[Bostongirl77]

Hi, I'm new to this so, please bear with me. I've just turned 50 my SO is just turned 40 and we've been together 10 months. I sympathize with everyone who has posted here as I have the same problem. I'm sitting here alone with my computer while my guy is snoring in the next room after saying to no to sex after we had already said tonights the night. I got all excited for it and then we get into bed and he says to me "The lube you used gave me a rash so I put something on it and I don't want to disturb it" just like that. I started to move away from him and he says to me don't get an "attitude" Attitude I'm upset that yet again he set me up and let me down. As Miss Sexi stated I'm starting to get moody and ****ed off. I just want to know if I'm crazy, this is a healthy 40 year old guy who at the beginning of our relationship told me he had a high sex drive, if this is high I would hate to see what he thinks low looks like. What are your opinions on this. Thanks.

[A Dying Breed]

Hi, I'm new to this so, please bear with me. I've just turned 50 my SO is just turned 40 and we've been together 10 months. I sympathize with everyone who has posted here as I have the same problem. I'm sitting here alone with my computer while my guy is snoring in the next room after saying to no to sex after we had already said tonights the night. I got all excited for it and then we get into bed and he says to me "The lube you used gave me a rash so I put something on it and I don't want to disturb it" just like that. I started to move away from him and he says to me don't get an "attitude" Attitude I'm upset that yet again he set me up and let me down. As Miss Sexi stated I'm starting to get moody and ****ed off. I just want to know if I'm crazy, this is a healthy 40 year old guy who at the beginning of our relationship told me he had a high sex drive, if this is high I would hate to see what he thinks low looks like. What are your opinions on this. Thanks.

EVERY SINGLE GUY is gonna say he has a high sex drive. Men are afraid of being seen as less manly (which apparently it is less manly to want less sex). Society pressures them to have a high sex drive, because it is a reflection of male fertility and verility.


Fact is, a lot of guys are so lazy when it comes to sex they'd rather beat off to porn for 5-10 minutes than spend an hour or two with somebody they at least say they love.

Honestly, you can't take a mans word on hardly anything (except maybe mine). Society puts so much pressure on men to drink beer, play sports, and have lots of sex that they are emasculated or embarrassed if they dont pretend to be everything they are told to be.

Sorry, but it's the truth, and a lot of the same can be said about women when it comes to being "normal" in our social world

[muppet]

Hi, im new to this so if i go on to much or you cant understand what i put , please forgive me . Im 40 and my partner is 27 we have been together for 7yrs and i have 4 kids , when we first got together our sex life was great he would make me feel on top of the world and i would him , but over the last 3-4 yrs our sex life is non exsistant , we dont kiss we dont do anything intaimate together , he just sits on hes pc most of the time , i have tried to talk to him about it and he says we will sort it but to me it just seems an excuse to get out of it , i dont know what to do anymore i have let myself go i get depressed i dont feel very wanted i dont care about myself , i get so angry and very jealous of him and hes pc as it seems he would rather be on that then spend time with me , we do spend sometime together but its not adult time (thats what i call it) ,i have got to the point now where i cant be bothered anymore if he doesnt but i do so want to have a sexual realationship with him, im just asking is the fact i get angry and jealous and feel so down on myself to do with the fact we dont have any form of sex or closeness .

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Age is only a number...

Take sex aside, describe the rest of your relationship.

You dress.

Your moods.

You and him..

CW

[Guest]

I'm in a similar situation. My girlfriend is 42, but lovely and looks younger. My libido is always high. I need sex at least twice a week, but she can go weeks without it bothering her. I 've sat her down and talked to her about it. It changes for a week or two and then reverts back. I even feel awkward now about asking her to relieve me!
When we have sex it's very good, just doesn't happen enough for me. My ex wife never took the initiative and would just lie there. It got to the point where I just couldn't approach her about sex and then the relationship ended.

[JennieMay]

I understand those feelings. I've been with him almost 10 years now, 4 kids, and a wonderful life. Great family and all the nine yards. Don't get me wrong, we do fight from time to time, but over the years we've grown and started handling issues like adults. We grew but then again we didn't. Our sex life has lacked over the past 3-4 years. I would buy toys, creams, lotions, games, clothes, just about anything for him,..for us. It was out of love and compassion. Now you know ladies, when we love a man from the bottom of our soul and then sex happens,...oh wow it rocks. It feels good in all your senses and life is grand. So what happened? Arguements over the years, blaming, crying, feeling like I was ugly and gross. My self esteem has taken a beaten. I'm drained from this. The weird thing about this whole issue is that he's usually lasts about 3 min or so. Doesn't really try to make himself last any longer or even whack off before hand. No helping me out afterwards either. He gets his and that's it. He does apolgize and says that he'll try. But no progress. That is what boogles my mind. It seems to me like pure selfness. But what do you do when you've tried to address the issue in a calm loving manner? I'm so confused and I'm tired.

When you find out let me know because I have the same problem, 3 mins. he's done, and then says sorry. This has been happening for a long time now. He's never been able to give me an orgasuim because he's done so quik. I'm a Christian and don't beleive in devorce. I don't know what to do I feel stuck, but I love him, we've been together for 20 years now.

[stressed]

EVERY SINGLE GUY is gonna say he has a high sex drive. Men are afraid of being seen as less manly (which apparently it is less manly to want less sex). Society pressures them to have a high sex drive, because it is a reflection of male fertility and verility.

Fact is, a lot of guys are so lazy when it comes to sex they'd rather beat off to porn for 5-10 minutes than spend an hour or two with somebody they at least say they love.

Honestly, you can't take a mans word on hardly anything (except maybe mine). Society puts so much pressure on men to drink beer, play sports, and have lots of sex that they are emasculated or embarrassed if they dont pretend to be everything they are told to be.

Sorry, but it's the truth, and a lot of the same can be said about women when it comes to being "normal" in our social world

I agree so much with every word. When a woman posts this here she's called a feminist, or someone who doesn't understand men, or biased.
Great post.

[WildChild]

Sigh, it's all too common. But if we can help bring this out into the open it may help.

[flutterfly441]

going throught the same thing, been married 34 years, super wonderful husband except for in the bedroom. Been almost 2 years....have talked to him, have been to the doctors. Viagara works but he never uses it. I am so tired of all this, do I just resign myself to the fact that our sex life is over?

[flutterfly441]

Thomas, don't feel bad. Women often don't have the urge until they are stimulated. Does she enjoy it once you get going?