[Livelaughlove]

OK....tried a lot of stuff today.

The pillows help...A LOT. She didnt' get there *yet* in this fashion, but we're working on it.

She wants to forego getting off completely until we can do it in that position.... Basically retraining herself. She's a trooper. I feel bad but she insists...and when i think about it, it probably isn't a bad idea.

Thanks guys for all the input. I will keep you posted on our progress.

I think its a bad idea for you to hold off her orgasming until she does it in missionary. She is just making excuses and is trying to stop you from worrying about her orgasming. Your making it into too much of a big deal!

You guys can't make orgasm the goal for her, orelse she will get performance anxiety and will be to worried on when and how she will orgasm and if her mind is running then it wont happen.

To Get good at sex you have to know how your partner thinks. The problem with this is that when a person tries to understand there partner they typically,deal with other people the way that they want to be dealt with.

There is a fundamental difference between men and women! It is the order or sequence of events that leads to a certain outcome. For example, a man sees hot women, gets turned on in maybe less the 3 seconds.On the other hand, women are a bit more complex. Even if a woman sees a handsome man, she will RARELY get sexually turned on. The first thing that women experience when they SEE an attractive man is usually more of a curiosity or intrigue... a wanting to know more.

Hope this helps

Live laugh and love

[Guest]

I think its a bad idea for you to hold off her orgasming until she does it in missionary. She is just making excuses and is trying to stop you from worrying about her orgasming. Your making it into too much of a big deal!

You guys can't make orgasm the goal for her, orelse she will get performance anxiety and will be to worried on when and how she will orgasm and if her mind is running then it wont happen.
Live laugh and love

This was her idea, not mine. I'm going with it...she knows her body best and its something she wants. We've accomplished a lot sexually and we are very comfortable with trying new things without pressure. If it happens, it happens.

Her having an orgasm is not the difficulty. We can do it other ways. *She* specifically wants to be able to do it in the missionary position consistently.

Either way, we had a breakthrough last night. It wasn't missionary, but close enough. The good thing is that it worked and she was pretty happy.

Gotta crawl before you can walk.

L3 - thanks for the insight, kind sir. I checked out that stuff you suggested. We'll give it a whirl soon.

[nightqueen]

This was her idea, not mine. I'm going with it...she knows her body best and its something she wants. We've accomplished a lot sexually and we are very comfortable with trying new things without pressure. If it happens, it happens.

Her having an orgasm is not the difficulty. We can do it other ways. *She* specifically wants to be able to do it in the missionary position consistently.

Either way, we had a breakthrough last night. It wasn't missionary, but close enough. The good thing is that it worked and she was pretty happy.

Gotta crawl before you can walk.

L3 - thanks for the insight, kind sir. I checked out that stuff you suggested. We'll give it a whirl soon.

Some women never can in missionary. Why is she sooooo determined? Just wondering.

[Livelaughlove]

Some women never can in missionary. Why is she sooooo determined? Just wondering.

All mentally healthy women can orgasm in ANY position. It is the mans job to lead her into one!

Live laugh and love

[nightqueen]

All mentally healthy women can orgasm in ANY position. It is the mans job to lead her into one!

Live laugh and love

Sorry, not necessarily true. I think women reading this might think there's something wrong with them if they can't, when the truth is, lots of women can't during sex. Many, many women need more direct stimulation then they receive just during sex. Nothing wrong with that.

[Livelaughlove]

Sorry, not necessarily true. I think women reading this might think there's something wrong with them if they can't, when the truth is, lots of women can't during sex. Many, many women need more direct stimulation then they receive just during sex. Nothing wrong with that.

I do apologize for not being as clear as I should... I dont have much time to respond to threads so I guess its my fault and should wait.

What I meant is that unless a women has a mental illness all women can orgasm.

The problem with most sexual relationships is the lack of understand of the capability of the human mind. After dozens of time with sex a women just believes that she can't orgasm. Which is an understandable conclusion.

BUT ITS NOT TRUE.

The word CANT itself is very self defeating and will limit yourself. Instead how about "I struggle with"

Therefore you move from a position of pain and weakness to one of power and choice.

Hope this helps
Live laugh and love

[Livelaughlove]

btw. Its not the womens fault if she struggles with orgasming. Its the partners.

I wish I had the time to go into detail.

Maybe others can shine some light.

Live laugh and love

[Guest]

btw. Its not the womens fault if she struggles with orgasming. Its the partners.

Live laugh and love

Agreed. But only if she is able to bring herself to orgasm as well.

Kinda tough to communicate to a partner what you like if you don't know yourself.

[OGFL]

Agreed. But only if she is able to bring herself to orgasm as well.

Kinda tough to communicate to a partner what you like if you don't know yourself.

or arent willing to experiment

[WildChild]

Unfortunately many women have been in situations that makes this all seem very unsafe, usually emotionally. If she has dealt with men (or a man) who belittled her needs, didn't listen, put her down - it can be difficult to develop the trust needed to comminicate about sex.