[SoConfused217]

It's just that I don't think he tastes good, but I give him blow jobs anyways just so I can pleasure him. I wish he'd do the same back to me.

[Irish Heart]

Some men are like this, it's not your fault - he's the one with a problem!

You're clearly not happy with the situation so you need to have a serious face to face talk with him about it. My own opinion about oral is if I'm not getting any, I'm not giving any (and I really enjoy giving so sticking to that is tough!) - communication is vital but if one half of the partnership isn't getting their needs met, it's a bad omen for the relationship.

[ixx]

My boyfriend loves giving me oral. I usually love it too. I give him oral, but not that often... I'm not really that into, but I do really enjoy it on occasion...i have my own way of doing it which he loves... as long as there is no semen involved... the smell/taste is quite unappealing to me. He has never come when I give him oral... so this isn't a problem. He doesn't usually like to orgasm. I guess we're lucky that we seem to fit each other in this regard.

I think people are quite different in their tastes via oral and other sex. I'm sorry that your boyfriend was so harsh about his feelings. He should have taken a different tone and not made you feel undesirable. Maybe he will change his feelings about it over time. But I don't think someone should do something they don't like to pleasure someone else. There should be pleasure in it for them also. If this is a big issue for you then maybe it would be best to find someone who loves giving oral. Plenty of men do.

[Steph33]

My guy lives to give me oral, must be an aquired taste. Some like and some don't, aside from loving the closeness that I'd think many men would like. I've never had to ask, he heads "south" early and often.

[rcoreyus]

I like doing oral on my wife. She won't reciprocate, but since she and I enjoy it, I keep doing it. A bit unfair, but what can you do?

[SoConfused217]

Actually ixx, he wasn't really harsh about it. He just explained to me that the idea of doing it to any girl is disgusting. And when he saw me start to cry, he got upset and started shaking because he thought I was going to leave him. I'm not going to leave him for that. He a really good, sweet guy and I love him a lot. Just thought I would clear that up for you.

[ixx]

Actually ixx, he wasn't really harsh about it. He just explained to me that the idea of doing it to any girl is disgusting. And when he saw me start to cry, he got upset and started shaking because he thought I was going to leave him. I'm not going to leave him for that. He a really good, sweet guy and I love him a lot. Just thought I would clear that up for you.

Hi SC,

I'm glad to hear that he was honest and gentle about his views and that you are happy. That's good. It could be that over time that he will change his feelings about oral if you let him try it. My boyfriend, who loves and is great at it said that he gagged the first time he did it. Everyone's scents/tastes are so individual also.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think the older a guy gets, the more comfortable he gets with the idea (and act) of performing oral on a woman. Young guys ( I am assuming and hoping your guy is young to be behaving this way) tend to be less sexually mature, you'd think they haven't gotten over playground 'girls have cooties' gross out factor by the way they act about it.

When I dated guys my own age in high school and right out of it, they NEVER went down on me... when I dated older guys - they always did. So in my experience its been a maturity thing, an aqquired desire that happens when growing an appreciation for the female body besides just nice boobs. Some older men are like this too though, so maybe they just never progressed, who knows.

Some men, do it not even liking the taste - but do it for the act, to watch their lady writhe in pleasure , to hear her moan and scream and to have an up close view of their favorite location etc...

Some men, do it LOVING the taste and all the visual and auditory action I just mentioned.

Some men, do it just so that they can get it reciprocated and they really don't give a ratts derrier about giving their women pleasure.

But the bottom line is most men in relationships, do it, for whatever reason, they do.

If he likes porn, if you guys watch it together, pick ones that have a lot of female getting oral scenes in it, maybe it will spark an interest in the act for him - who knows. But if you love him, you have to respect his bounderies , especially if he willing to pleasure you in alternative ways. No different than we'd expect a husband to respect his wife's bounderies when it comes to the exact same thing. He's a person first, your boyfriend 2nd and his feelings should matter, as should yours.

Talk to him about some of the things that make him worry about it, if its hygene explain you will wash it just prior, if its taste, use a flavored lube, if its hair in the mouth, offer to shave, if its embarassment of not doing it right, tell him he can't do it wrong If its the look, offer to keep the lights off - all those things just to get him comfy with the act and later on it probably wouldnt take so much masking for him to enjoy it.


I was hesitant to let my boyfriend go down on me for a long time, every time he headed south I'd pull him back up. I was worried he wouldn't like it. Then I finally let him do it and when he kept doing it again and again on more and more occasions I realized he must like it a little or he would not do so much. But still I wasn't sure if he genuinly enjoyed the act with me, or just wanted to please me... UNTIL one time after fingering me he licked his fingers. In that moment... I knew he liked it and it made me so happy , now I will yank him on down south instead of pushing him away lol

[SoConfused217]

I think the older a guy gets, the more comfortable he gets with the idea (and act) of performing oral on a woman. Young guys ( I am assuming and hoping your guy is young to be behaving this way) tend to be less sexually mature, you'd think they haven't gotten over playground 'girls have cooties' gross out factor by the way they act about it.

When I dated guys my own age in high school and right out of it, they NEVER went down on me... when I dated older guys - they always did. So in my experience its been a maturity thing, an aqquired desire that happens when growing an appreciation for the female body besides just nice boobs. Some older men are like this too though, so maybe they just never progressed, who knows.

Some men, do it not even liking the taste - but do it for the act, to watch their lady writhe in pleasure , to hear her moan and scream and to have an up close view of their favorite location etc...

Some men, do it LOVING the taste and all the visual and auditory action I just mentioned.

Some men, do it just so that they can get it reciprocated and they really don't give a ratts derrier about giving their women pleasure.

But the bottom line is most men in relationships, do it, for whatever reason, they do.

If he likes porn, if you guys watch it together, pick ones that have a lot of female getting oral scenes in it, maybe it will spark an interest in the act for him - who knows. But if you love him, you have to respect his bounderies , especially if he willing to pleasure you in alternative ways. No different than we'd expect a husband to respect his wife's bounderies when it comes to the exact same thing. He's a person first, your boyfriend 2nd and his feelings should matter, as should yours.

Talk to him about some of the things that make him worry about it, if its hygene explain you will wash it just prior, if its taste, use a flavored lube, if its hair in the mouth, offer to shave, if its embarassment of not doing it right, tell him he can't do it wrong If its the look, offer to keep the lights off - all those things just to get him comfy with the act and later on it probably wouldnt take so much masking for him to enjoy it.


I was hesitant to let my boyfriend go down on me for a long time, every time he headed south I'd pull him back up. I was worried he wouldn't like it. Then I finally let him do it and when he kept doing it again and again on more and more occasions I realized he must like it a little or he would not do so much. But still I wasn't sure if he genuinly enjoyed the act with me, or just wanted to please me... UNTIL one time after fingering me he licked his fingers. In that moment... I knew he liked it and it made me so happy , now I will yank him on down south instead of pushing him away lol

We're both 17, so it could be the immaturity everyone is talking about. We were in a movie theater the first time he rejected me, and he said I smelled weird down there after fingering me. The second time was in my car after prom and there, he just said that he didn't like the idea of it. So I don't know. I've felt since he told me that in the car, that he wasn't telling me the whole truth, but he refuses to say anything else.

Another thing that's been happening for a while is that most of the time, he refuses to do phone sex when I want to do it. But when he wants to do it, I always participate. When he doesn't want to, he always comes up with excuses like "my parents are nearby" or "everyone's still awake" or "i have a headache" or "it hurts." We used to do phone sex like 3-4 times a week. Now it's like 1-2 times a week. It just makes me feel like he's losing interest in me sexually, that I'm not as attractive as I used to be, or that he's just selfish.

[caterpillar79]

You should explore how to pleasure yourself ON YOUR OWN. Don't depend on him. I don't know how to pleasure myself sexually, i admit to that fact, but I am old enough to know how to deal with it. (For me, all it takes is a bar of Dark chocolate, and a great book to read!)

But since you are in the age where hormones are wild, you have to learn to get off on your own. Or else, you will end up sleeping with different guys just to get off. Also, get vaccinated for hpv, go to your family doctor and ask to get you an appointment with an OB-GYN. You are sexually active now, so better be responsible with your reproductive well-being.