[ms.donna]

Grrr. Leave him!! Seriously....LEAVE him. Please help yourself . U deserve better

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Grrr. Leave him!! Seriously....LEAVE him. Please help yourself . U deserve better

ms.donna on another thread you wrote this:-

I don't need this in my life, over and over. He still did it. So, one day he came home to me moaning and rubbing myself to two nude hot male porn , he was hurt. And finnnnnnaly understood. After that he was done.

You stated that assisted obviously in your other half, stopping porn altogether.. Referencing because you are not being consistent in your replies

WH likes to think it's family orientated, offering any form of opinions that may work.. That worked for you it may work for someone else, it may not work for others.. But reverse physcology can be a good thing..


Leaving someone should be the last resort OP, I can see that he will not listen but it appears that he doesn't believe it's an addiction, rather something he feels is harmless. It's not harmless, as it's effecting YOU.. I wonder if you were to state, to him that you feel that he has no respect for you, by continuing to do something that you are not happy with, and so, you are taking time out so he can re-view what constitutes a marriage of togetherness, whether he would think on it more and talk about it properly with you...I'd pack some things and go and stay with a family member for a couple of weeks and let him see what it is like to be on his own.

CW

[hurtandstressed wife]

i know how everyone feels, i dont know what to do , my husband is addicted to porn,he downloads porn movies and i am sure its over 1000 movies he as.. and he is still downloading and burning them off and hiding them all over the place in our home. i ask him about it and why he does it , his answer is always i dont know, i dont remember... i just like it.. even do he knows i hate it and it only hurts me and i am sick of his lies, i ask him to throw them away and he always says ok and but i always find the same movies just hide somewhere else and now i keep finding more new movies ... he sleeps on the sofa, and never gives me kiss before going to work and never tells me he loves me anymore like he use too... i got to the point i dont know what to do anymore, i ask him to go get help and i told him i even go with him if he wanted too.... i just dont know what to do, i been not eating , i been trying to lose weight and do my hair and things to see if its me, but nothing seems to work anymore, because of the lies and porn he is turning me from sex altogether.

[Younghurtwife]

Did you end up leaving your husband? I'm having the same problem. I literally don't know what to do anymore! I'm exhausted it's been a year and 1/2 of marriage and I have caught him at least 7 times! And always lies to my face about it! Until I finally point it out to him that I know witch sites he's been on! I truly do love him but it's getting hard when he lies to my face that he will stop! I told him if I ever catch it again I'm getting a divorce because I can't handle it anymore. But I could never follow through with it. Nothing scares him. He's just keeps doing it! And I'm a sexual person I love having sex with him! I can go all day if he would want to! But some times he even rejects me and that makes me feel horrible! I don't know what to do anymore! Please help! I need all the advice I can get!

[effy2014]

Permit me to ask a few questions. Is it the pornography you object to or has he been rejecting you in favor of porn? Do you link any other issues in your marriage to the porn?

Most men can watch porn without it affecting their marriage. Since it has become a major issue, the two of you need to communicate and compromise. I suggest seeing a couples therapist.

[rcoreyus]

This is an old thread, but a new poster. By the way - welcome .

I think the key issue is if he is watching porn INSTEAD of being intimate with you, and it sounds like he is. While there is a lot of disagreement on porn in general, almost everyone seems to agree that this is a serious problem.

Is the relationship good otherwise, or is this just one item in a long list of problems?

[Younghurtwife]

Thank you for the responses.. He truly is a good husband other then the porn! But he lies about it. And also he watches porn instead of using that passion for me so it makes our relationship so hard! I don't trust him.

[Younghurtwife]

I object to him rejecting me! And watching porn! I don't even know what kind of compromise to make since he just goes back to it. And then lying to me telling me he stopped.

[effy2014]

I'm not sure that I understand. He is a good husband, but he lies to you, doesn't have passion for you and rejects you. That confuses me. I also can't tell if you object to the porn only because he watches it instead of having sex with you or that you also have a moral objection to it as well.

It sounds to me like you are never going to stop him from watching porn. Your insistence that he stop is making him be a liar. There is an easy compromise. You agree to let him watch porn. In exchange: (I) he limits the number hours he watches; (ii) he has to be be passionate about you and have sex with you when you want it; and (iii) no more lying.

Here is another approach. Ask him what interests him in the porn he watches. If it is something that interests you and the two of you could do together, then exchange porn watching for porn in the bedroom. Maybe he watches because he wants to try new things with you?

[Patti-here]

I object to him rejecting me! And watching porn! I don't even know what kind of compromise to make since he just goes back to it. And then lying to me telling me he stopped.

Make him a simple proposition, it's either you ( the real thing) or Porn, ( which is just faked)