[WildChild]

Hate to tell you, Life isn't fair and it never will be. Experiencing anger at those who have what you want isn't rational. Rather you should be glad that they are there, the more women you hear of who can cum with intercourse the happier you should be, because if they can do, you can! You need to let go of your resentment and anger, they will inhibit your arousal and responsiveness. Relax. You won't get there tense. Start doing kegels, they not only tighten you they also train your muscles,it works both ways.

[SadFrigidGirl]

I don't know if kegel will works I am already tight as it is..my muscle contract whenever i have sex. and why do i always feel like my rectum is being poked when i have sex? there are no pleasureable sensations just feels like i am being poked and prodded

[lookininlusby]

I completely understand where you are coming from dear.( or not for that matter..lol..) sorry.......I too have never had a g-spot orgasiam and probably never will. But i have come to learn two things that have helped me. One...95% of women only reach orgasam from clitoral stimulation...and two...if you can have one with clitoral stimulation then your not broke so dont fix it....
you could go to your obgyn and ask about the g-shot...its expensive but is proven to help women achieve g-spot stimulation and orgasam 10 times better so that may work for you.
And yes of course its better if you have strong feelings for someone but as long as you are comfortable with that person, sex is sex and go into it having fun and not focusing on orgasam but enjoying yourself..
Im not sure what you have tryed as far as positions and creams and so on but try new positions, legs closed or open a little,different types of toys(materials that they are made of. cyberskin feels the realest to me) different size ones too....
hope i could help even a little


april

[Magnetism]

Hi Sad Frigid girl!

A lot of women go through what you go through, but won't admit it (I also was conscious of looking like a prude or less sexual than I thought of myself as). Since penetration is regarded as "sex," we think that we're supposed to enjoy that more than anything. Honestly, it's no surprise that some women prefer oral sex/clitoral stimulation over standard penetration.


Sex is more mental/emotional than we think, so penetration will not feel right if you're doing it with someone that you're not connected to, someone that makes you feel uncomfortable, someone that you're not attracted to, etc I was with an abusive man, and penetration hurt like . It was my body's way of telling me NOT to let this man inside of me. When I played with my vibrator, penetration didn't hurt.


If you're tense or nervous at the time of entry, it probably not feel enjoyable(at least it does for me). It's important to be completely comfortable with the guy you're doing it with and be fully aroused. If my clitoris isn't stimulated properly, penetration will hurt for me. My clitoris MUST be aroused before being able to take anything in.


Even if we try to force ourselves to be aroused or to be comfortable with the person, it won't work.



I'm going to go to a doctor to get everything checked out (just to make sure I don't have any infections that are interfering with my ability to experience penetration pleasure).


Just b/c people talk about LOVING penetration doesn't mean they mean it. People lie, and they don't want to look like prudes. They also don't want to look like the oddball, nor do they want to harm their man's ego. I've seen women just pretend to like penetration, b/c they think "All women are supposed to think like that."

[WildChild]

OK Sad, I actually ordered a book in part because of your post and others with a similar concern, because I wanted to better understand your situation. I really don't understand from personal experience since I've occasionally shut down (not wanting sex) but have never had the experience of consistantly being non-orgasmic.

I have to recommend that you get a copy of The Orgasm Loop, having read it (I will be using some of their techniques and exersizes) I recognize that much of what she recommends is stuff I've done for years. For me it just happened,but you can learn it and this book spells it all out. I'd be willing to bet that if you got this book and actually did what she teaches, you would become fully and consistantly orgasmic.

Give it a try Sad Girl, that means you actually have to Do It. This just may solve your problem and change your sexual life.

[SadFrigidGirl]

Wild Orchid I'll be checking the book out on Amazon.

Will it help me feel pleasure during the act itself sex?

[SadFrigidGirl]

Hi Sad Frigid girl!

A lot of women go through what you go through, but won't admit it (I also was conscious of looking like a prude or less sexual than I thought of myself as). Since penetration is regarded as "sex," we think that we're supposed to enjoy that more than anything. Honestly, it's no surprise that some women prefer oral sex/clitoral stimulation over standard penetration.


Sex is more mental/emotional than we think, so penetration will not feel right if you're doing it with someone that you're not connected to, someone that makes you feel uncomfortable, someone that you're not attracted to, etc I was with an abusive man, and penetration hurt like . It was my body's way of telling me NOT to let this man inside of me. When I played with my vibrator, penetration didn't hurt.


If you're tense or nervous at the time of entry, it probably not feel enjoyable(at least it does for me). It's important to be completely comfortable with the guy you're doing it with and be fully aroused. If my clitoris isn't stimulated properly, penetration will hurt for me. My clitoris MUST be aroused before being able to take anything in.


Even if we try to force ourselves to be aroused or to be comfortable with the person, it won't work.



I'm going to go to a doctor to get everything checked out (just to make sure I don't have any infections that are interfering with my ability to experience penetration pleasure).


Just b/c people talk about LOVING penetration doesn't mean they mean it. People lie, and they don't want to look like prudes. They also don't want to look like the oddball, nor do they want to harm their man's ego. I've seen women just pretend to like penetration, b/c they think "All women are supposed to think like that."

I experiment with my dildos and no matter how relaxed and lubricated I am, entry is almost always painful. I've used a whole tube of lube and it still hurts during entry. It burns and it strings too.

[Magnetism]

Someone told me that using artificial lube isnt enough.You have to be lubricated within. Are you also thinking sexual thoughts or are you distracted?

You know, when we think that something will hurt, it probably will hurt. I also had the problem of thinking "Oh my god it's going to hurt," and that made it hurt of course. When I think sexual thoughts, it helps. It took awhile for me to get this way though. How long have you been experimenting?

[SadFrigidGirl]

Someone told me that using artificial lube isnt enough.You have to be lubricated within. Are you also thinking sexual thoughts or are you distracted?

You know, when we think that something will hurt, it probably will hurt. I also had the problem of thinking "Oh my god it's going to hurt," and that made it hurt of course. When I think sexual thoughts, it helps. It took awhile for me to get this way though. How long have you been experimenting?

Yeah, I've been lubricated within (once I massage my clitoris for an hour) and I was very wet on my own then I took a whole lot of lube and rubbed it on the dildo, and it still hurt during entry. No matter what, it's always gonna hurt initially for me. And then there are other times where I have this burning and stinging sensation. Once it's in there, I relax and then I start to moving it in and out..I can never find that gratification that every woman feels when they are being penetrated. I tried looking for a spot, an angle, speed nothing. I've been doing this for 2 years. But I only do it once in awhile, I just have given up

When it comes to sexual intercourse, I've never had a good experience with that, ever. It was all very technical. I'd just get undressed and lay down, and the guy would climb on top of me and get to thrusting until he orgasmed. The sex was usually so short that I don't even remember the details. Just that I'd lay there kinda spaced out, and never really felt apart of the act. I'd just be thinking in my head that I wish I could feel what he does. Because they'd be so into it.

[WildChild]

"When it comes to sexual intercourse, I've never had a good experience with that, ever. It was all very technical. I'd just get undressed and lay down, and the guy would climb on top of me and get to thrusting until he orgasmed. The sex was usually so short that I don't even remember the details. Just that I'd lay there kinda spaced out, and never really felt apart of the act. I'd just be thinking in my head that I wish I could feel what he does. Because they'd be so into it."

Ummm, so you've never made love, you've just been a sort of tool? What about foreplay with a man? He should be slowly undressing you. Touching and arousing you.

Sounds like you may have an allergy or sensitivity to the lube.

Get that book!