[Mes T]

I agree with Seeker, this could get out of hand quickly, someone could press charges in the future... How would you feel if in the end YOU ended up being the "bad guy"?

Just a week ago there was a story here of two women, who were both cheated on by the same man at the same time, banded together and wrecked some of his property and threatened to blackmail him. In the end THEY went to jail, and the man had nothing to do but laugh!

If you can't control your anger then you may need to see a counselor. Don't see why you're STILL in the relationship...

[mymirrose]

I mentioned before about asking for revenge ideas, and all here talking me out of it (thank God). I totally understand your anger, and having these thoughts are part of that. But keep them just as thoughts. They will pass, just like the anger. It took some time, but I finally started letting go of the anger & thoughts of revenge, started pretending (at first) to be happy in my life, the less I thought about what he did, the happier I became. Then one day, I threw out everything I had in place to ruin his life, what an incredibly free-ing feeling. I realized the anger was hurting me, not him, he didn't notice or care. Once I got to that point, I could see just how unhappy the relationship was & how good my life had become. Now, karma has stepped in and taken revenge of its own on him, and I actually feel sorry for him (but thats another story!!!) It will take time & patience, but you will get thru this & be happy again. When the bad thoughts come, get on here and vent (just let people know you are venting first, lol) just getting it off your chest will help you feel better. I hope this helps.

[torn2pieces]

True True I am too mature to act that way. I will leave it/her alone. Why I am still in the relationship is a good question. It's almost like we are just living in the same house, we keep "talking". I told had the break up talk and spoke of arrangments. Last night we were talking, then it led to an argument and then somehow we started talking about house issues (so much stuff going on for us to be at each others throat). We then fell asleep. I plan to be out by this weekend and I have even made the necessary arrangments for a place to go. So depression is really settling in. Tomorrow is my last day at work, therefore I have lost my love and my job all in one week.

[Mes T]

Well, you can't really start "fresh" unless you lose everything first, right?

Besides, you choosing to leave him because he was a big fat jerk is not nearly the same thing as "losing your love."

I have SO much confidence in you. You may be surprised just how "free" you feel once you move out.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

No, it's been going on for a long time, so not one week, instead of viewing it like that, view it as yay I have a new life waiting for me, and a new man whom will love me for ever...when I'm ready, first I'll work on doing all the things I never did, get my hair done because I can ...It's going to be a great journey....

[torn2pieces]

I haven't left. We talked and were suppose to work things out take drastic steps to better us. Well he has went back on that word. He is still in contact with her so I dug further and further and found a text sent as email from her a month ago indicating a sexual relationship. Before I had not seen anything like that and I believed him when he said they had not slept together. I didn't even see this email until tonight. I know I have to leave. I am thinking I should pack most of my stuff and leave when he's not here and either meet him or call him to inform I have left. I am having bad bad times.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Honey I am sorry... He deserves "nothing" no call no note okay.... He will work it out... He cheated physically, he continues to go back on his word...It's time to go and you know you will find someone else...

I am so sorry I know you see good in all but in this? See it for what it is ok...

CW

[mymirrose]

I am sorry about the email/text. It does put the cement in the hole, though, doesn't it? Now you won't doubt the "rightness" of leaving. He doesn't deserve a note or a call, he knows why you left. Just watch for the head games he may try now. I would contact legal aide now, they can at least advise you on your next steps. I really am sorry about what you found, I know the pain of trying, and trying, and trying, then finding out it was not being reciprocated. But you can do this, you are strong.

[torn2pieces]

Thank you. I will leave. My teacher is a judge and was once a judge in family court and I have attorney contact from a firm I worked for. I am using my resources.

[mymirrose]

Just checking to see how you are Torn. I hope your resources are coming in handy for you. In a situation like this, the first month or two are the hardest, so know you have support here.