[Little]

Have you ever given oral sex to a woman? It's a very different animal than giving oral sex to a man. It's unfair to lump them all into one category.

[myboyfriendmark]

Have you ever given oral sex to a woman? It's a very different animal than giving oral sex to a man. It's unfair to lump them all into one category.

I dont think so you are missing the point, we are talking about equality. It is hard for a woman, deep troath, hand, trust me it is tiresome too.

[Phoebee]

Richard:

I haven't slept with that many men but no one is "born" knowing how to go down on a woman. And its not that difficult to learn, but the women needs to help him know what pleases her. In other words "training him"

I had a boyfriend who said "But XXX liked it this way!"

Ahh... Great but "I" like it this other way.

Its not atomic science!

Go to the left, right, higher, lower, harder, softer, keep doing that!, Don't stop!!!

Learning how to do a BJ is the same thing. Do you think women are born knowing how to do that?!

This is tricky. If the situation were reversed, that is, a guy pressuring a girl to go down on him, most of the blame would flow back to the guy, and to the guy's previous girlfriend, who appears to have spoiled him and set him up to have unreasonable expectations with his future lovers.

Not all men can do it. I knew back when I was a virgin that I'd want to be the kind of lover who was good at oral. I love the whole process, the way a woman has to relax and trust a man, then to have that trust validated as he brings her to climax, like he knows things about her body that even she doesn't know.

What an intimate and connecting thing it is, when you can directly experience a woman's arousal, how wet she becomes. It's like you know a special secret about her. The way she smells and tastes turns you on, makes you hard. And how being the cause of that experience validates me as a man...

(OK, sorry, I'll get out of the Anais Nin / Penthouse Forum territory now).

My point is that it's something that just comes from who you are. It's a act of giving. Some things can't be taught, or learned.

You may need to accept the fact that this is just a deal breaker for you...

[Phoebee]

And also to quote Dan Savage, "Oral sex comes standard. Any model that comes without it should be returned to the lot immediately."

AMEN!

[Steph33]

It's funny how some people (either gender) like one thing totally and the next person hates it. My BF loves giving me oral. If I gave him the choice between just intercourse with me but no oral sex, or giving me oral sex but no intercourse allowed, I'd never see anything except the hair on top of his head when we made love.

If you talk to a guy about oral, try explaining why you want it ASIDE from how it feels. As much as my guy craves the scent, taste, and feel of me when he does it, it is also a MAJOR thing to him that it makes him feel close, loving, and special to me and only me. After he told me that, it's made me love him an extra little way whenever he's down there there on a mission. And you can make it happy and fun. He often uses a modified line from the old Arnold Schwarznegger movie the Terminator on his way down there and says "I''ll be back.... eventually." We're 3 years into it and even though I hear the same line nearly daily, I still giggle when I hear it because I know what's coming (me).

[Richard S]

Phoebee,

It's like being good at massage. Some men just have an intuitive grasp of what's going on with a woman's body. We all have certain gifts and talents that we use when we make love. But apart from that, I don't see any excuse for a guy to not make an effort to be a better lover. It's like anything else in life.

My point was, as a guy, once you understand the gratitude a woman shows when you make the effort to understand what makes her orgasm, you can't ever really go back. Some guys just "get it" and it's hard to explain that to someone who doesn't.

[Guest]

He keeps saying "how can you do it for months and then just stop." I don't know what else to do. I thought that if I stopped because he wouldn't recipricate that it would make him at least try but it only made him upset. He says I'm being spiteful.

In my opinion, if he's giving you hard time about it; its not worth it. I would understand if he didn't like giving you oral and that's his thing. But, he shouldn't make you feel bad about it. Relationships are about 50/50 or at least they're suppose to be. If he doesn't want to go down under; why don't you suggest something else that would definitely please you and satisfy him as well.

Good luck!

<3

[2morrow]

I personally think its a good idea to hold off on the wedding plans. If you aren't happy or satisfied sexually now, its possible it won't get any better once you're married. I don't understand why, some people just don't like to give oral sex. Has your fiance opened up about it and really told you how he feels about it. It could be he is afraid to hurt your feelings. But really, he does need to open up about it.

My last bf, didn't want to do the oral either. We lasted about a year. I just couldn't understand how he could think that I would give him oral, and he could look at me and shrug his shoulders when it came to my turn. Just don't get it. Too selfish.

If you love to receive oral, and hey, who doesn't, and you're not getting it, I personally don't think I could be in a long term relationship. Just think, to go the rest of your life with someone, who won't. hhhmmm, think about it.

[anonymouswhitemale]

Move On

Move on, he sounds like an inconsiderate, hypocritical fool. Life is too short to be sexually unsatisfied. If a girl said she was OCD about blowjobs and would never give one I'd definately go looking for alternatives, ESPECIALLY if she expected oral nonetheless.
. . .

I'm with ya! I'm afraid this guy's a dead end in this respect. Sorry.

As for me, I couldn't imagine life without it! I like to give cunnilingus way more than ever receiving B.J.s, it's never often enough, or for long enough, it's the greatest thing on God's green earth. And life is short. And there aren't enough women who need it like you do.

[anonymouswhitemale]

do to others as you want done to you.
best saying for almost anything.
i personally love to give oral to women, but i do have limits too.
#1 rule for me.......... i have to love her. if i dont love her, i stay up north.
if i love her, i wont leave south of the border untill she is screaming, quivering, and almost crying with pleasure.
#2 clean. no need to write anymore.

For the ladies' edification, I find myself disagreeing with both of these.

1) "Like" is adequate. If she's cute, then she's appetizing.

2) This hasn't ever been a problem (excluding "monthly" issues, etc.). I've found that at least 80% of all women have a natural scent that turns me on like crazy.