[autummleaf]

Hello girls, I'm 25 years old and I've been married for two years now, my husband is 33 and he's the best husband in the world :responsible,funny,cooks for me,loves me and takes care of me a lot, a lot ..... but since we got married he just asked me for having sex like 4times!!! and I'm the one who is always asking for sex .
I've talked to him and he says that he is always tired and that he's got many bills to pay and that his mind is in other things but sex and that our relationship is so important and out of this world that sex is not so important, i wonder if it's normal? might he be ill?
he always has a reason for not having sex ...
he's too tired , too busy, too relaxed, too hungry, too thirsty....etc etc etc.you know what i mean?? he says that it's got nothing to do with me...it's him! he says ...and although he's good in bed ... 99.9% of the time gives me orgasms ....i don't know why he is not interested in sex since we got married
Regards from chile

[jen0519]

My husband gives me those excuses to!! I am tired!! I am watching this show!! What I do when I really want it is just tackle him!! Don't wait untill you are going to bed. Try buying a porn or a sexy outfit. When he get home just tell him I want it right now! And don't take no for an answer! Do something that you know turns him on. My husband can never refuse oral sex. Pull his pants down in the kitchen (or wherever). Trust me, he will get in the mood. Then pull him to the bedroom and have your way with him! If he still refuses then tell him that even though he says its not you it still makes you feel not good enough for him or something. I told my husband "Im just not a once-a-week type a girl". Try new things. If you are comfortable with it, try a threesome. You have to be very secure in your relationship. It has to be more your decision than his. Be careful of this because it can make your sex life 10 times better or ruin it completley. But when we did it, it made our bedroom life so much better. He just looked at me in a different way.

[commonsense]

no sex, she's worried

Before you run to Victoria Secret, you need to determine if you husband is downlow gay. A lot of men get married for political reasons but they really desire and have a man on the side. I have seen men (married) sneaking together at parks that are frequeted by gay men. Real Men love sex. That's all they think about. I'm sure he loves you in a "sisterly" kind of way. The way to really find out is to have a detective spy on him on times you think he's missing in action. Ohterwise, just spice it up and ask him if there's anything you can do to please him. I hope this works out for you you seem like a really nice person.

[autummleaf]

thanks commonsense! but i will have serious doubts about the gay thing since he was so crazy about sex when we were dating...we had sex almost everyday,he even made a very sexual video for me when we were living in different countries, asked me for sex through the web cam, took me pictures where I'm naked ......and he has made many romantic things in order to get my love..for instance, we used to live in different countries and i split up with him because he couldn't accept that i had had sex with other man (jealous??) the next day he was knocking at my door saying sorry! he had taken a plane, left everything just for getting me back!! he really fought for my love.... if he was gay he wouldn't have done that! would he?
well...he's abroad now...and I'm gonna buy a sexy outfit as JEN (above) said and tried all the tips she gave me...then I'll tell you girls if this worked out
thanks again
Pd i live in a country where women do not talk about this topic since they're very narrow minded so..this is the only way i can get advices

[kaylar]

As soon as I read the opening post, my thoughts
were exactly where Commonsense's are.

Gay men may, for political/social reasons play
straight,and be able to keep it going for the
dating/early marriage period.

They're good in bed, because they are playing
a role. They know what to do to please you
because they aren't thinking of their own
pleasure.

Like an actor, he can carry off the role for
awhile,then it becomes like work.

A guy of thirty three...normal guy...if
it's not every night it's every other night...
the least it could be is twice a week.

There are sixty year olds with greater
sex drive than your husband.

So my view is this...since he's so wonderful
everywhere but the bedroom, enjoy what
you have.

[allcried out]

Hi, as soon as I read it I thought he could be gay too but then I thought about the fact that he might be having problems with erectile dysfunction. He could be too ashamed to tell you about it. Believe me even men in their twenties could have this problem(I used to refill medicine for pharmacies).If he's working too hard that could be the reason. I read that men under stress could have that problem. Are there any other issues within your relationship? That could be why as well or unfortunately he could be having an affair.
- DO NOT get porn that will not help. you need to figure out the problem. Porn takes away from the intimacy of love making. If you need to get reacquainted with each other in the bedroom, you do not need porn. I read that couples who watch porn together can have problems. It could lead to sex just being something thats not as intimate. I would however suggest you get something really sexy and seduce him see if that works. If he's tiered tell him he doesn't have to do anything but lay there and you'll take care of him real good. Maybe then it will rekindle his interest and next time he wont just be laying on his back. If that doesn't work, find a time where he's not busy and sit him down to have a conversation about it. Tell him you are really concerned and would like to find out what's wrong. If he says he's tiered then just tell him that could not possibly be it.

[tinkerbell930]

Get some toys for yourself. Let him know you desire him, but need to be taken care of. If he isn't up for the task you need to take care of yourself. You could always do that with him laying right there...maybe he will see how sexy you are and decide to participate. It is really strange for a man his age not to want it a lot. My husband wants me every night. There are times I REALLY am too tired for it, but 99.9% of the time I am up for it. And I don't think threesomes or porn is the answer either. If you are taking care of yourself in front of him, that should be all the porn he needs to get into you!!!!

[Lori M]

Husband

I have had the same problem with my husband for over 26 years. I couldn't change him and make him want me so now we are talking about divorce because he ignored me and my feelings about so many more things than just sex. Don't wait, like I did, make him deal with it. Your needs count too.

[louloubell]

I may be really Niave and stupid, but do u ever just think maybe he is tired, if he does have alot of bills to pay that could just be the thing.. its stressful thinking about money. Him being gay never crossed my mind..

if a man said these things about his women, i expect the majority of you woudl say, shes just tired, not that shes a lesbian or anything like that!

[twilight_at_dawn]

I very seriously am worried about the conceptions and opinions I've read in these forums...you tend to think in stereotypes. And many of the posts I've read through have been very selfish.

May you keep in mind, that not everything is about you. Just as you may go through periods of time where you are not interested in sex, men do as well.

And just because he doesn't jump at the chance to have sex with you at every opportunity doesn't mean that you don't turn him on, or that he's gay. Contrary to popular stereorized belief, not all men want sex all the time.

I've known a few that have simply had very low sex drives, just as some women do. I've also know a few that call themselves asexual, hardly ever have sexual urges, or simply say they've never really had any significant sex drive.

The largest problem I find with people telling you that he might be gay...is the blow to him that would cause if you were to ask. It's a very person and sometimes very offending question. When he's married to you, or involved with you, and you say to him you think he's gay...he might just decide you're not worth being with if he's not man enough for you. Discuss his sex drive before you jump to that conclusion. Not every man is the same. Just as not every woman is the same.