[shannon_1091]

Well...

Hi. =) I'm a new member. I saw this and had to reply...

I've been in a committed relationship for two years, and I really enjoy giving oral sex to my boyfriend.
At first I could NOT deep throat... My boyfriend's penis would make me gag & it'd just hit the back of my throat. But as we started trying new things, we found that if he lays flat on the bed, and I kneel up by his head, (back to him) -- it works much more easily! It's a better angle; the penis doesnt hit the uvula as hard.
And for all of those who are so against it, I say try it. Swallowing and deep throating for your s/o shouldn't be so repulsive or "dirty" if he reciprocates. Why not make it a little better for your guy?

[bbhollywood]

oral

i think the guy might think it is a turn on if you do swallow that is really the only reason, i do not swallow it makes me gag. i have always spit out my husband. so no you are not doing oral sex wrong. why is he know just bringing this up? has he been watching alot of porn latley or what really brought this on?

[Zowie]

Oral Sex Reply

I will tell you right off the bat, I swallow from time to time. I also get the gag reflex so therefore I don't do it often. My reason for speaking out is that it's not the point rather you do or don't, but the husbands attitude with your decision. I enjoy oral sex and I can just imagine how much he enjoys it. Anyway I'm getting away from my point. My point is my husband says if you want to swallow that is totally up to me. That is MY decision! That tells me in volumes that he loves me and wants me to be happy.
Just something to think about!

[metboogie]

As a man I must say this:

1 - Not all women swallow - your husband is either full or sh*t or incredibly lucky to have had every other woman he was with swallow.

2 - My philosophy on BJ's is this - if you go down and me and take me to the brink of orgasm, to than want vaginal sex - the sex won't be very good because I won't last long.

3 - Most men last much longer on the 2nd orgasm, so I always prefer if a woman is going to give me oral before sex than she should finish.

4 - If she does finish, I definitely prefer that she let me finish in her mouth (she doesn't have to swallow, I don't get offended if she goes to the bathroom and rinses her mouth) because it feels 1000 times better...

5 - I was the 1st person my wife gave a BJ to, so I HAD to give her some direction (she didn't realize teeth hurt the penis). But now she is great at it...and when she goes down on me it is a 50/50 chance that she will finish. The suspense is part of the turn on - and when she doesn't finish orally she just wants to jump on me and tear me apart...

My honest advice is this - if you are comfortable finishing but not swallowing, do that. If you just can't take the ejaculation in your mouth (again, understandable) than maybe bring a toy into the mix. Either way, only do what YOU are comfortable with.

[C]

When we were first married if I would have been made to give my husband a BJ as a sexual act of gratification I would not have done this. I would have divorced him first. That is sad to say but true. That was my mindset at that time in life. If I had been pushed into giving him oral when I was first married, I would not have done this..... I was not sexually ready..I only saw his penis for the first time on my honeymoon night and hardly looked then...I had to wait until I had matured as a woman to release a part of me that could allow this sexual act to take place. I think this just may be the feelings of many women. What disgusted me then, sexually arouses me now.

If you would have told me during the first years of my marriage when I was wearing a condom to suck him because I didn't want any of that cum on or in my mouth what I would be doing now, I wouldn't have believed it. Yet I now go down on my sleeping husband in the middle of the night and lay and suck him and pleasure him until he wakes up. This sexual act of swallowing is so sensual that it must be done only in the deepest passion AND only if a woman want to do it. To attempt this act without the warmth and erotic behavior of two animals in heat, would be a chore......Sex should not be this....

For a woman to give oral sex and swallow she must be in sexual hunger to enjoy it.. That hot sensual heat has to be there.. The passion must be so hot that she can't wait until she puts this love object which is her pacifier into her mouth to suck him. He must be her staff of life that is feeding her and she must relish each moment of it or else she should not be doing it.....It cannot be forced.....it is too erotic and wonderful of an act of love for a woman.......If she does not want to swallow then spit it out. Have a cup handy or a kleenex......If he does not want her to do this and insists that she swallow, then tell him very nicely and plainly to go blow himself..........

Sex gets better and better as you age ...but it takes us women time to arrive at this special place where we are going....don't rush it.....it will come....and if the part of it never comes that we do not want to swallow, so what....He should be happy....We are sucking him......and for a man, that is just about as good as it gets........

[heatherh]

That is nice! In my case my wife would expect be to lick her but would not suck me, is that mutual? I feel that is not right

[Mandee]

Oral Sex

I have read most of the posts on this thread and I agree with some and disagree with some as well. Some women I guess have no problem swallowing. What about when the man is down on you and you orgasm and he keeps going? Ok, ok, I know it may not be the same as far as taste and texture goes, but it's kind of the same concept, no?

I have had my husband of almost 4 years come in my mouth maybe twice, and he wasn't the one to ask for it- he was about to pull out to orgasm and I had him do it in my mouth for the experience. Once I swallowed and it wasn't that bad but I don't make it a habit.

My husband was way more experienced than me; he was my first. So, I thought I had to do all these things in bed (like what I have seen on porno mags, etc.) to please him. Turns out that wasn't true after talking to him about it. It took us a while after being married to start having oral sex but now we are both comfortable doing it. I do it because I know it gets him off and, in turn, I am pleased.

For the person who started this thread, all I can say is that you need to have a talk with your husband about this subject. You shouldn't have to be forced to do something you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to do, especially if he is making you feel like **** for it by mentioning exes, which I think is total ****! My husband did that once with me; I think it was about not having an orgasm one night and I guess he thought it was his fault so he said no other girl has ever had a problem before with him. I made him to know that I don't need him to be telling me about his past experiences because if I had any, he wouldn't like to hear about them and that not all the time a woman will always have an orgasm for many different reasons.

You have to know the kind of relationship you have with your hubby of 10 years and know how to approach him to have the conversation. If you are willing to try, let him drink pineapple juice like for a few days or so before sex so it won't taste as bad (as I've heard). But the bottom line is to discuss the issue. You never know, maybe you'll like it. I've never liked certain positions but once I tried them with my hubby, I've come to love them

[Bri]

Woe

The attitude of some of the posters is what I find incredible.
The belief that they have to please 'Master' because if they
don't please 'Master' he will sell them south.

There isn't a sense of mutuality.

Okay, so this isn't to pass judgement on you in any way because usually I think you give great advice and its quite fun to read because of how well written it is. I think you are taking it a little too far this time though.
I do swallow, and I actually enjoy it. For many women out there who can't or won't, they shouldn't feel like they have to, and they should never feel like they are doing something wrong, it is a personal choice and everyone is different. I agree that you should never do something you truly don't want to for a man, and I don't think any man should have the right to tell you to or expect you do something.
For people who want to, or like to, you can't just say that they are falling prey to gender roles and ridiculous stereotypes. I have only done this for one person in my entire life and he never pressured me to. I do it because I enjoy making him happy, and he does the same for me. Your comparison to making a sculpture isn't as far off as you would like to believe, you created that and he enjoyed it, then you got pleasure from his enjoyment. I am sorry if I am oversimplifying or misunderstood your point with that, but that is how I understood it.
That is how oral sex, or any give and take in a relationship is for me. I wouldn't do it if I didn't like to, and I wouldn't feel bad about that. However, because I don't mind it and I like to make him happy, I do enjoy it.
Making him happy isn't about him "keeping" me, it is about caring about someone and enjoying doing what you can for him, because you know he always does the same for you. I don't think you are being unbiased enough for this kind of question, because the question was on oral sex, and while I can see its pertinence to gender issues, I don't think it is fair to completely turn it into that. I am all for woman's rights, but there is such a thing as cutting off the nose to spite the face, sorry if I got the expression wrong. You are actually hurting relationships with this kind of advice, If people are truly equal, and woman are not "slaves" as you put it, then they should have the equal opportunity to please each other, and acts such as this, done of free will and to give pleasure to someone you love, should not be seen as degrading in any way.

[Just-a-regular-guy]

A voice of reason!!!

Plain and simple..... if your man brings you to climax in his mouth... you should be willing to do the same.... these are just body fluids between people who love one another.....I've been doing this for my wife for 22 years.... it has only been in the last 2 months that she has figured out that I would like to feel the same thing she feels - finishing!!

I hope to be a happy camper in the coming months.... not that I DESERVE it, but that it's not that big of a deal not to reciprocate really REALLY good feelings with the one you love....

[maggieanne]

Honestly it sounds like your husband is probably going through a normal part of marriage. Maybe he's been fantasizing and/or watching porn. Men easily get this fixated idea in their minds that it'll be the most pleasurable and erotic if their partner does it just like they saw in a porno. A lot of men think you're supposed take in all of him, when really it's impossible to fit more than about two or three inches of him. Anyway...try swallowing, just once. You'll never know until you try it. And don't beat yourself up. If this is something that has taken him ten years to tell you, oh well. You can only move on from here. It's probably taken him a lot of courage to tell you he wants it differently. Most importantly, don't take it personally! He needs to know he can tell you what he wants and needs, and vice versa.