[Something_Awesome]

The alcohol's actually incidental to any murder charge ....you can be guilty of manslaughter while killing somebody with your car while sober if you were reckless, etc. Drunkenness is a form of recklessness, but the penalty for OUI would be separate from the penalty for killing somebody. (Which of course doesn't mean the judge wouldn't take all these factors into consideration together at sentencing.) And you could be guilty of 2nd or 1st degree murder with an automobile while under the influence as well, depending on the circumstances.

I still never said drunkenness was an "excuse" for cheating anyway, not sure why everybody's sticking with that.

"I cheated but I was drunk so it's not my fault, don't leave me." = not saying
"Her drunken cheating may not be good enough reason for me to leave her." = saying

Dang. That's pretty good Jen... And I am a law school dropout... pretty good...

Though in my defense I was least fascinated with criminal law. Women usually seemed to like criminal law the most.

[jen1447]

They do tend to make really good prosecutors.

[Stillness]

"Her drunken cheating may not be good enough reason for me to leave her." = saying

I'm saying that explanation is laced with deception. Drunken cheating is no different from sober cheating.

[effy2014]

I'm saying that explanation is laced with deception. Drunken cheating is no different from sober cheating.

You are entitled to feel that there is never an excuse for cheating. However, I too believe that each situation can be different; I would not automatically leave my SO if she had an affair. I hope that I would consider whether my actions or inattentiveness to her needs was a cause of her indiscretion. We would talk and see if we could rebuild the trust that brought us together before splitting up.

[Stillness]

You are entitled to feel that there is never an excuse for cheating.

That's not what i said at all.

[Aqemini1977]

Great article and I would add that for both sexes being with the same person gets old. I don't want to oversimplify things but the thought of being with this one person (and this person alone) for the rest of one's natural life doesn't sound sexually exhilarating. Sure being with one person to enjoy your life with is great but when it comes to unadulterated passion and carnal urge...the newness of another wins more times than it loses. So why do women cheat? I go against the grain on this topic. I think women cheat for the very same reasons men cheat. Do some women get turned on and sexually aroused by seeing or thinking about someone who is not their monogamous partner....Sure! Since antiquity, society has convinced women to abandon their fleshly desires while rewarding men for their conquests. Only recently (within the past 100 years) has society now turned their convincing ways to men as well. Men and women both cheat for the same reasons. We can package it into nice rosy categories like "he/she doesn't do it for me" or "I was missing something" but at the end of the day, we are mammals that love pleasure and love ourselves above all. I know, I know this forum is filled with piety and we all have high morals and values but fancy me a scenario. What if our fundamental values, beliefs, and society was 180 degrees from where it is now? If polyamory, polygamy, or some other form of poly was the norm (meaning most people were this way and it was mandated by the popular religious sect) would you still stand so tall against the grain and choose to be different or would you buckle to conformity?

[Stillness]

Great article and I would add that for both sexes being with the same person gets old.

Are you speaking from experience or does it just seem conceptually like it would get old?

For certain people I could imagine that things can get old, but as a a universal rule, it's false.

[Aqemini1977]

Speaking from conceptual, experiential, and observational perspectives. Maybe old is the improper term or maybe we have different definitions of old. What I mean is "not new". Like when you desire something so much, so badly. You are thrilled to finally have it. That thrill and newness fades after time. Since love, relationships, and sex all have a brain/chemical element, that euphoria one feels is not quite the same on day 1000 as it was on day 1. That is what I meant by "old".

[Stillness]

The bond and desire for your mate 10 years in should be deeper and stronger than they were on day 1. The joy you feel should be greater. If they aren't, then one or both people are failing or something has gone wrong.

You're mistaken.

[rcoreyus]

I think Aquimini has a very valid point. There can be something exciting and enticing about a new attractive person, even if nothing inappropriate actually happens. Just a smile flashed at you from across the room can be a thrill. I can easily see that excitement leading to an affair if someone is not careful.