[beachgirl]

well..I could go more into his possible reasons, objections, some scriptural gray areas, etc. but it would all be more conjecture on my part towards his feelings because of what I researched, believed and thought also. Again in my husband's defense (this is funny, but it has really, really helped me to look at it from HIS point of view instead of just from my feelings).
remember that the things that I'm saying now will be coming from a spiritual point of view, and really..without the spirit to help you to understand, it's hard for me to make you understand. But I've been in the position before where I wasn't sure if something was right or wrong, as I saw a principle that led me to think that it would be wrong, but I WANTED it to be ok. If I went ahead and went by my feelings at the time, it pricked and pricked and pricked at my conscience making me always uneasy, and greatly hindering my prayer. Have you ever tried to talk to someone knowing that you may have wronged them and you know that they know it? It's something like that. Only worse. When you finally come to the point that it isn't worth the conscience to be constantly battling you and you come to a point that you say you just won't do it again, there is a GREAT load lifted and relief. That is what my husband went through. I don't know that he will want to risk going through that again, and as I think on it, I don't think I want him going through it again.
I can live with this. He'll just have to work a little (a lot) harder now to please me! (he realized that last night
Thank you all again. Making me think this through has greatly helped me, and I do think that I'll be ok with this now. I'm sure that I'll have my times, but, I'm going to be ok.

[kygirl]

I just wanted to say that I am glad you found some peace with it, and that this site helped you out. We're always here about whatever if you need to vent

[LilahX]

Unfortunately I think you're in a 'no win' situation. It appears his religious convictions will always come first and if he feels that will be compromised by giving you oral sex then it's a lost cause.

Knowing how he feels I doubt you'd want to make him feel guilty by pushing the point, or to have him do it knowing he wasn't into it 100%.

It's very sad and I'm a bit surprised you dind't realise these sort of issues would come up knowing what his background was (especially compared to your upbringing).

I doubt there is anytihng you could say to change his mind as I figure he'll always take the words of those in the church over yours.

[needanswer99]

your husband is right

beachgirl!!!!!!!!

believe me your husband is right......

do not go for it..28 yrs u have good sex life....
if u do not feel anymore about natural sex (vaginal )...then this is ok...
give some gap..few day or weeks...

but oral is something disgusting (in my opinion...do not be offended again)

sex is not everything in life..enjoy other happy moments......

[rcoreyus]

Sex isn't everything, but it is important to a lot of people. It provides a wonderful shared experience that can bind a couple closer together.

I am saddened to hear beachgirl's husband's decision. I fear that by avoiding something that most people don't consider a sin, he is exposing his wife to frustration and temptation that could lead to a real sin. Yet I know that they both are acting out of an honest desire to do what is right.

The road to is paved with good intentions.

I think she should discuss this more with her husband and really understand why he believes this is a sin. I am not a Christian (rather the opposite actually) so my advice must seen in that context, and I understand that beachgirl will be unlikely to agree with it.

In any case, I wish her the best and hope this works out well for them both.

[Goodgirl93]

sex is not everything in life..enjoy other happy moments......

While this is true,Who doesn't enjoy the feeling of an orgasm?

[beachgirl]

rc Thank you so much for your concern and thoughts. I DO appreciate them.
In total honesty, this is what I "think" (my feelings really do tend to try to take over and make me feel differently from day to day) but I THINK that I am going to let things go as they are right now. My husband is really trying very hard to make the extra efforts to please me. But, if I find that I just can't get past this desire and these fantasies (that I would much rather be reality), I will talk to him about it seriously again. At that point, I think that I may have a basis for saying that I think since I don't have the grace to handle his decision that it may not have been in the will of God and he needs to reconsider or pray more about it. I should have grace to handle this if it truly is a conviction that he has based on the will of God for his life as it also directly effects me.
So, I give God time to give me that grace as I seek it, and honestly and sincerely make my efforts to find satisfaction without the O.

[alicat]

read song of solomon!

3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my lover among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

or:

1 How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from Mount Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin;
not one of them is alone.

3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.

4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with elegance [a] ;
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.

5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.

6 Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of incense.

7 All beautiful you are, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.

8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
come with me from Lebanon.
Descend from the crest of Amana,
from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon,
from the lions' dens
and the mountain haunts of the leopards.

9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.

10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!

11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue.
The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon.

12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.

13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
with choice fruits,
with henna and nard,

14 nard and saffron,
calamus and cinnamon,
with every kind of incense tree,
with myrrh and aloes
and all the finest spices.

15 You are [b] a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water
streaming down from Lebanon.

Beloved
16 Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden,
that its fragrance may spread abroad.
Let my lover come into his garden
and taste its choice fruits.

keep reading, there is more! this is a wonderfully erotic book of the Bible!

Now, if the Bible is inspired by God and is infallible (which I believe too, btw) and if God allowed such lovely and sensual words to be written in His name then what is wrong with a husband and wife enjoying each other in whatever ways they agree upon?