[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[pretzel]

I'm considering the possibility of playing along, letting him make a mess/fail miserably, and then sit him down for a serious talk, where I'm going to mention a number of things such as his penis size insecurities, my ex'es, and some other "kinky" things he's had in mind, which I've never done before as I didn't want to put him in a difficult position having to talk about these things.

I've read this before.

The longer you play along the less you'll be able to move along.

[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[pretzel]

So play along just to get along.

For how much longer?

[KMonte85]

If I go straight to the discussion it will turn into an argument, he'll blame me for not giving him a chance, for starting arguments as soon as he gets home and so on.

I think that, basically, all odds are against me tonight. Whatever I do will be against me. Great...

The odds are stacked against you because of the way he manipulates situations. YOU ARE NOT WRONG HERE. And yes, he is going to say you are, that its your fault for not being a tiger in the sack the way he wants, its your fault for starting a fight when he gets home from work instead of standing there ready for some action like he wants.

but it is HIS FAULT for treating you like an emotionless toy.. and he does need to know about it. No games.. just say it, whether its right when he walks in the door or later on at night when he's been home a while. And know that no matter WHEN you have the conversation he probably won't GET IT, but you can't do this to yourself.. just playing along with him so you two don't fight, until you think he's ready to be receptive. I'm sure you probably know by now that time will never come.

But the odds aren't against you, because you are not wrong, no matter what twists and turns he may take to make it so. It is not your fault. You are NOT wrong.

[Guest]

He wants to see some 'fire'?

Light a match...

[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[stressed]

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[WildChild]

It's a matter of perspective. One view would be that it could mean freedom is just around the corner - but then it always is, you just have to open the door and walk out it.
Why is it not like you can just pack and leave if you want to?
Of course you can - if you want to.
What's the pay off for staying?

His wanting to see some "fire" may be an attempt, however poorly done, to say he wants change. He's failing to see that change must come from both sides. What would it take for him to earn your trust enough to allow you to become sexually "firey"? Can you convey that to him?

I've been dealing with some of this in thought myself. Having been through a series of men who have been emotionally damaging in a variety of ways and especially having found one who was exactly right who then changed dramatically. How do we heal and become able to be receptive to a man who is 'right', who would be a positive experience for us? Unless there is a strong foundation and something really good to work with, I don't see how you can do it with a problem man in your life.