[Hopeless Dork]

Wow wendilee... I just got around to reading your entire journey and I can't tell you how inspiring you are as a woman. This man was selfish and toxic and you needed to be away from him... but I don't know how many women are strong enough to walk away from something they know is causing them pain when the man is coming at them so hard to reconcile as yours is/was. We are nurturers, we want to make things work... and when there is a glimmer of hope in even the most disgusting human being -- we women will find it and cling to it... and you were brave enough to see you are worth so much more than trying to stay with someone so damaging.

I am in awe of your strength, resolve and honesty in this process. I think the many women that have been done so dirty by men that give the 'oh baby i'm sorry' routine over and over again... will read your words will be able to see that as hard as leaving is, its a viable option... that you can learn to see past the faux appologies to the real man underneath it all, the one that drove you away in the first place.

I'm glad he is idiot enough to have moved her in, (what an idiot to do that while still trying to get you back) but I am so glad that he's that rediculous because it can only solidify in your mind and heart that you have made the right decision for your life.

And when time does what it does, and completely heals this wound... and you are happy and whole and have fully moved on with your life... when you meet that someone special, or find that something special to do with your life that gives it love and meaning... you will be so grateful that you closed that door, because if you hadn't, you would have never been able to experience the grace and beauty of living that lies before you.

[wendilee]

hopeless dork, thank you sooooo much for your words. that makes me feel so good. and i hope that i do help someone out there who thinks they cant do it.
i still cry, and i still grieve for what we had, and it would be so easy to just run back to that, to fill the emptiness i still feel inside, but i am listening to my head tell me that i am better than that and i am worth way more. my heart still longs for him, longs to hear his voice, kiss his lips, lay down beside him. but thats a fake fix, its temporary.
His actions have proven over and over and over that he is still the selfish, hateful, inconsiderate, disrespectful man he became, and i dont think he will ever change.
i found some very inspirational quotes on line and have written my favorite ones on note cards. i have some in my purse, some in random places in my house. they are always there for me. and it does help me to read them.

one of my favorites: Don't be reckless with other people's hearts and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

moving her in with him, even him starting to talk to her again was the icing on the cake for me. i realized then and there that no matter how much i love him, i will not be with him and have him treat me less than i deserve. there is someone out there who will love me back and treat me like i am supposed to be treated. I tell myself all the time, i am a good person and i deserve nothing but the best.

thank you again hd for your words.

[Crystalblue]

Right on, Wendilee! Knowing your self worth is important and so powerful.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Let go of the things you left at that house that you can not go back and get, I did They are material things and you don't want them even if they are yours, as you don't need any reminders, all new things as time goes by is what you need, to be the old you again as well as the new you...

i found some very inspirational quotes on line and have written my favorite ones on note cards. i have some in my purse, some in random places in my house. they are always there for me. and it does help me to read them.

This is the best therapy to find you Keep reading them daily, don't stop...

You know, it's a roller coaster because marriage is mean't to be forever. But, "deserve" is an even better word than marriage, because you deserve nothing but the best and if the best is not there, then you don't deserve it.

His, crying, run away with me, then It's all your fault is purely him trying to protect himself, he is a failure, he failed, he is the dirt, he is the cheat and he is the abuser but he wan't to shift that from his mind, he can't cope with knowing this and so, he tries to shift the blame and the crying and run away with me, is he hates to lose, he is selfish, thinks of himself only.. Just go in the knowing that when you feel this high? It's because the real you has come out to play The real you is happy, and the real you has to forget and let go of the past now and go foward into your future...

It will get happier and happier trust me.

[elenor19]

wendilee, I really feel for you and admire your courage. I am a similar situation now...and feeling hurt and confused. Even though it will seem hard right now, I hope you will be happy going forward in your future.