[Cowsywowsy]

I don't mind giving head at all, but on my face no thank you. I think the fact that we do it, should show him we care. I have to agree with longshadow here it seems like a dog marking his territory.

[Hopeless Dork]

hmm I never considered the marking of territory bit.. but maybe thats why I like it so much.. whether in my mouth, on my breasts, on my face or inside of me. I don't have a preference for which location he does it I just enjoy him coming, regardless. Maybe its my need to feel owned and possessed. Never considered it. Call me twisted but the thought of him thinking of it as a territory mark.. would make me happy - unfortunately I dont think he thinks about it that seriously lol.

[thack]

I am a male, and I cant really say I felt like I was marking my territory, the few times I have unloaded on a womans face was by request, she grabbed me, aimed, and did the work. not me.

So, how It can be viewed as degrading, sure, most of the women I have encountered that did not like it "on them" were sexually timid, *NOT SAYING YOU ALL ARE* just the ones I encountered. they were the type of women that felt different positions were dirty enough, let alone being sticky.

I view it as part of the fantasy, yes, we have all seen it on porn, and with the increasing amount of porn and women that watch it along side men, its a fantasy, no dirtier than you wanting to be covered in chocolate syrup or handcuffed to your bed with YOUR partner, not a random guy.

The main women I am sleeping with right now, almost cheers me on as I near orgazm and asks where I want to put it, rarely do i say the face, but thats because I like to kiss her shortly after I am done lol, but I do find it quite a turn on how eager she is to receive what I have to give. She does not swallow and I dont bother her to do so.

So, IN MY OPINION, something done with a partner, husband, boyfriend, whatever you want to call it, in your bedroom, between to lovers, there is nothing degrading, everything we do in bed should be in effect, geared towards helping the other person feel wanted, desired, sexual, and orgasmic.

I know when I go down on a woman, I have to wipe my face off, girls tend to get very wet, but then I like to do it, nothing sexier to me as forplay than a woman gasping for air because she cant stop having an orgasm and I haven't even entered her yet. Tends to get me warmed up :P

my 2 cents, take it for what you will.

[rcoreyus]

I don't think of oral sex as disgusting at all - and I think it is a great turn on to watch. I'm no personally excited by finishing on someone's face, but I don't see anything wrong with it if both partners enjoy.

I definitely agree. Even if my boyfriend randomly said one night he would like to finish on my face I would be very reluctant to go through with it. I think him watching me give head is disgusting enough so we don't even have much light, so having him unload on my face and watch it drip down would likely be traumatizing to me.

[ItsASecret]

I don't think of oral sex as disgusting at all - and I think it is a great turn on to watch. I'm no personally excited by finishing on someone's face, but I don't see anything wrong with it if both partners enjoy.

I don't think oral sex is disgusting, I think being watched is. I have asked for my boyfriends opinion on it many times just to see if he wanted me to at least have a dim lamp on so he could watch but he just says he has never actually had an interest in watching his penis being sucked. According to him he has always had that opinion (I am his first girlfriend as well so there are no previous experiences). That to me is perfect because we can both agree to not watch, and instead focus on the feeling. And to increase the questions I have asked him about coming on my face and if he could ever do it, his answer was he probably could to another girl that he never cared about but never me. So I'm happy with never having to worry about him finishing all over me on a whim without my consent, yay lol.

[longshadow]

Hi Talitha
Your comments are very interesting. I feel that the cum-on-the-face is another form of tagging - just as you say. I think it is a far more private form of the more common "public display of affection". I think PDA's are very overt tagging used by insecure people of both sexes. Rarely is it sincere affection as much as it is a display of possession that erects boundaries to separation (by PDA's I do not mean the couple in the restaurant booth and fireworks display). I mean the inappropriate kiss on the cheek in the gym or the workplace. This is not affection - this is tagging.

I think there are allot of confused ideographic images out there that work there way into our lives.

Cum-on-your-face comes from misogynist, violent woman hating porn.

*But porn has worked it's way into mainstream. Look at music videos where women are s (or like creatures) and men are violent killing machines with s as drug pets and possessions.

I do not argue that there are girls that take spunk in the face as playful, sexual exploration and it all fine. But in a larger picture I think it is very disturbing and is intended (however subliminally and probably not even understood by the perpetrator) as a violent act.

And..I believe it is separate from BDSM and D&S.

I don't mean to be the big wet blanket - I hope young women watch out for signs of tagging and possession. Have self respect, have positive self image - be free.
If you want spunk in your face, do it for the right reasons.

Thanks - sorry for the sermon.

Longshadow

[golden_nemesis]

Hi Talitha
Your comments are very interesting. I feel that the cum-on-the-face is another form of tagging - just as you say. I think it is a far more private form of the more common "public display of affection". I think PDA's are very overt tagging used by insecure people of both sexes. Rarely is it sincere affection as much as it is a display of possession that erects boundaries to separation (by PDA's I do not mean the couple in the restaurant booth and fireworks display). I mean the inappropriate kiss on the cheek in the gym or the workplace. This is not affection - this is tagging.

I think there are allot of confused ideographic images out there that work there way into our lives.

Cum-on-your-face comes from misogynist, violent woman hating porn.

*But porn has worked it's way into mainstream. Look at music videos where women are s (or like creatures) and men are violent killing machines with s as drug pets and possessions.

I do not argue that there are girls that take spunk in the face as playful, sexual exploration and it all fine. But in a larger picture I think it is very disturbing and is intended (however subliminally and probably not even understood by the perpetrator) as a violent act.

And..I believe it is separate from BDSM and D&S.

I don't mean to be the big wet blanket - I hope young women watch out for signs of tagging and possession. Have self respect, have positive self image - be free.
If you want spunk in your face, do it for the right reasons.

Thanks - sorry for the sermon.

Longshadow

So couples should avoid light kissing or touching or holding hands in public? I mean, I've never really been a fan of the public make-out session, that's something that should be done in private, no question.

But physical contact is very, very important to my partner and I. Whether people are around or not, we are almost always in contact with each other. Its not about the people around us, trying to prove anything, but just because there is such fulfillment in being close to each other. If that is insecurity, sign me up for it. Of course, if the situation in one way or another requires that we do not do any PDAs, that can easily be done, we do not wither away if we are not in contact.

I also don't quite understand your distinction between work, gyms, restaurants, etc. No matter where I see it, if I see a woman or a man kiss their partner lightly on the cheek or lips, or hug them or hold their hand, and both parties look happy, it gives me the warm and fuzzies. I am happy for them. Now if you are doing this to a coworker or someone you are not actually in a relationship with, that is a little different.

I suppose I just hold a very different set of ideas about relationships than you. I do not consider myself insecure at all. Not to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty confident, successful young woman. I feel powerful and happy. I respect myself, and I respect my partner. So if what I am doing is wrong, let me be this wrong for the rest of my life.

[longshadow]

Hi Golden
I do not doubt or disagree with anything you say. I am of course drawing extreme examples. Hand holding and genuine affection - I can't argue with that (and would not). I hope you can see my point about tagging - maybe not. I guess I have seen good people trapped in bad relationships and witnessed abuse from passive aggressive partners.
PDA's (in the way that I am referring) is a method of publicly marking a woman (or man) as yours.
PDA's in the manner you suggest are GREAT! and what we are all looking for.

;-)
longshadow

[Hopeless Dork]

I get what you are saying with the tagging, I see it... a girl move in closer to her man as another woman approaches... a man smothering his lady and pulling her close every time a guy comes near her. She's mine. I wouldn't consider that PDA though. A couple swapping a peck before they go their seperate ways in public be it a gym or whatever.. doesn't have to be tagging. It could be, genuine emotion. A way of saying I love you before parting.

I have to say... I do notice how often you use the "spunk in the face" term, and it is what is.. but I think that judging something that goes on between 2 consenting adults and labelling it as low sounding as possible is a form of degrading in a way. I don't see it as spunk in my face... or spunk down my throat. I see it as me and my guy making love, in various ways, sharing each others pleasure, intensly and in a way we both enjoy. We hold each other after... no matter which way we do it. And I feel loved and happy.. whether he has "spunked in my face" or just shared his orgasm with me in the way I requested.

For thwacks comment about the women he was with that took the lead on it... I think thats the difference too. I did it, took the lead on it during a BJ, I wanted to.. yep maybe influenced by porn, but either way I was curious and trusted him enough to explore it.

I think a man knows how curious or interested his lady is in exploring more graphic things and has to take her comfort level into consideration. Someone that doesn't want her bf to look at her when she provides oral sex.. is NOT going to want him to cum on her face, typically. It is by and large a visual act so would be a moot point to do it in the dark anyway. But the point is as the OP stated, SHE doesn't like it.. so YES it would be extremely degrading if he wanted to move forward and do it and he doesn't so that is great!!

I don't think women should have to do every crazy thing they see on tv in the bedroom in fear that their man will seek it out elsewhere if its not provided at home. If a man loves you he will respect your boundries. But on the flip side of that, if a man loves you and you wish to explore and he indulges you.. how in the world is that degrading?

[WildChild]

The Light of My Life has never purposefully done thisI like to get every drop but it's happened accidentally and left us laughing and giggling about facials and such.

The 'tagging' idea is one I had not thought of. There is a natural part of the social dance that goes on with this with a couple. When out in public and an unattached individual makes an approach, the response is often completely unthought out but one or the other of the couple will take some sort of action to make the relationship clear. When we were first together the LOML was a riot with this, total alpha male behavior, totally unconscious. If some guy started talking to me, LOML would seemingly absent minded, reach his hand into my hair, grasp a big bunch and give a very gentle tug, or he'd walk by and give a quick pat on the tush. It was very territorial. He doesn't do it so overtly now that the relationship is secure but he'll still get is feathers ruffled if some guy pays too much attention. He'll be stomping out to the parking lot saying, "that guy at the contractors desk was looking at you like you were desert when you went to get that part! Maybe I should give him a picture, he can stare all he wants." I've dealt with a man was almost pathologically jealous, this is nothing like it. I don't see it negatively as long as it stays within acceptable limits - if he took a swing at the guy or started blaming and yelling at me, it would be another story.

This has come up before regarding giving head, a man should not grab the woman's head or try to control it without her permission. In many parts of life permission is what draws the line. Consentual sex is good and wonderful, nonconsesual sex is rape, consent to use my lawn mower is borrowing, non consent is stealing. It's in the attitude, the permission, the situation.