[Pollon]

His threats are definitely an over-reaction. What kind of things is he lying about? And what would he be so afraid of in those situations if he just told the truth? How long have you been together?

[rcoreyus]

does he lie about important things, or minor ones?

[stupidkaren]

We have been married for five years. He lies about minor things, sometimes to make himself look better. Definitely low self esteem. He has also lied in the past about doing work at his ex's house. He said he didn't want to tell me because I would be ****ed. I was more ****ed that he lied, I know he would do it because his kids still live there and he was doing it more for them. No relationship between him and the ex - they hate each other. I tried explaining to him that we are a couple and need to be open with each other. I always find out about the lying and that just makes me more angry and suspicious. Suspicious of what, I don't know. I know he is not cheating.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

because his kids still live there and he was doing it more for them.

Does his Adult daughter still live there too?

[rcoreyus]

What is good about him?

[stupidkaren]

No, she did not. Rcoreyus, there are many good things about him. He is very caring to me and others. He is a hard worker and provider. He looks out for my best interests, I know he loves me as much as I love him. His actions prove it. I guess I did over react - other than his lies we do have a good marriage.

[rcoreyus]

Is it possible he lies to avoid your negative reactions to the truth (when the truth is somewhat unpleasant).

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Good point.

Often, people will lie (white lie), little ones to avoid conflict, or to keep the peace of what otherwise, is a happy relationship.

[stupidkaren]

Yes, that sometime is the case. I, on the other hand, am a very open and honest person. I suppose I will just have to learn to live with this, and also learn to "pick my battles".

[stupidkaren]

Thank you for your input. This was not something I could have talked to anyone about and I appreciate your opinions, I am now able to view this with a different perspective.