[rcoreyus]

Cheater - I don't think fantasizing is bad whatsoever, neither is masturbating. I don't feel that what you're doing is wrong. I can only describe it from my experience - I would be downright furious if I found what your wife found. However, if you fantasized about her in your mind and your wife never found out - that's another story. I don't have any delusions that when my husband fantasizes that its about me and not some hot Sport Illustrated swimsuit model. I don't ask and he doesn't tell me, and that's fine. But if I ever thought it was going to be someone he worked with, or sees in the coffee shop every morning, I would be mad that its someone in such close reach.

I believe that you've never been unfaithful to your wife, and that you don't want to be.

Just for one data point. I'm a man, I've sometimes fantasized about other women, but NEVER about the "swimsuit model" sort. You might be surprised at what your husband actually fantasizes about - it might be you. Certainly most of my fantasies are about my wife.

[macybelle]

I can totally understand why your wife would feel betrayed. I hope that she can forgive you. But you are going to have to own this if you want to make your marriage work. She's going to be suspicious and you are going to have to be understanding. She's going to be jealous and you are going to have to be patient with her. She is not going to be the same woman you knew. Her life has just changed and now she feels she has to worry about the next attractive women you work with, or the beautiful neighbor. Even if it's not what you want, your actions confirmed this in her mind. (just guessing here because that is how I would feel) No you did not cheat but, what you did in her mind was imagine having sex with this woman. Which can translate to us women and an emotional attachment. I think this is what she is having a hard time with. If my husband was looking at porn and masturbating that would be one thing but to focus on someone he knows would be extremely hard to swallow. She needs time and are going to have to jump through hoops if you want to keep her. So, technically you did not cheat but it felt like that to your wife. Sorry that you are going through this. Can I ask you why you kept the pictures? What reason would you have to hold on to them? I'm not trying to be harsh here but you might need to examine why you held on to these photos and why you felt the need to hide them from you wife. Just wondering. I hope this is helpful and not coming across as judgemental because that is not how it's meant. Good Luck!

[JJSMom]

You apparently knew what you were doing was not OK.........but I'm going to ask you to put yourself in her shoes. Let's say it was you who came home from a 2 week trip and found a collage of pictures of your neighbor (or coworker).......and when you asked your wife what they were for, she told you that she masturbated to them-----BUT only twice. How would you have felt?????