[sandman24]

One more thing. You said that you can't help it if you like large penises. Sounds like you know what you like, know what you want, based on experience. That's great.

Physical needs are very important in a relationship. If your physical needs aren't being met you will build up resentment over time, more than you currently have. Maybe, if the two of you can't work it out, it's time to reevaluate your relationship and possibly move on. There are plenty of men out there that can meet your love and sexual needs. And plenty of women that will be completely happy with what he can provide.

Most of us humans seem to fall into that "love conquers all" trap and think that things will work out because you are so much in love. Reality of it is that it doesn't usually work that way, unfortunately. The trick in life is finding the perfect partner, or close enough, with compromises.

Still learning,

When u say we tend to fall into the "love conquers all" trap, & u think ppl should look for the perfect partner, what do you mean? I've found that noone will b perfectly what we want & if ur looking for that prepare to b lonely. I do agree that u can't change someone, but what compromises do u feel are part of the "love conquers all" category? Does penis size fit in this category, & if so what are the limits? Any other ladies have an opinion?

Sandman

[StillLearnin]

Sandman, I am a man that sports a larger than average, but not monstrous, sized penis. 7.5", thick, and hard as a rock. So I don't know what the limiting penis size would be... Based on my experience though, I seem to be just about right for deep penetration and clitoral stimulation, without causing any pain. As long as they are well stimulated and have natural lubrication working for them, that is.

But I can comment from a man's perspective about mismatched sex drives, and love. The problem with love is it causes blinders to be put on about your other needs, your physical needs. From what I have learned on these threads, and my own experience, the physical needs are just as important as emotional. But we get into a relationship, and allow our love to overshadow our physical needs. Then we think that "love conquers all" and continue that relationship, thinking that some day we will just get over it and let love fix it all. But reality is our true needs are being suppressed, and they eventually surface with a major build-up of resentment. And by then we have so much invested into the relationship, with children, time, and financially, that it would be devistating to leave the relationship.

[jns]

my ego may allow me to b ok of my gf wanted to occasionally use one slightly longer or thicker, but if she consistently wanted me to use something that was twice my size that I could never compete w: I think I'd have to end it.

I do agree that u can't change someone, but what compromises do u feel are part of the "love conquers all" category?

If one partner is complaining about penis size, maybe that is an indication that that partner is not in love. Maybe loving, but not in love. It sounds like you may already have an answer to your problem.

[sandman24]

OMG I can relate!!! I'm in the exactly same boat with my current bf!!!! I want it to work i love him to death but in bed there's no deep penetration..I want it so bad. I can so relate so I'm sorry I don't know what the answer is. If you find a solution let me know!

Sarahlee,

Is ur man abnormally small or do u want larger than average? If u want above average, have u always been this way, or have u had larger than normal penises in past relationships that u have grown used to & now require? What's the ideal penis size to u & why?

[sandman24]

i think porn is the problem, not the solution

Sounds like he is deeply hurting and trying to find a way to deal with the pain by getting sexual pleasure out of the humiliation. You sitting there telling a 3 inch penis having man that you love big penises and the guys on screen are so yummy with their big things (even him asking you to do this ) is humiliating...

And instead of crying into a pillow he's found a way to get off on it, but once the orgasm is over, he goes back to feeling the shame and humiliation.



It reminds me of a woman that posted here that insisted her man watch porn while they had sex, she wanted him to tell her how tight the girls vagina on the screen was to stare at it while being in her... since she didn't feel like her vagina would ever be tight enough to satisfy him. It hurt her feelings, but she felt like she was helping him have something (in fantasy even) that she felt she wasn't providing.

If your man's preference changed, and he liked athletic female bodies with small toned chests and wanted to watch porn with girls that had a body type nothing like your own... screamed oh i love firm little bitties during sex staring away from your big ones... you'd probably feel insulted.

There are men out there that find huge breasts a turn off... or that would counter a woman that cant find pleasure with a 3 inch penis, just has a slack vagina etc...

I, myself have large breasts and my boyfriend loves them, and loves me. If he didn't find my body type attractive, constantly longed for something I couldn't change... I would not be happy with that.

You've insisted your preference is bigger penis, if its something so essential to you, I don't understand why you stay... if only to make him feel emasculated (even at his request).

I know you think you are doing what he wants, telling him what he wants to hear, but the way he acts when he's not arroused should be obvious that this all very damaging.

Hopeless,
I agree w: u 100%...this guys fetish w: wanting to see his gf w a huge penis is emasculating & is causing them to have an unhealthy insecure relationship. In my opinion, I think watching too much porn is contributing to him feeling like he is inadequate b'c he is comparing himself to pornstars, which correct me if I'm wrong, represent the top 5% of men in penis size, whaling away on women who have sex for money & are paid to enjoy what would be torture for the average woman. I think it also damages women who seeing how much guys watch porn, think they should act just like these women & enjoy getting treated like a prostitute. Do u agree? I also think the guy may be fixated on large penises himself & is projecting on his girl to validate his obsession. Have u experienced this?

Sandman24

[vicen]

If you really love him, why does it matter? I've never fully understood this concept. I realize that men like to be well endowed but why it matters so much, I have no idea. Size isn't everything.

Well said. One reason why it matters so much, or rather seems to matter, can be discerned by the constant references in the comments to pornography & to 'physical needs'. People are influenced by the rubbish they see online, and it seems the more technology advances the shallow its users become.
Somebody remarks that the poster has every right to "back out" if she thinks it's a "deal breaker". The egotism of this really is beyond belief. If the guy knew his reproductive organs are the subject of a debate, he might be the one doing the backing out.

[Fallen1]

Well said. One reason why it matters so much, or rather seems to matter, can be discerned by the constant references in the comments to pornography & to 'physical needs'. People are influenced by the rubbish they see online, and it seems the more technology advances the shallow its users become.

This goes for BOTH genders and it's really a shame.

[LilahX]

I'm sure you don't need to tell him. It would have been perfectly obvious to him all of his adult life. If he's not a very experienced lover then he may not have worked out how to 'work with what he's got'. A major pleasure point for women is only just inside the vagina, easily reachable by the smallest penis if he knows how to angle it and how to stimulate it.

Talk to him, but not about his size. Just say you want to try different positions, angles (maybe pillow under yr hips), take it slow, get him to move in different ways till something feels good. If he's any sort of lover then he'll take note of what feels good for you and use it in the future.

[sallywi2003]

My current BF is not much bigger than you are talking about and we have great sex. I think that it depends on your expectations and what you want if he is not large enough for you then maybe you need to find someone else. Otherwise you can work with him on foreplay and arousment before having intercourse so you are all ready on edge and his smaller penis mighte work out well. Otherwise I am sure there are toys or other products that could help.

[chi bomb!]

My boyfriend had been my friend for years when we got together and i didn't notice at first untill he appologised for having a small penis. His previous girlfriend didnt' come once in the whole time they where together and i think that had an impact on his self confidence.

Rather than rejecting him i just realaxed with it and tried loads of different positions and found by putting my legs over his shoulders he stimulated both my g'spot and clit and i now have no problems having an orgasim even tho his penis is small.

He now has more confidence and feels better about himself and this has made him a better lover. Tho he still feels the need to appologise from time to time, but i think that he just needs to be reasured.

his penis is about 3 1/2 inches errect