[Explorer44]

It certainly sounds like there are a LOT of restrictions going on here. Why does she make these demands of you, and why are you willing to acquiesce? Honestly, how could you ever feel truly united with her if you have to worry about every hand placement, or ask permission before every attempt at passion?

Something seems very out of sorts with her.

[Mitchel1870]

It didn't all happen at once, it happened slowly over the last 8 years I guess. One day you wake up and realize how far off track its gotten. I am sure I made mistakes, or there were things I could have done better. Marriges are 50/50 things. I had a job that was burning me out for years that I recently left.

I was lost kinda of before I found her and we made a great life together, except in this one area as of lately. Intially I had an amazing partner. Sex was a wonderful, and exciting for a long time.

I have begged her for her fantasies, but she tells me she doesn't have any. I know she feels certain 'things' are completely wrong (sexually). She always seemed prudish about sex, I was always the one coming up with things to try. We were both completely inexperienced.

I know she is bothered by what happens to your body when you have kids, one of the c-section scars is bad but it doesn't bother me.

I can't imagine my life with out her. My fantasies revolve around doing these things with her.

[Explorer44]

I wonder if she would feel better if she underwent perhaps a scar revision or some other cosmetic surgery to help her feel better about her body?

[WildChild]

It is unfortunate but we have a long cultural/religious history of negative attitudes towards sex and especially women's sexuality. "Good" girls or women, don't really want sex, don't have fantasies, don't initiate, don't, don't, don't. Breaking past this can be very difficult because it is so deeply ingrained. She may not even allow herself to admit to herself that she has fantasies. If I may (you haven't been around long enough yet LOL - I have a book for everything) suggest a book, One Hour Orgasm, gives some wonderful instruction for both of you in pleasuring each other. I have an idea that you may find it a good way to reintroduce a feeling of tenderness and caring with some really good orgasms.

[pretzel]

It is unfortunate but we have a long cultural/religious history of negative attitudes towards sex and especially women's sexuality. "Good" girls or women, don't really want sex, don't have fantasies, don't initiate, don't, don't, don't. Breaking past this can be very difficult because it is so deeply ingrained. She may not even allow herself to admit to herself that she has fantasies. If I may (you haven't been around long enough yet LOL - I have a book for everything) suggest a book, One Hour Orgasm, gives some wonderful instruction for both of you in pleasuring each other. I have an idea that you may find it a good way to reintroduce a feeling of tenderness and caring with some really good orgasms.

I would agree and disagree at the same time. Agree that the history (and especially religous history) has not been especially progressive towards sexual attitudes. But I do think that is changing, albeit very slowly. Just take a look at ourselves and compare them to our parents and grandparents. Do you feel that it is now easier for young adult children to talk more openly with their parents (i.e. our generation) as compared to us being able to talk to our parents and them to their parents. I think that trend is indeed changing but we won't see another degree of progressiveness until our children become parents of young adults.

Also, look at the evolution of some of the most popular media venues. Cosmo is a very popular magazine and has been for some time. They may not have their premise correct in that it seems that they continue to focus on what women need to do to satisfy their men instead of themselves, but the fact that it is more openly discussed is in itself a very progressive move.

Just a thought.

[LEEWEE123]

I've been married almost 19 years, am 40, husband 46. It seems like now I have to beg for it. I am so sick of it. He has always been able to wait long, but it's just getting rediculous, and I don't want to start having adulterous thoughts. He can go for more than a week without it, then I get my period so he's waiting again, and then it stops and he's STILL not groping at me...He is making me sick, just looking at him. Does anyone know of a natual male aphrodisiac??????

[MzLynnie]

Going through the same thing, I am frustrated and want to cry! He is a great husband in every other way and great at sex when we have it, just don't have it often. Maybe 2-3 times a month!! I feel your pain!

[rcoreyus]

Same here except I'm male. Wouldn't it make a lot of sense if we dropped the rather archaic idea of "cheating" and people could have sex outside of marriage. We would have a lot less frustrated people who are in marriages that are good in many ways - and terrible for intimacy.

[Texasred]

I've been married almost 19 years, am 40, husband 46. It seems like now I have to beg for it. ....Does anyone know of a natual male aphrodisiac??????

There is one, and as a male, I can assure you it works almost every time:
a naked woman with a smile on her face!

If THAT doesn't work, there are some real problems. It could be the suddenly-popular "low T" (low testosterone) that doctors weren't even considering just 5 or 6 years ago, and even now will only test for if you bring it up.

Low 'T' in fact is found to be the leading cause of the Viagra-family pills not working, for that fair-sized segment of the male population for whom Viagra (or Cialis, or Levitra, etc.) simply does not work.
One more thing about low 'T': guess what INCREASES testosterone levels?
You got it! - Having sex regularly!

Or some other medical condition could be causing his problem, or stress, or poor physical condition, or a variety of other medical conditions that a doctor can identify readily and usually treat easily.

But first he has to want to be cured: you can't hold a gun to his head and make him go to a doctor. Well, you could, but you might get arrested yourself...

The key is, don't give up.
Not yet, anyway...

- TR

[miss_sexi_woody666]

Help!

Hi Can Any One Help me im 20 year old and my partner is 22 and im gettin to the point were i can't take it when he says no to sex. he doesn't satisfi me and when we do the longest is for 30 second, iv never had this problem before with my ex partner's and no i startin to get moody aggressive and depressed cuz of it, and it gettin to my head that i think he dont love me, i know he have lasted longer with his ex but y not me.

please can any one help me this is effectin me and our relationship!