[SadFrigidGirl]

I asked you how would you feel if that orgasmic oral sexual encounter was taken away from you and you did not answer. My purpose was to have you view the argument from my side of the fence.

I would deal with it, find something else that we both like. I wouldn't dump him, chances are I might not find anybody else who loves and cares about me.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Some women try it, and just don't like it. It doesn't make them dysfunctional.

If a woman wanted to stick a dildo up your behind, you wouldn't be so open to that now would you?? Probalby not. You wouldn't appreciate her pressuring you and presuming your reasons are because of your upbringing and that you're dysfunctional and homophobic.

Sometimes maybe you should do things, not because you like them, but because you like making someone else happy. I don't always enjoy giving oral, it's no walk in the park, yet I am totally happy to try and make sure that my partner is completely satisfied.

As for a woman sticking a dildo up my behind? Been there, done that - can't say it was great, but if you can orgasm from it there must be something to it, perhaps sometime in the future I'll try it again and I might like it.

And as for men that are utterly completely anti that... I think it's kind of pathetic. How scared they are of socially constructed ideas about how you should behave... So I would probably call them narrow minded, and dysfunctional as well.

Why can't they jsut encourage them to accept the fact that their partner doesn't wnat to do it and maybe compromise and do something else that they BOTH like.

Well, people don't always enjoy them same stuff... I might go to the pub with my friend to watch the football, but I'm there to spend time with him - I hate football. Because if him, I don't find football so ... I have a slightly broader perspective on it.

It's not a reason to throw away a relationship. What if the next woman you find gives a blowjob but doesn't want to have sex? What if you never find that balance?

By that rationale, you would always stay with the first person you met. Yes, there is a risk that you won't find what you have now for a while, but you also might meet someone that blows away your previous perceptions, validating the gamble.

[WildChild]

This has been an interesting read.You have expressed that you want feel sexual fullfillment and that is good. But Sad you should read back though all that you've posted so far and pretend someone else wrote it. What do you see? I see misdirected anger and jealousy from someone who is very sexually closed. You are looking for affirmation of limiting your sexual options. We've had some people on here who would support that but they don't seem to stick around long.

Dear One if you want to feel and enjoy sex you have to learn to love your body and your lover's body. You have to learn to pleasure yourself and then learn to share pleasure with another. You seem to be speaking from a couple generations ago when few women expected sexual satisfaction and men expected to simply use their wives' bodies to get what satisfaction they could. Whike we are still working on it, it's a new world. It's getting better and better.

Have you ever had a food you didn't want to try? But for whatever reason, you ate a bit. Then another time tried it again and at some point found you actually liked it? It's said that it take 10 times to acquire a food taste. Well sex can be kind of the same way. Personally I never had a problem with bj as far as trying, there was concern over not being skilled, some challenges I has to learn to get around with a slight breathing problem (I could never deep throat - mine's built wrong) and taste just takes some time, some are better than others and I know one who's simply yummy.

Anal is another issue and some people male or female never get into it. As for the idea of men, prostate stimulation is becoming more and more popular for a variety of reasons - some health based - it does reduce the chances of prostate cancer. The is you have just being truly open to giving things a try.

I don't know what options you think of when you've discounted oral and anal and say there are plenty of others? What have you got? hands? if they're big enough, breasts? He can come between your thighs, you arm and your side...what are you thinking of? I'm guessing you aren't looking at any kind of kink. Right now you are limiting it pretty much to intercourse which you say you get no pleasure from.

You need to focus right now on overcoming what ever programs you have running in your head that have disconnected you from your body. You have a clit, it has 8000 nerve endings (who do suppose counted those? Can't you imagine it 6788, 6789, 6790, dang lost count again!) It's only purpose is your pleasure, it doesn't do anything else. How great is that?! This is a gift to you as a woman, you need to recieve it and love it. It hasn't been that long since I and few other women have posted advice on getting to know your body, do some reading. I'm not up to writing it all out right now.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's up to you. But you may have to look long and hard to find a man who is willing to be so limited for so long. They do exsist, we have some on here, they don't seem very happy. But there are probably far too many who live with that and too many women who do too.

Look up pegging.

[Little]

Ohhh noooo WC not the P-word! Haha.
In the case that there is already an active thread about a subject, and in this case I know there is, you should post there rather than opening a new thread ... netiquette.
Neither a man nor a woman should ever be forced to do something they don't want to. I would leave a guy if he wouldn't let me do oral. It would make me feel horribly inadequate and confused. It's not necessarily about "You won't s the d so I won't stay in this relationship." It says essays about your interactions with the man. Got a gag reflex that acts up? That's different. What you're talking about is "I don't wanna." BJ's are considered "normal" by western society these days, while the big, bad P-word is still treated like it goes on in dungeons. There's a big difference in perception.

[SadFrigidGirl]

This has been an interesting read.You have expressed that you want feel sexual fullfillment and that is good. But Sad you should read back though all that you've posted so far and pretend someone else wrote it. What do you see? I see misdirected anger and jealousy from someone who is very sexually closed. You are looking for affirmation of limiting your sexual options. We've had some people on here who would support that but they don't seem to stick around long.

Dear One if you want to feel and enjoy sex you have to learn to love your body and your lover's body. You have to learn to pleasure yourself and then learn to share pleasure with another. You seem to be speaking from a couple generations ago when few women expected sexual satisfaction and men expected to simply use their wives' bodies to get what satisfaction they could. Whike we are still working on it, it's a new world. It's getting better and better.

Have you ever had a food you didn't want to try? But for whatever reason, you ate a bit. Then another time tried it again and at some point found you actually liked it? It's said that it take 10 times to acquire a food taste. Well sex can be kind of the same way. Personally I never had a problem with bj as far as trying, there was concern over not being skilled, some challenges I has to learn to get around with a slight breathing problem (I could never deep throat - mine's built wrong) and taste just takes some time, some are better than others and I know one who's simply yummy.

Anal is another issue and some people male or female never get into it. As for the idea of men, prostate stimulation is becoming more and more popular for a variety of reasons - some health based - it does reduce the chances of prostate cancer. The is you have just being truly open to giving things a try.

I don't know what options you think of when you've discounted oral and anal and say there are plenty of others? What have you got? hands? if they're big enough, breasts? He can come between your thighs, you arm and your side...what are you thinking of? I'm guessing you aren't looking at any kind of kink. Right now you are limiting it pretty much to intercourse which you say you get no pleasure from.

You need to focus right now on overcoming what ever programs you have running in your head that have disconnected you from your body. You have a clit, it has 8000 nerve endings (who do suppose counted those? Can't you imagine it 6788, 6789, 6790, dang lost count again!) It's only purpose is your pleasure, it doesn't do anything else. How great is that?! This is a gift to you as a woman, you need to recieve it and love it. It hasn't been that long since I and few other women have posted advice on getting to know your body, do some reading. I'm not up to writing it all out right now.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's up to you. But you may have to look long and hard to find a man who is willing to be so limited for so long. They do exsist, we have some on here, they don't seem very happy. But there are probably far too many who live with that and too many women who do too.

Look up pegging.

Someday I'll find someone. Whatever it is that I won't do he can just get it from somewhere else. men stray eventually anyway. As long as he is good to me and treats me right that is all that matters.

[Livelaughlove]

Seems like you been under constant attack so i hope your not getting discouraged

I would deal with it, find something else that we both like. I wouldn't dump him, chances are I might not find anybody else who loves and cares about me.

Your using your mind against you by saying "chances are I might not find anybody else who loves and cares about me". The truth is you will if you put yourself out there.

I want you to answer a question truthfully...

If all circumstances are the same EXCEPT you knew a man that was willing and absolutely loved to give you oral. And he was the most skillful man you've ever been with. HE also loved you the same amount as your current S/O.

Who would you want to be with more?

Now Reread your thread.

Live laugh and love

[Livelaughlove]

men stray eventually anyway.

Thats a very poor attitude and couldn't be further from the truth. I aswell as everyone of my friends (to my knowledge) have never cheated on a female. WOULD NEVER....Thats the truth.

Live laugh and love

[SadFrigidGirl]

Seems like you been under constant attack so i hope your not getting discouraged



Your using your mind against you by saying "chances are I might not find anybody else who loves and cares about me". The truth is you will if you put yourself out there.

I want you to answer a question truthfully...

If all circumstances are the same EXCEPT you knew a man that was willing and absolutely loved to give you oral. And he was the most skillful man you've ever been with. HE also loved you the same amount as your current S/O.

Who would you want to be with more?

Now Reread your thread.

Live laugh and love

Well, I can't imagine either situations. They seem unrealistic for me. Never been with a person who was in love or was head over heels in like with me before,

But if it ever happened I would go with the more skillful guy. but in the real world, there's no way of me knowing this and surely no guarantee i'd find a guy like that. so i'd stay with whoever i had whether they were skillful or not. as long as they were a good provider and looked after me that is enough.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

i'd stay with whoever i had whether they were skillful or not. as long as they were a good provider and looked after me that is enough.

LAME.



Think about analysing your basic gender roles and what you want out of life.

[SadFrigidGirl]

LAME.



Think about analysing your basic gender roles and what you want out of life.

That's what I want out of a man, who are you to tell me it's lame?