[CheekyNess]

Whaaaaat?? Claret, where did you get this information? I was told by my own lawyer (the one who has been my actual lawyer for years, but doesn't do family law) that this is absolutely the case unless there's a prenup. He told me that if we didn't have the legal prenup, and if things went south, hubs would be entitled to 75% of my home, even if his name isn't on the deed, and even though I'm the one who it belongs to. A prenup ensures that it stays mine. Are you living in Canada as well? I'm just curious where this info came from, as I find it more than a little concerning.

I need to add this re marriage contracts in Canada:

"Marriage contracts may deal with many different marital issues, including: ownership in or division of property; support obligations; the right to direct the education and moral training of their children; or any other matter in the settlement of the spouses’ affairs. Marriage contracts may not, however, deal with the right to custody of or access to the spouse’s children. A marriage contract also may not limit a spouse’s possessory rights in the matrimonial home.
"

See, your house has now become the matrimonial home and although you may retain a greater portion because of owning it prior to your marriage he has equal claim to it under the law. Where this will fall into play is they will determine the value of the house at the time of marriage, the value of the house at the time of divorce, you'll keep the value before marriage and you'll split the value at the time of divorce.

The biggest winners will be real estate agents and lawyers, and it probably would be cheaper for you just to split the house.

They can and do get you coming and going.

[CheekyNess]

Okay, it's all good. After a tacet freakout at my desk, I found this out through an Alberta law office:

"PART I OF THE MPA - DIVISION OF PROPERTY

The basic idea behind the MPA is all matrimonial property should be divided equally between the spouses when the marriage ends. Matrimonial property is all property acquired by the spouses while they are married. The increase in value of property owned by the spouses is also included as matrimonial property. As a general rule, the MPA tells the Judge to divide all property owned by both or either spouse. Generally speaking, a Judge will divide all of this property equally between the spouses. The Judge will not do this if it would be unfair. When deciding what is fair the judge must consider Section 8 of the MPA. All property will be divided, unless it is classified as exempt property (property that does not fall within the MPA rules)."

Property which is exempt from distribution under Section 7(2) of the Act includes:
a. property of one of the spouses that they got before the marriage;
b. property one spouse receives as a gift;
c. property one spouse gets by inheritance;
d. an award or settlement for damages in tort law in favour of a spouse (i.e. damages paid for injury in an automobile accident) unless the money is for a loss to both spouses.

Exempt property (property that does not fall under the MPA) belongs to the spouse who received the exempt property. No claim by the other spouse can be made on this exempt property, except as explained in the section dealing with divisible property. If there is an increase in value of the exempt property, this increased value may be divided between the spouses."

[Claret]

Which is exactly what I've stated. . . you get the keep the valuation of the property at the time of your marriage - less any amts owed, and then you get to split the difference in valuation at that time and the valuation at the time of divorce - less any amts owed. As for the rest of any monies that you have, rrsp's etc. these MAY be negotiated and may be determined under the marital property act. Generally what is done is ASSETS - LIABILITIES = THE AMOUNT DIVIDED BETWEEN THE PARTIES. So you'd also be wise to check up on any credit card bills, lines of credit, any car payments etc. You have lots to check into and lots to have legal advise on.

Yes, I'm in Canada. My first hand knowledge of divorce is from Manitoba although I don't live there now.

[rcoreyus]

I think CheekyNess is right - she needs to (and probably can) trust her attorney on this. This is not an unusual situation so any competent attorney in that field, and familiar with the laws in her location should know the answer.

[CheekyNess]

Quick update:

My lawyer still hasn't gotten back to me. She said that her practice has been really busy lately, and she was hoping to get to my question this week.

I did a bunch of research into marriages and counsellors, and emailed hubby a list of 6 or 7 of them that I thought sounded really good in terms of work they do with couples. They also got really good ratings on the Rate MDs website. That email was sent on January 28th, and as of yesterday, he still hasn't looked at it in detail. So, I'm looking at going back to my old counsellor that I saw about a year ago for an unrelated issue. He has also seriously slowed down on helping out around the house and with the dogs as well, complaining of being too tired, when he gets twice the sleep that I get.

Other than that, he seems happy and stress-free again, and things are going OK. It's sad though, because my guard is up, and I'm just waiting for the shoe to fall again.