[Baboy]

So please save your judgment it isn't needed here.

Equally that kind of comment is unwarranted, especially after I sought to soften my tone and extend the olive branch.

[SpicyV]

Baboy...
I wrote that in response to your 2nd comment not then one where you softened your tone. I didn't see that until I had already posted my response.

[effy2014]

Neither I nor BB are judgmental. I have great respect for both you and your husband. I think your husband loves you a great deal as your satisfaction was paramount to him. You clearly love him a great deal because, as I am too well aware, depression is extremely hard to live with. You have an arrangement that fits you both. I wish you nothing but the best.

[jen1447]

As far as performance it is different. I prefer thing a little rougher than what my husband has ever been willing to do. I don't go out specifically looking for that either. When my husband and I do have sex it is great. Both of the men I see are a bit bigger than my husband and the sex with both is very good and they are very different too. I try not to compare the three as I adore my husband what I have with him is special. My husband does ask about what we do how good is it and all those things. I give him all the details he wants. He likes it when I really enjoy myself it seems to boost his mood.

Thanks, that all sounds very sensible and real-world.

[SpicyV]

I have also learned a lot about myself through this experience.

[Baboy]

I just came back from being out most of the day Spicy and saw your last comment addressed to me. Let's just say we are good now. If my tone seemed judgmental, I apologize. effy has summed it up very nicely.

When I was in my relationship with 2 women at the same time, all living together, we had some detractors. We were happy with what we had and we shrugged off negative opinion. In my marriage now, again I know there are some who disapprove. My wife is Asian, I am not. She's quite a bit younger than I. We in no way compare in educational or career attainments. Our backgrounds could not be more dissimilar. Some say those things matter, but admit they matter to them and they do not seek to impose their views on others. Some say those things matter and I am wrong if they don't matter to me too. Well, they don't, and I remain steadfastly unapologetic.

I recommend the same to you. Ignore your detractors. I meant it when I said if you and your husband are content with what you have, then that's what counts. Even if I was being insincere, so what? You are at liberty to dismiss me as someone who does not really know you, your husband, or the dynamics involved. I know the type of relationship you have described would not suit me, but you are not asking me to do likewise. What my wife and I have equally might not suit you. I am not suggesting you should live as we do.

I'll join in wishing you well.

[SpicyV]

Thanks.

[effy2014]

I have also learned a lot about myself through this experience.

We learn a lot about ourselves in each relationship that we have. I became fiercely monogamous with my current relationship. Before her, I never had a relationship where we can (and do) talk about everything, take care of each others needs and love in ways that are truly meaningful to each other. My complete trust in her made sexual experimentation possible.

[jns]

An interesting situation SpicyV. Most people hold onto their partner too tight to allow for relationships with others even if they have no interest in fulfilling some of the promises of their relationship with their partner. Its great that you and your husband have such open communications.

[SpicyV]

Thanks jns. That is part of the reason I held out for so long. I didn't trust myself to not be jealous. In a relationship like what we have now you can let jealousy be a factor. It look a lot of growing up and trusting that no matter what happens with anyone else we will still be the same for each other.