[ladyBunny74]

So when can i stop thinking about that he ****ed a women . He only did two times but now I am finding Iamsufl thinking about it a a lot of the time yes I know it just happen but i want to move on I want to have the good life and time with my son and hubby and not have it on my mined all the time. For he come open to me about it all and I just want it to go away
..
But I want to just kill the women that he was with for she know he was married with and new son and that he was having a hard time being a new daddy and she was older then me and she made it ok for him to do and not that he was wroght for it ..
..
God some women are just so **** *****S for they are just and as bad as guys are .. Yes he was wroght for it too but she did not help ..
God I just want it done DONE OVER OUT OF MY LIFE

Bunny

[KitKat]

After reading everything you wrote the one thin ghtat stuck out to me was that you are so mad at this other women. Which most of the time if we get cheated on thats what we do, is say to ourselves" She new he was marrie dor in a relationship" . Remember that your hubby was apart of it to. You cant take all the anger out on this women. You and your hubby need to really talk and work things out and maybe go to couseling. Sooner or later your going to have to forgive maybe not forget but you ahve to forgive or you will not move on with alls relationship! Hope all will work out!

[kaylar]

The very true answer is that you will never
stop thinking about it. You will never stop
feeling anger and resentment.

You will probably turn the hatred of her to
him, because eventually it will dawn on you
that she owed you nothing. She could lie
down in the street and have sex with every
man that passed and you would never cross
her mind.

He, on the other hand knew you were alive.
Knew he was married to you, and didn't care.

When she opened her legs he jumped on her.
He was a willing participant.
If you didn't find out, it could go on for Years.

One of the things you have to come to grips
with; Husband tells the **** lies. Whatever
he needs to tell her, to get her to wide her
legs, that's what he tells her.

If he has to tell her the marriage was over
years ago, that's what he says. If he has
to tell her you are in a mental institution,
that's what he says. Whatever lie will
work.

She may have believed he loved her and was
going to marry her. You don't know what
he told her. Always keep that fact alive.

Right now, you have no idea what happened.
You can't believe a word he says.

In another thread I wrote about the Other
Woman coming to the guy's house when he
and his wife were out, and we neighbors
were standing right by the gate chatting
when she marches up as if she owned the
street.

She flings the gate, the dogs race at her,
the man's Big Son comes out, and it was
like, "Who the hell are you gal, and what
are you doing here?"

Did she know her "Darling Sweet Sugar" had
a son nearly her age? Nope.
Did she know that the wife was a very important
person?
Nope.
Did she know the wife alone owned the property?
Nope.

In fact, everything that came out of her mouth
was a complete lie. We were laughing so much,
my friend fell to the ground laughing.

The lies he told her were outrageous.

When she started to cry, we still were laughing
and went our way, because she was a ****
fool.

Hence, most of the blame should be on the husband
for if he hadn't lied to this ****, maybe she would have
kept her legs together.

The same might be true in your case.
Maybe he had sex with her more than twice.
Who told you twice?

To confirm you beliefs, someone should get the
****'s side. And see what the **** knew, when
she knew it.

[ladyBunny74]

I try to talk to her but she would not talk to me and I wanted to tell me her side of it for I wanted to know if he was lieing more to me .. He called her and asked her to help him to tell me what allthat happen ad she told him to **** off and that she was not going to help him and she was a older women she was older then me about ten years.. I have talk to all of women he was talking to and I have could a lot of it and I know all about it I wish she would have talked me but she was not it to that and I think that she was just a bad with this as he was .. But we are getting help and working thing out and I know that it hard to work in a married For I was marred for ten befor this one .. So iam not new to all of this .. The good thing here is that he is well to work and to get thing better for us and to try to work it all out ..

[ladyBunny74]

No I was not just mad that this women I Mad at Women that do not care about Family life and that they would **** a married men and not talk to the wife when she calls you wanting to know all that happen she should have came clean with me I had to right to know it all .. and she was the one that **** him .. They where BOTH WROGHT here ....

[kaylar]

LadyBunny, you have a RIGHT to be angry here.
As soon as you have proven to your satisfaction
that the Other Woman Knew he was married...
she deserves whatever public humiliation she
gets.

This is how you deal with a **** who won't talk
to you.

You talk to EVERY ONE.

Jennie found out that ****ina was screwing her husband
David. She wanted ****ina to tell her to her face what
happened, as she wasn't going to even think about forgiveness
until she knew what in hell she was forgiving.

****ina wouldn't talk to her.

****ina worked at a Government Agency.
Jennie came, looking as cute as a button.
She came to the reception, asked for ****ina
and was directed.

She came into the office with all it's people
in it's cubicle.

She was well dressed, acting very nice,
smiling and friendly.

(If you smile at someone they will very
often smile back)

Jennie's voice, though pleasant, was rather loud.

"I'd like to see ****ina about the affair she's
been having with my husband."

Everyone stopped working.

Looking into the face of the woman she was
speaking with as if they were friends and
sharing confidentialities...

"****ina's been screwing my husband David,
and I'd like to know how many times."

Jennie never stopped smiling.

****ina was in a back cubicle...
Everyone was looking at each other, looking
towards ****ina's cubicle, some smirking, some
laughing, and Jennie smiling.

A senior person stepped up, expecting trouble,
introduced herself, "I am Supervisior Smith, and
I have to ask you to leave."

Jennie, as calm as if she'd taken two Valium.

"Good afternoon Supervisior Smith, Please
forgive me. I don't mean to disrupt the office,
I just need to speak to ****ina. My husband
said he only had sex with her twice, and I'd
simply like to verify."

Smith didn't know what to do or say, asked
Jennie to leave, "this has nothing to do with business."

"Oh certainly, Supervisior Smith, I agree. This does
have nothing to do with your office, but ****ina has
been avoiding me, and I can't understand why."

And Jennie left.

Now ****ina had been one of those 'longsleeved Christian'
women, who went on as if she was decent.

Jennie went back to reception and stood talking to the
receptionist about ****ina and her husband so that any
and everyone could hear.

She was not hysterical, or acting violent, she was talking
in a voice as if she was describing the colour of the upholstery.

Ladybunny, tell everyone about ****ina. Everyone.
Make ****ina an exhibit.

Of course they were both wrong, and ****ina's behaviour
needs to be exposed. After all, everyone should know
that she likes married men.

And you can tell the security guards that ****ina gives
wonderful blow jobs as well.

Don't hide the adultery, don't let ****ina garb herself
in decency.

[ladyBunny74]

thanks hun

[kaylar]

Embarassment For Lunch


One of the points you must never forget..
you have the moral highground. You have
the right.

Make sure the world knows her nature.

One of my friends was absolutely devastated
when she found out her husband was having
an affair with a particular woman.

She went to the Office. And from the parking
lot attendent, to the guy who opened the door,
to the woman who sat alone in the lobby to
the people in the elevator to the twelfth floor
to everyone on the twelfth floor, she made
sure everyone knew that ****ina was having
an affair with her husband.

The beauty is that the **** was one of
these 'long sleeved Xians', you know the
type. Ever so 'ladylike' and 'proper' couldn't
use an obscenity, oh no, and considers mini-
skirts decadent.

Because my friend (maybe she did take two
valiums?) was so reasonable, so very calm
and polite and nice, everyone just took it up.

People were coming from the other floors to
hear the story. I'm surprised it wasn't in the
local papers, because no work went on at that
office from the revelation.

I find that Other Women love to hide in this
kind of 'I'm such a decent person', persona.
They love to wrap themselves in such propriety.

When you bust their bubble, they get the
whole world against them.

Can you just imagine the humiliation of that
woman when she tries to leave or enter her
office now that Everyone Knows about her?

It's almost worth paying for.

[tinkerbell930]

Kaylar is so right. Humiliation is a huge price to pay for a woman like that. I am sure it will make her think twice before sleeping with anyone else's husband. And I realize that doesn't help your problem...as for your question, how do you forget or forgive? I think that is an individual thing. Some people can work through it and have a long happy marriage, some cannot. I have to admit that I had an affair on my last husband and he turned around and had one on me...we were married for a total of 13 years. New home, we had "it all"....I learned of his affair at our 9 year marriage mark. We went to counseling and stayed together for the new home and kids....I was miserable and we never did get it back...it is like trying to put spoiled milk back in the fridge to make it better....so, we divorced and have both remarried. We are ok with each other, no hard feelings, in fact, no feelings at all. It is a huge blow to a marriage, I don't know that you ever truly trust that person again and there is always a know in your stomach when you don't know where they are, or believe where they say they are. Counseling and church is a big help for people that truly want to make it work. Good luck. I am sorry for your pain. And I also have to comment on your hatred for her....like kaylar said, your husband is the one committed to you....he is at fault 100%. He is the only one that had the ability to save your marriage and he chose not to. There will always be another woman/man that will come on to you or your spouse, how you respect YOUR marriage is the number one thing. I will never cheat again....it was a hard lesson learned, but it will help me with my new marriage.

[kaylar]

One of the 'Lessons' of adultery, is that you cease
to think far in advance, and begin to take it day by
day.

This is not a bad thing.

Right now you are very hurt and angry. So you
have the right to act on your hurt and anger.

As to the 'salvation' of your marriage...it is an
individual thing.

For example;

Sarah was the archetypical wife and mother.
She did everything to please Robert. She cooked
what he liked, watched the shows he liked,
actually believed that in marriage one person is
created; the husband.

Robert met a gal right off the **** parade. And
they went at it hot and heavy. Then, after all
the hideous dramas, when it came to Sarah or
Jasmine, Sarah 'won', and Robert came 'back'
to her.

The interesting fact was that Sarah a.a, (after
adultery) was not the same humble wife she
had been b.a (before adultery).

During the times Robert hadn't come home, she
had not only found programs she liked to watch
on t.V. she found friends and interests, and
created all sorts of quality time for the children.

When he came back, the choice was whether to
divorce him or not. And Sarah, suddenly having
the upper hand, went to town.

Her marriage a.a. was better than b.a, because
she did what she wanted, went where she chose,
cooked what she liked, wore what she liked, and
had a complete life without Robert.

Robert, who had taken up 90% of her pie chart,
(the other 10% shared between job/family/friends/
activities), now took up 20%.

She could work late, she could travel on business,
because coming home to Robert was not important
to her any more.

She could join clubs and have interests, because
spending time with Robert was no longer important
to her.

When a man asked her to dinner if she felt like
it, she would go. Many people did not know she
was married or that she was 'living with' her husband.
Most assumed she was unmarried/divorced/widowed.
She never spoke of her husband, hence people
assumed what they would.

Sarah made no promises, no commitments, considered
she had 'carte blanche'.

As far as she was concerned Robert had sacrificed
all forms of 'control' over her.

If he complained about her going out or her not
having sex when he wanted, she'd say, "Go find
Jasmine."