[danceintx]

Oh, HD. I sure do hope you wouldn't throw away a great thing over something as trivial as that. I know it doesn't seem trivial to you, that it hurts you, but looking at the big picture, this man is wonderful to you, and looking at porn really isn't THAT bad. I mean it could be so much worse. I feel about porn alot the way you do, but I don't think I would throw away a fantastic relationship over it. These strong feelings may have to do with the past. Mabye you should try to work through these past issues so you can have some peace about it. It sounds like he isn't an addict or anything, just occasional porn use. And about the PMS, I always suggest Black Cohosh, it's all natural and it works.

[Texinator]

But deep in my heart I still feel like I am not pretty enough, that my stretch marks are too ugly... etc.

Might not work for everybody, but something I've done in the past when I was with someone and they had some part of their body about which they really worried was to caress and kiss the part in question. Then they realized that if I was willing to get that up close and personal with something they considered a flaw then they had less reason to stress about their imperfections.

Maybe that's an exercise you'd like to try with your boyfriend.

[WildChild]

. And about the PMS, I always suggest Black Cohosh, it's all natural and it works.

It's nasty tasting though. If you get Susun Weed's book (You knew I'd have to get a book into this thread somewhere) The Childbearing Year, I think you'll find she has some suggestions to make it more palatable. Or you can chek out her web site.

Tex , that's a wonderful and tender idea. I hope she gives it a try.

[LanaBear]

Might not work for everybody, but something I've done in the past when I was with someone and they had some part of their body about which they really worried was to caress and kiss the part in question.

Hubby does this and it honestly makes me cringe, not every time, but I cannot help but think of them when he does it. I know he doesn't care about my stretch marks, my belly grew to give us our two greatest accomplishments. But it is HARD!!!

[Texinator]

Ain't nothing more than some reddish streaks on your skin.

[Texinator]

Ain't nothing more than some reddish streaks on your skin.

I know someone out there is thinking 'Oh what the heck does he know?!'

[LanaBear]

I know someone out there is thinking 'Oh what the heck does he know?!'

lol - I did make the ugh face when I read it, but not necessarily because I don't think you know what you are talking about.

It's the only face I know when talking stretch marks.

[mr.mansview]

i've heard friends discuss things they don't like about a woman's body..don't recall anyone mentioning stretch marks..my first gf had huge breasts..it was prolly the 8th or 9th time before i noticed the stretch marks..i think it is a non issue for 95% of men

[Texinator]

i think it is a non issue for 95% of men

Exactly.

The 5% that do care probably also only want a woman with big breasts, small butt, etcetera, anyway.

[Guest]

Porn is not real. The women are merely objects in a fantasy world.

I don't say that to be demeaning but to point out that the appeal is purely visual. That's why the women are manufactured also in the sense that they have implants and lots of other plastic surgery, and the images and films are touched up with editing software to make the changes that not even the plastic surgeons can make.

Many men like to look at porn for the visual stimulation and especially variety. It usually has nothing to do with how they feel about their girlfriends or wives. It is not that your boyfriend settled for you and thinks 'I guess she's the best I can do' but secretly wishes he could be with a porn star. You are far more for him than just a two dimensional image.

A porn star can't have stretch marks because her visual appeal is all she has. No guy watches porn and gets aroused thinking about her personality, her intelligence, or what kind of girlfriend or wife she might be. On the other hand, the appeal of a real woman in a real relationship goes far beyond the visual. That's where things like personality, intelligence, and the dynamic of the relationship matter.

Tex you raise a good point - but in the grand scheme of things, all this still doesn't make it right....viewing porn when your significant other has expressed distaste.