[manspoint]

i wish my hubby would do foreplay more also. i am in the same boat as you. he doesnt touch rub caress and when he does it for a second or 2. so when you find out how to get him to romance you a bit let me know imhere and still puzzled about it

I cannot understand these men. Sorry, but I can't get enough foreplay...well I get plenty, but it is the most intimate, hot, sensual, sexual play time and never lasts long enough (half a day would be getting close).

Are these men "wham-bam-thank-you-mam" -ers? I mean does intercourse take 2 minutes, 5 mins or 30 mins. Are they sensual at this at all?

Maybe discuss/ask them about their fantasies. They must have something different they want to try. Start by opening with one of your fantasies but keep it not too kinky at first and see his reaction, then play it by ear how far you go. Then you could offer to help with an appropriate fantasy.

I'm probably thinking that he's not a talker though. Maybe some teasing on your part. Sexy lingerie, not letting him touch. Show him how you like to be touched. Get him on his knees begging to touch you.

If that doesn't do the trick, sorry.

[WildChild]

Yep. Wham, bam, thank you mam'. About sums up quite a few men. It may not be quite that fast but it's more like efficiency sex, than loving. Even if she cums, it can leave the woman feeling more like an extended masterbation tool than loved or cared about. The occasional quickie is fun, a steady diet - Not.

Suppose the reasons vary from man to man but self centeredness and lack of emotional connection seem to be big factors.

[manspoint]

This situation is so sad.
My ex-wife was like that. No interest at all...at least with me.

Can I ask an opinion while I'm on the subject? Sorry to hijack thread.

Never mind, I will start a new thread. It was getting a bit long.

Have you ever noticed that 'bedroom' and 'boredom' have the same letters?
I not know what else to suggest. Maybe a hard slap in the face to wake him up.
Or have an affair and make him jealous/missing out - NO don't do that!
I am at a loss as I was in my own situation and it got too much to handle with resentment and uncertainty.
It has to come to some resolution though.

[sarahlee20]

Hmmm ya I think i will just keep reminding him. I sent him a few loving txts on his cell this . When he woke up for work and got them and i think he smiled and probably laughed i'm sure. If i tell it's what i want he'll give it to me. I'll just tell him a little longer. Oh I also do have the sexy bra and panties. HE actually bought me some last xmas. They get used quite a bit. The only reason we haven't at all recently is because i've been on my fertail days abut after that he's mine. :-) This Vday I'll be wearing some silk crochless undies with cupid on them. That outta work

[manspoint]

Hmmm ya I think i will just keep reminding him. I sent him a few loving txts on his cell this . When he woke up for work and got them and i think he smiled and probably laughed i'm sure. If i tell it's what i want he'll give it to me. I'll just tell him a little longer. Oh I also do have the sexy bra and panties. HE actually bought me some last xmas. They get used quite a bit. The only reason we haven't at all recently is because i've been on my fertail days abut after that he's mine. :-) This Vday I'll be wearing some silk crochless undies with cupid on them. That outta work

That'd work for me

If he response to your requests then just keep requesting. The sexy txts are gr8. Keeps men thinking abt it all day. Sounds like persistence will pay off for you and your SO. Have a wonderful V Day!

[Millania]

my husband usually wants to go "right for it" hardly any foreplay but thankfully during lovemaking when we switch position he will go down or use his fingers to mix up the session abit and I love when he does that, totally hot
definitley better than not getting "any" type of foreplay action, I gues in my case its "duringplay" action that I get
thats good Saralee that you are reminding him..let him know you really love it when he does..."this or that" I guarantee you he will do anything to please you
I have learned to love my husbands way of lovemaking so I dont really mind that the foreplay is not until "during sex"
good luck and have fun

[hellokittylover]

my bf >=[

That is one of the problems with my bf.
He is not a virgin so he is just used to just shoving it in there I guess...
I'm still a virgin and we were trying to do it but it hurt so bad because I wasn't even wet down there when he tried. It hurt too much so he stopped and never finished. He did like 5 mins of foreplay and then just tried I suggested that he give me some 'passion' with it so it would be less painful but then he said that he's confused and probably still in love with his recent ex [although we've been dating off and on for the longest] and he made me cry because it just feels so bad and it makes me never want to try and have sex with him again. Ugh I just don't know what to do with him anymore he treats me like sometimes. =[
I guess he was able to give his ex the passion he's unable to give me.

[p3375]

I think the problem is shared by a lot of men. They seem to be 'goal oriented' - want to get the job done quick.

That may make sense in an evolutionary standpoint - deliver the sperm quickly so your genes are passed on instead of those of another man, or before the tiger eats you up.

Brains hard-wired that way do need constant reminders that they need to take time and enjoy the process.
P

[stressed]

I wish we could stop with the whole "evolution" excuse. Not all men are like that, it varies with each person. There are men out there who want to please their woman, who put her needs first, who cannot understand that men can be so selfish. To just say "it's genes that make them avoid foreplay" is just wrong and unfair towards those men.

[Guest]

i think that part of the problem is that men do get caught up in the just get it done thing. i remember reading somewhere that if men masturbate too often, that in their minds it changes sex from an intimate event, to almost like an obsessive need to just come, sans any romance or intimacy, and it is almost too hard (no pun intended) to get the intimacy part back.