[Hoochie Coochie Man]

Really? Well I have have been justly tutored by the expert. So noted. I will have to tell her we are dropping that one.

[WildChild]

What an utter load of ________ (fill in the blank with a negative word)

ummm, well, I've been dealing with a 45+ man who is exactly where she was talking about. It's absolutely over now, as far as any sexual interaction goes, he is quite capable of being an wonderful lover but once he had my affections secure all he was interested in were BJs or HJs with once a month "porn sex" and gradually that dwindled to nothing. He masterbates frequently enough to have literally made his penis too sore for sex.
His explainations vary from, this is the way he likes it to, to, I'm just screwed up."

It's a great way to avoid intimacy.

[manspoint]

WC....I sympathise with you and your situation but in response to the quote I think if honest communication was held you would find that his masturbation was a symptom of a lack of intimacy, not the lack of intimacy being due to over masturbating.

You can also read how the more a man ejaculates the more testosterone is produced and hence libido increased. Which is in direct contrast to the theory that I poo-pooed.

I am leaning more and more towards the theory of men - and women - just getting lazy. Pleasing the woman the way she wants is too much effort so I'll just sit here and wank.
It's a sad situation. And the inclusion of women - yeah, I have been on the receiving end myself and it ended my 17 year marriage.

[WildChild]

When we met he was loving and caring and very tender. Literally over night that changed. It wasn't anything I did, it was something that emotionally put him back into an old drama. I kept thinking that with love, time and patience, he would work through it. But it's been a year and a half and he just pulled back more and more and the mantra for sometime now has been, "I don't do relationships. I'm too screwed up" It is a self fullfilling prophecy. We are and will remain, close friends, but I am simply unable to handle once a month porn sex as my "sex life". I have a high drive and love being intimate and close.

[manspoint]

When we met he was loving and caring and very tender. Literally over night that changed. It wasn't anything I did, it was something that emotionally put him back into an old drama. I kept thinking that with love, time and patience, he would work through it. But it's been a year and a half and he just pulled back more and more and the mantra for sometime now has been, "I don't do relationships. I'm too screwed up" It is a self fullfilling prophecy. We are and will remain, close friends, but I am simply unable to handle once a month porn sex as my "sex life". I have a high drive and love being intimate and close.

And you will find that intimacy and closeness as long as you allow yourself to be exposed again.
There are good men out there. Usually the ones that have learnt from experience as you have.
xxx

[WildChild]

We will see, I had thought this was my last ditch try at opening up. I've had a somewhat rough life as it is and this has been a very difficult 18+ months. But I have a problem with being an unfailing optimist, so I'll probably try again.

[Explorer44]

Moans and groans work wonders. Make lots of noise while he is doing what YOU want.

MP, I can certainly pull that off! (no pun intend-well yeah it was)

My ex however used to tease me publicly and privately about being so responsive. So I have become more withdrawn in that area, owing to lack of trust......

But, I would think that in a normal relationship a person would WANT to hear the sounds of arousal slipping ardently from the lips of their lover.....

[Explorer44]

We will see, I had thought this was my last ditch try at opening up. I've had a somewhat rough life as it is and this has been a very difficult 18+ months. But I have a problem with being an unfailing optimist, so I'll probably try again.

You and I BOTH, WC!!!!!!!

But to the OP, how did he respond to the lingerie? Hopefully he treated you like the Valentine you are!