[DreamP346]

Have you seen the Mr. Clean commercial during the Super Bowl? Basically the woman gets turned on seeing her man cleaning.

I know when my husband takes on more household responsibilities like cleaning up the kitchen after dinner or making breakfast, I feel more affectionate towards him. It makes me want to be closer to him during a time our relationship is pretty cold. But I wonder if my husband feels the same when I do household chores.

What has other people's experience been?

[Stillness]

I have a hard time understanding this, so I'd have to say my wife cleaning has little to no connection to any sexual desire I might have for her - at least on a conscious level. I dislike when things aren't clean and when she messes up certain areas I try to keep especially neat.

I really like when she cooks, but that triggers more warm feelings as opposed to sexual ones. I don't think male sexuality works the same way.

EDIT: I just saw the commercial. Very good! Haha

[amy40]

have not seen the commercial but have heard that before

[atskitty2]

I think it's definitely connected for me.
I can remember feeling hot toward my ex hubby when he'd be mowing the yard or something like that. Always felt kinda silly about it, but it happens to me.

It is more than just household chores tho. I have a thing for seeing my man work in any way. lol
There's something about dirty, working man hands as I call them. A grease monkey is sexy in some way, callused and dirt stained hands...idk, just does something for me.

I appreciate the well manicured man, but a hard worker is hotter. I am sure it goes back to some evolutionary instinct that signals his ability to provide.

[Ashlee T.]

I don't think it's so much a "sexy" thing as it is that it relieves some stress from a woman, and thus, makes her feel more sexual. I truly think that heightened stress is at the root of MANY sexual problems in relationships. Women and men are often (not ALWAYS) different in the fact that men use sex as a stress relief, but women usually want to have sex less when they are stressed. I'm not married and don't have kids, and even at that, I sometimes feel stressed from a long work week, then knowing I have to do all the house cleaning, the laundry, try to make time for my boyfriend and his shows, prep for teaching my class the next week, etc. When he is at my house for the weekend and does something to help (like the dishes, or the floors, etc), it makes me feel good inside. Now, if he lived there full time, I would EXPECT him to contribute to household chores and I would get quite resentful if he did not. But even at that, if I could tell he had went above and beyond to make things easier for me, I'd feel more endeared toward him I believe.

[amy40]

Now, if he lived there full time, I would EXPECT him to contribute to household chores and I would get quite resentful if he did not.

interesting dynamic, this thread
in this day and age wonder if women are still expected to do most of household chores and the men when they do something are "helping or contributing"

[DreamP346]

Women still do more in the household compared to men, even working women. It's a fact.

When I got married, I thought my husband was equal in the household. But once we had kids and the domestic responsibilities exploded, I took on more, but he stuck to what he did before. And I think many households are like that. We have been having issues with our relationship for years and he promises to "help out more". I told him I don't want his help, I want him to do what is his responsibility and the fact he thinks he is "helping" me is the problem. When my husband does housework, I don't thank him. My response is "when was the last time somebody thanked me for cleaning the kitchen" but I do show appreciation like giving him a hug or grabbing him a beer.

[Ashlee T.]

Yep....a gripe I have and I'm not even married. This is such a pet peeve for me. I'm sure the same happens on the other spectrum as well when it comes to taking care of things like car maintenance, yard maintenance, etc. I know that growing up, my mom and dad split the responsibilities. During certain months, Dad had a lot to do outdoors, BUT year around mom had ALOT to do indoors (in addition to working full time and at times, going to school too). And it was strange, like that because the indoors were her part of the duties, no one (including us kids) did ANYTHING to help. I mean, we never hardly ever lifted a finger even if it meant carrying a dish back to the kitchen. UGHHHHH. As an adult, that makes me feel awful inside.

I wrote a blog once "Attention: MEN" and it was directed to men who do exactly what you're describing DreamP346 . They expect some sort of reward for doing their "fair share". Some men even clean something in attempt to get sex as their "reward". I think unless you've specifically agreed as a couple to split duties, then reward and praise shouldn't be expected when you do what is needed to be done to upkeep your home and your family. If a man cleaned up "our mess" and then expected sex from me as a reward, I'd be so turned off I couldn't even fathom sex with him. lol. I'm also super annoyed when a man mentions having to "babysit". I have never (EVER) heard a woman say, "no....I can't go...sorry, I have to babysit tonight cause hubs is out of town......" I see guys posting on facebook "babysitting tonight........." and I'm like "Ummm no....you are taking care of your kids.." LOL

With all that said, I'm super thankful for this "new wave" of relationships I've been seeing over the past few years where it seems like in many cases, men and women are TRULY partners. Both working. Maybe mom gets up with baby some, but dad does some too. Dad changes diapers. Mom can leave and go somewhere without fretting over leaving baby with Dad. Dad not only cooks, but also contributes to cleaning up messes, etc. A true partnership. I'm just not willing to accept any less than a teammate in life. I know that's easier said than done, but it's where I stand. Even though BF doesn't live with me, he's there every weekend, so when he does something I might say "you did great on the kitchen!", but I don't say "Oh thank you so much for doing that!!!".........cause um..........ALOT of it was his mess to begin with. LOL!

[amy40]

When my husband does housework, I don't thank him..

I thank husband and kid all the time.

[amy40]

I do show appreciation like giving him a hug or grabbing him a beer.

missed this.....so you are thanking him through actions!