[WildChild]

Think of it this way, when you watch a movie you suspend disbelief and get into the story. He knows that is isn't 'real' but you are. Watching those women on the screen is fantasy, titilation, you are warm and real. Watching some other guy getting a blow job and imagining himself getting one doesn't compare to your tongue and lips going to work. No contest. It's much more a guy thing, if you had any idea what really goes on in their heads, you might be shocked. I've spent quite a bit of time working and studying in the 'male' world, where they gotten comforatble enough to be fairly honest (I do keep definite limits). You've seen When Harry Met Sally? He tells her how guys want to 'do' pretty much every woman they see? She asked about the unattractive ones and he says, you pretty much want to do them too? Within a certain age group, that probably sums it up. Doesn't mean most really would though, just the instinct to spread their DNA is pretty strong stuff. Wanting you to watch with him is an act of trust, may be one of hope that you'll get some ideas and I'll bet he won't mind a bit if the two of you get otherwise occupied and end up not watching the whole thing!
But get over the idea that he is comparing you. Take it as a learning experience, what does he get into, what images really get him going? What could you add to your love making that just might take it over the top? You don't actually have to do it all, just talking about it may add the extra edge. Just knowing you are open to possiblities makes you a woman in a million for him, an awful lot of women aren't.

[thack]

I read your first post and then skipped down here so excuse me if I re-mention something.
I just thought a guy's opinion may help (yes I am a guy O.o )

1. He wants to be with you in a more intimate kind of way, not with the girl on the screen.
2. IF you do not like the extreme XXX rated stuff, ask him to get some softer or more "tasteful" viewing material, he ~should~ respect that. And if nothing else thats a better way to start it out.
3. I saw that Sex-ed videos were mentioned, there are some fun ones because its kind of event oriented, helps break down the "taboo" a little into something thats just more fun.
4. Dont be of the mindset that you are competing with the women in the porn's, realistically guys dont want the porn stars, (at least me) i would much prefer the woman at my side whom i share a deep connection with and nothing should be embarrassing or to touchy of a subject to try out or at least talk about in an exploration manner.
5. I have no clue what your sex life is like, maybe he's trying to spice it up for the ~both~ of you, if there is something you'd like to try, he should respect your request as well, and enjoy the adventure of this new thing WITH you.

(as a guy, I would prefer a video or picture of my wife over any porn on the internet, BUT thats a touchy subject and a call that you yourself would have to be comfortable with on your own- a fair bit of trust goes into something of that nature)

thats my bit, sorry if i re-mentioned something, like I said, i kinda skipped to the bottom.

But good luck, and enjoy the freedom to be yourself with your loved one and explore. You wont know it unless you try :P If you get into it, then let go and get into it, you will connect with him.

have fun

[Tabatha S.]

porn watching

I have to ask... do you object that your husband is watching the porn?
Or do you personally not like the porn.
There is a difference.
Your husband will watch it when you're not there, so you can't control that.
If you really don't like to watch it... then don't.
Somehow I don't think this is a deal breaker. I watch porn with my husband... I almost peed myself when he would hit the fast forward button it was so funny.
It was some basic late 80's porn that he had forgotten in his box of "guy stuff".

[mburen0001]

I have to ask... do you object that your husband is watching the porn?
Or do you personally not like the porn.
There is a difference.
Your husband will watch it when you're not there, so you can't control that.
If you really don't like to watch it... then don't.
Somehow I don't think this is a deal breaker. I watch porn with my husband... I almost peed myself when he would hit the fast forward button it was so funny.
It was some basic late 80's porn that he had forgotten in his box of "guy stuff".

Well I don't mind watching it (I admit I have veiwed it and liked it when he is not around and I told him this after we started watching it together) I don't like the idea of watching him getting turned on by another woman. I dont know, Im really confused about it. When I am really turned on it doesnt bother me, I actually like watching it with him, then other times it makes me jealous. I think that the thing that bothers me the most is now that I have agreed to watch it ocasionally with him, it has become something he mentions EVERY time we have sex (and we have sex at least once a day) He always wants to watch it. Like last night we were getting ready to have sex (in the foreplay stage) and I was having trouble getting wet (trying not to be too graphic) so he whispers in my ear in his really sexy voice "Why don't we go get in front of the computer and I can lay you down and go down on you" (we don't own any porn so I have been viewing online porn with him) Then I got all defensive saying "Why do we have to go get in front of the computer, why cant you just do that here in bed" He got really mad and just stopped all together and rolled over and went to sleep. He said I was being a b****. I don't know what to think about it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I hope he apologised to you?

He doesn't have the right to call you a just because you felt un-comfortable quite the oposite, he should have let it go, and kept trying for you.

If you have sex once a day, then I suspect that you have a good sex life, and you are perfectly fine about foreplay and experiementing and giving...

If that is the case, then limit the porn ( sorry guys) my opinion, limit it to added spice in your lives, together, never on the same day, same time routine, rather, scatttered into your week, as it obviously "can" turn you on and it does turn him on.

The last thing you want is for him to want to make love to you only and only infront of Porn, next he will save and by a TV screen for the bedroom...

You don't want him getting addicted to it and start calling you names and treating you like a ............... as some are treated on the sites purely for sexual excitement..

Well name calling is hot but you know what I mean.

CW