[jen1447]

Ha - no! I just use fancy words some times.

[DreamP346]

Can you really cheat after unintentionally getting drunk and have that be a valid excuse? I've been really drunk and I've said and done some silly stuff, but cheating? I wouldn't buy it.

Being drunk while driving is not an excuse. If you kill somebody, being intoxicated is not an excuse. It's still manslaughter.

That's how I feel about any other behavior while voluntarily being intoxicated.

[Something_Awesome]

Being drunk while driving is not an excuse. If you kill somebody, being intoxicated is not an excuse. It's still manslaughter.

That's how I feel about any other behavior while voluntarily being intoxicated.

I think I side with the people who say that being drunk isn't an excuse for cheating. Though I will make one arguement for Jen. Manslaughter is a "mitigated" degree of murder. The mitigating factor being the alcohol. So maybe she has a point; I just don't want to see it!

[Stillness]

GF gets drunk, loses discretion, has a one night stand ....that's a different animal than GF waits for you to leave for work and then boffs the mailman every Tuesday and Thursday for 16 months in your bed.

Yeah. I don't see it as a different animal than having a sober one night stand, though. The discretion was lost before getting drunk, so getting drunk is not the issue. It just sounds like a weak excuse that sidesteps the real cause.

[rcoreyus]

Someone could get drunk in a situation where they did not believe cheating was a possibility, but then that possibility arose, and due to their diminished capacity they cheated. (good example of why I don't drink).

I'm a bit unusual in that I wouldn't care very much if my wife cheated. I wouldn't be happy because I would see it as a sign that she was missing something, but it would not be the end of the world. I don't see it as the sort of "betrayal" that most people do. I actually think I'd prefer her to cheat, than to wish to cheat but not do so. I'm guessing that the reality of having an affair often falls short of the fantasy. Better for someone to learn that reality, rather than feel that they are missing out on something.

If she "cheated" with another woman it wouldn't bother me at all. (probably because the idea is so erotic that it overcomes any other objection I might have...)

[Stillness]

I wouldn't be happy because I would see it as a sign that she was missing something, but it would not be the end of the world.

That's a scenario that's a lot more understandable to me. If we weren't clicking over a long period of time and she had an affair I'd get that. Just, "I got drunk and cheated," is too much, though.

Maybe if she was an alcoholic who went insane with one sip of alcohol and she didn't know the punch was spiked, I'd get it. Barring an extreme circumstance like that, it sounds like a coward's way of redirecting blame. I don't know how drunk you've been, but I've been everything from almost imperceptibly buzzed to black-out drunk and I've never done anything that wasn't already in my heart to do.

That's why I think it's a cultural lie we tell each other. People don't cheat, beat their spouses, or commit murder because of what they drank. They do them because of what they are.

[Patti-here]

I didn't read all of this,, but if this all about "Online" cheating, I don't consider that as cheating at all,, let's not forget, it's 'online' so it's not like I'm showing up on your bedroom every night,, but like I said I didn't read all this, so I could be missing the point..

[DreamP346]

I think I side with the people who say that being drunk isn't an excuse for cheating. Though I will make one arguement for Jen. Manslaughter is a "mitigated" degree of murder. The mitigating factor being the alcohol. So maybe she has a point; I just don't want to see it!

I learn my law from the news so I could be wrong. But I think it's involuntary manslaughter. Still involves jail time.

[DreamP346]

I didn't read all of this,, but if this all about "Online" cheating, I don't consider that as cheating at all,, let's not forget, it's 'online' so it's not like I'm showing up on your bedroom every night,, but like I said I didn't read all this, so I could be missing the point..

Actually it's more about why woman cheat. If you read the last 2 sections, the 3rd date and the flight with his wife, it will tell you everything you need to know.

[jen1447]

I think I side with the people who say that being drunk isn't an excuse for cheating. Though I will make one arguement for Jen. Manslaughter is a "mitigated" degree of murder. The mitigating factor being the alcohol.

The alcohol's actually incidental to any murder charge ....you can be guilty of manslaughter while killing somebody with your car while sober if you were reckless, etc. Drunkenness is a form of recklessness, but the penalty for OUI would be separate from the penalty for killing somebody. (Which of course doesn't mean the judge wouldn't take all these factors into consideration together at sentencing.) And you could be guilty of 2nd or 1st degree murder with an automobile while under the influence as well, depending on the circumstances.

I still never said drunkenness was an "excuse" for cheating anyway, not sure why everybody's sticking with that.

"I cheated but I was drunk so it's not my fault, don't leave me." = not saying
"Her drunken cheating may not be good enough reason for me to leave her." = saying