[Purple&Black]

With the 'reallywant it' thing, you could try 'teasing' her - like, telling her things that you would/could do and getting her to imagine them?
I think you have to make sure you use a good choice of words but it may not be neccessary ;P
I think teasing's good for getting people in the mood but I've not got that much experience XD

[WildChild]

B&B is right that play is important.
Richard may have something there. I often cum right at the moment of penetration, she may find a different kind of responsiveness with it.