[atskitty2]

Do you think that jealousy would become more an issue for you, if he chose to be more involved with other women, than just the one he has so far?

[Something_Awesome]

I am confused. Am I supposed to feel that people that have open relationships are enlightened, or even evolved beyond those of us that don't want open relationships?

Also, for those of us that don't understand open relationships, I don't think calling it "jealousy" is the right word. It's something beyond that. I feel like an "open marriage" is (borrowing words from Jen, but used in a different context) like a violation of a bond.

I don't mean to offend anyone but my opinion is that if you feel like you need an open marriage then you probably did not choose the best person for you. In which case an open relationship is probably a sensible alternative to divorce and is a situation where there would not be jealousy.

If person A has a crush on you, but you give the attention to person B, then person A will be jealous of B. I do not think there is a "crush" between married partners in an open relationship. Which is why there is no jealousy, and which is why I think they may not habe paired with the best person (though they may still be a great person, just not the best match).

[DreamP346]

I don't mean to offend anyone but my opinion is that if you feel like you need an open marriage then you probably did not choose the best person for you. In which case an open relationship is probably a sensible alternative to divorce.

It all depends on your definition of intimacy and what should be shared between a couple. There are many cultures where only a married couple can touch; non-married men and women would not even shake hands. To them, the western custom of hugging and even kissing on the cheek may seem like an open marriage. For some, having friendships with the opposite gender would be cheating. A married woman having dinner with a male friend would be unacceptable.

Now think of sex as friendship. Look at it as something to be shared with other people and gives you joy and not necessarily restricted to your partner (although with your partner is the best). For you (and most people), an intimate relationship is defined by exclusive sex. For some, it is defined by exclusive emotional connections, for others by financial and legal commitments and for some, well, they define their own criteria. A lot of this is defined by social and cultural behaviors. So each person may define relationships differently. It's not that open marriages are better. It's just that it works for some people.

[jen1447]

How is it that sp (I mean DreamP lol) says everything so perfectly in like two short paragraphs? I spend all this time trying to get an idea across and then she just comes in and bam, two seconds later it's done.

[Something_Awesome]

Yeah... Well said Dream. I guess that makes sense.

[atskitty2]

I wanted to confirm that that is the sp346 I've come to know. Maybe I missed a msg alerting of the change.

[Baboy]

sp got punted off the forum. Turns out "she" was a guy living in Patti's basement.

Or, maybe what happened, is she spun a cocoon, underwent a metamorphosis, and has now emerged as a beautiful magical butterfly with a new name to match!

[jen1447]

It's her. There can be only one.

[SpicyV]

I don't mean to offend anyone but my opinion is that if you feel like you need an open marriage then you probably did not choose the best person for you. In which case an open relationship is probably a sensible alternative to divorce.

It all depends on your definition of intimacy and what should be shared between a couple. There are many cultures where only a married couple can touch; non-married men and women would not even shake hands. To them, the western custom of hugging and even kissing on the cheek may seem like an open marriage. For some, having friendships with the opposite gender would be cheating. A married woman having dinner with a male friend would be unacceptable.

Now think of sex as friendship. Look at it as something to be shared with other people and gives you joy and not necessarily restricted to your partner (although with your partner is the best). For you (and most people), an intimate relationship is defined by exclusive sex. For some, it is defined by exclusive emotional connections, for others by financial and legal commitments and for some, well, they define their own criteria. A lot of this is defined by social and cultural behaviors. So each person may define relationships differently. It's not that open marriages are better. It's just that it works for some people.

This perfect!!! For me sex has never meant intimate connection. I only share an emotional connection with my husband. He is my love. I've never held much to the idea that sex was emotional. It never has been for me.

[SpicyV]

Do you think that jealousy would become more an issue for you, if he chose to be more involved with other women, than just the one he has so far?

No I don't. I actually have found women for him that I though he would like but it hasn't worked out.