porn... and I don't discount the value in that, but I think to watch a porn without a grain of salt thinking yeahhhh thats how you work a chick in the bed.. is so naive, and so dillusional.

Many women like wild sex and extreme acts and like it raw and dirty as it is in the porns... I fall somewhere in the middle on that. I don't need chickens and guys in zipper masks to orgasm but I am not an in the dark missionary kind of girl either.

But for guys to look to porn to educate them in sexually pleasing a woman is scary... and probably why so many women come here wondering why they can't seem to orgasm with their partner.

Sex in porn is done for the viewer FIRST, the actors second, if a position is uncomfortable, non sexually pleasing... that is secondary to how good it looks on film. When you are with a partner, assuming no one is watching you are geared more to pleasure than acrobatics and having your legs positioned where the money shot can best be viewed by the masses. Just sayin'.

[Joey]

Love of God, just leave your men alone to watch porn! I'm guna ave to be really frank ere. They want a sexual experience in which you are not involved. Porn is not a substitute for a good sex life or anythin like that - it's a substitute for sleepin with different women whenever they feel like it.

errr.....So saying that porn is a substitute for a guy to sleep with different women is meant to make us feel better? for us to, as you put it, Leave our men alone to watch porn? if this is the case, why on earth would we ever want to leave you alone to watch porn??

[Joey]

Listening to his partner is. What anal annabelle or jizzy juicy may like in the sack may not exactly be what your wife or girlfriend likes.

haha! I agree with this 150%.

[Joey]

Its posts like feminist ben's that make me want to give up on men, and start collecting cats... but then read ones like ocularone's posts and I feel that there are men out there that can love AND be sexually interested in one woman.

I also agree with this 150% aswell! After my post on the whole 'porno' issue going on in my world recently, its people like you and Ocularone that make me feel some what comfortable in the knowledge that not all men are douche bags.
But with thanks to Feminist Ben, i think we are all safe to assume that there are a handfull of men that genuinly are.

[Guest]

I also agree with this 150% aswell! After my post on the whole 'porno' issue going on in my world recently, its people like you and Ocularone that make me feel some what comfortable in the knowledge that not all men are douche bags.
But with thanks to Feminist Ben, i think we are all safe to assume that there are a handfull of men that genuinly are.

Speaking of DB's....there are also people out there who vehemently oppose porn for no apparent reason, but then think nothing of having their own fantasies while using a sex toy.

Actually, those people aren't DB's...they would be hypocritical, right?

[Guest]

Pet a man's ego? Really?

Yea - probably a crude way to put it...but i don't think the idea is out of line.

Simply put- make your significant other feel good.

Kinda like when female posters suggest a man "make his wife/girlfriend feel sexy" so she'll engage in sex more often.

[Hopeless Dork]

Yeah the 'pet a man's ego' wording is cringeworthy... the IDEA behind it.. make the man feel sexy and he'll feel more sexual is very good advice. If a guy doesn't feel like he is very good at pleasing a woman, they have a couple choices.... get in there and try try try OR decide they never will be and some might just resign themselves to porn and masturbation most of the time, fear of failure etc.

Just like a woman who does not feel attractive or good about her body, might be more inclined to feel sexual if her guy was going out of his way to make her feel hot and beautiful.

[LanaBear]

Yea - probably a crude way to put it...but i don't think the idea is out of line.

Simply put- make your significant other feel good.

Kinda like when female posters suggest a man "make his wife/girlfriend feel sexy" so she'll engage in sex more often.

Yeah, it was the wording that got to me, not too mention his whole post.

It's like the other post of not spoiling your man, I just don't get. IMO it shouldn't be one sided, but it is in a lot of relationships.

Plus, I just hate the word ego. And don't think anybody should pet anybody's 'ego'.

[Shelly1]

Trying to heal too

I caught my boyfriend loking (now husband) and that was over a year ago. Me catching him and leaving him had him asking me to marry him. To this day I hurt. I have lost even more self esteem. I am 44 and in good shape but all I see is half naked woman everywhere I look (internet, magazines, tv, etc). I am so over it, but with each thing I see I have a flashback of finding his internet mess. I told him to day that I will heal but it has to be on my time not his. I do try to NOT bring it up too much but I have not let it go. I have gotten a little depressed from this. He has really tried to prove he doesn't do this anymore and is so respectful when someone pops up on TV in a bikini etc he kinda looks away. I keep reading and hearing it is a man thing. Well, I do believe more than not. He said he just did it but it did not mean he didnt love me...He was just looking. All I can do is forgive which I am trying to do between feeling so sad. Help.