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  • Confused11
    Member
    • Apr 2010
    • 21

    Thanks girls You have given me such a boost of courage over the last few days. I've written my letter. Today's the day! Wish me luck x.

    Comment

    • Ashlee T.
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2008
      • 6412

      Good luck!!!! Keep us posted.
      "Be what you're looking for."

      Comment

      • LanaBear
        Veteran Member
        • Jul 2009
        • 8373

        Good luck hun! Let us know how everything goes.

        Comment

        • CHANDLERS WISH
          • Mar 2008
          • 22440

          Sweetheart, remember, it may be a simple thing as " he can't communicate" something that he has a fear himself over...

          I'm proud of you, as we are all, that you have written that letter, that you are going to discuss things and that you are aware, that truth, communication, is a very important key to anyone's present and future.

          Wishing you all the best of luck - but remember, you have opened the door to communication, so you have done what is necessary to constitute a great relationship, listen to what he has to say...

          CW
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment

          • Confused11
            Member
            • Apr 2010
            • 21

            Hi Everyone,
            Well, I did it. I read him my letter and he was silent throughout. I had a cry at the end but remained composed throughout the reading. If he was shocked about me checking his emails he didn't say so, he just kept saying that 'this' meant nothing to him, that I mean everything to him and the rest- the emails, the profiles on gay websites will stop today. That he never intended to hurt me and was really just bi-curious, that he's never been with a man, but did admit to meeting up with one about a month ago but just didn't do anything- left after about 5 mins as 'it didn't feel right'.
            I think I believe him. I want to. I have stressed the importance of an honest, transparent relationship, without secrets, that there will be no second chances now. One indiscretion and I'm out. He seems to accept that and knows he'll have to earn my trust again.

            Comment

            • LanaBear
              Veteran Member
              • Jul 2009
              • 8373

              Do you feel better? How is he? It sounds like it went pretty well and I'm extremely proud of you. You seem like you did really well with it, good for you!

              Keep the communication open, he's got a lot of work to do, but if it was meant to be, it will work out. If it wasn't, it won't. Move at your pace and make sure you continually stress to him how important an open and honest relationship is. Without it, it won't work.

              Good for you hun!

              Comment

              • Confused11
                Member
                • Apr 2010
                • 21

                Thanks Lana,
                I do feel better not carrying so much around on my own now. I do think it went pretty well really. He was apologetic but didn't really see it as such a 'big deal'. I explained that I felt like I'd been cheated on and he appreciates that and promises never to meet, chat with or post profiles again... time will tell I guess. If he'd told me he'd actually been intimate with men I think things would have gone very differently for me. I can't tell you all how appreciative I am of the support and advice you've given me. You are all wonderful. Thank you!

                Comment

                • Ashlee T.
                  Veteran Member
                  • Dec 2008
                  • 6412

                  So glad it went the way you wanted it too sweetie. I'm afraid it's not going to be easy, but hopefully eventually he can prove himself and gain your trust again. Sooo.......on with the wedding?
                  "Be what you're looking for."

                  Comment

                  • Confused11
                    Member
                    • Apr 2010
                    • 21

                    Hi again,
                    we just had a big cry together. I think it really just dawned on him what he had put at risk... I'm pretty sure we'll be able to work through this...

                    Comment

                    • Guest

                      i am glad you two talked and aired stuff out.

                      Even if nothing happened, he still showed up to meet someone.

                      I think you should postpone the wedding. 5 months isn't enough time to work through this. and i do think you two should look to go to counseling.

                      Comment

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