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Guest
This thread jarred my memory and reminds me of when I was sitting in a fast food place years ago. I have very good hearing plus many people just don't seem to realise or care they can be heard by other people. The following is what I overheard a woman about 25 years old tell a guy about the same age.Ok, so my bf and I were discussing this the other night, because it is a story from my past. We were wondering what exactly this was considered and mabye you guys have had a similar experience. I had an ex once who would penetrate me while asleep, often. I am a very heavy sleeper, but not THAT heavy. I also never had this problem previous or prior. It would bother me and I would ask him about it, and after several times of this happening, would argue about it. At one point I was pretty ****ed about it continuing to happen. Why do you think this guy liked to penetrate me while I was asleep or unconcious?
Warning to readers: the following is graphic. Read on if you are not easily offended.
She was talking about "last night" and told the guy sitting across from her that her bf came home late. She said she was going to pretend to be asleep so as to get some good rest for the very busy day at work. She says in a low voice "I was laying there pretending to be asleep when suddenly UGGGHHHHHGGHHHHHGGGHHHG, UGGGGGGGGHHHHHGGHHHHG" (she made the UGGH sounds in the eating place quite loudly). Her friend sitting across from her immediately shushes her to get her to stop making that sound so loud. She then says in a low voice "He's so long". Her friend then changed the subject, drats.Comment
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I think its totally innappropriate, without prior consent or implied consent that he would have sex with you in your sleep. Thats a pretty big violation of trust. It could be that he woke up arroused, didn't feel like masturbating, didn't feel like having self control, didn't think that if he woke you that you'd want sex... and just decided to be selfish and do it anyway.
That to me, is best case scenerio (bad as it is), worst case is that he may have rape fantasies, necrophelia fantasies, sex with someone in a coma fantasies, I have no Idea... but might get off on the idea of having sex with an unconscious woman. Don't get me wrong fantasies are fantasies and I'm not passing judgement on fantasies I find disturbing -- I am just saying if he does have those types of fantasies the disturbing part is him crossing a line to act on them. That is what would be scary.
Its good to set bounderies or the lack of them while both parties are wide awake and can decide what they want for themselves, and then trust each other to respect them. Me and my boyfriend have jokingly talked about this in the past and even though we were kidding around -- we made it clear that neither of us would mind waking up to the other touching/playing with the other and in fact think it would be -- AWESOME lol, to wake up that way
But without that being established, someone taking advantage of the others inability to consent shows a great like of respect.Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.Comment
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I love to be woken up to being fondeled, kissed, played with. But waking up to a penis in me was a totally different feeling. Like I had no control. At first when I would ask about it he just said he thought I was awake and I made it clear to please make sure I'm awake next time. After about the tenth or fifteenth time I told him if I woke up to that again I would kick him in the crotch. And his only reply kept being he thought I was awake. My bf said he thought it was probably some fetish. I have always wondered about it, so I thought you were the perfect group to ask : )“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.†- William Arthur WardComment
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i have had that happen to me alot and the next morning i would be very wet i would ask my hubsand did he steal he would tell me no so after i keep asking him then he would tell me that yes he stole the reason he would do it is because i would not give him some when he ask for sex i was fine with it until i caught on to him stealing at nigth and i would wake up and stop him so now my body is immune to him stealing and now i wake up when he tries to stealComment
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If you have told him not to do this and he does anyway, that is really serious, some would quite reasonably call it rape. Why are you still with this person?
I love to be woken up to being fondeled, kissed, played with. But waking up to a penis in me was a totally different feeling. Like I had no control. At first when I would ask about it he just said he thought I was awake and I made it clear to please make sure I'm awake next time. After about the tenth or fifteenth time I told him if I woke up to that again I would kick him in the crotch. And his only reply kept being he thought I was awake. My bf said he thought it was probably some fetish. I have always wondered about it, so I thought you were the perfect group to ask : )Comment
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