[WildChild]

You've gotten both women and men's input. Why not tell her you've thinking about it and realize that she has valid concerns. Tell her how much she means to you and see if the two of you can find some ways to bring the sizzle back into your lives.

[Mitchel1870]

A lot of us here would not be here on the forum if we had a willing and caring partner. You are very lucky to have one.

When our spouses ask for something, you should listen. She is setting aside time to talk about and it and telling you what she wants. Think about how you would feel if the tables were turned.

Sometimes we don't know what we have until its gone, and then its too late.

I'd trade 'problems' with you if I could. I have to resort to that becuase there my partner is not willing. I dream about my partner asking to talk about sex and having more.

[Rainbow Rider]

Hi Mark! I like your attitude and openness to the response you received. That alone is the first part of getting to the bottom of this problem with your wife = openness and the ability to communicate. Why not take what others have said here, and ask your wife if this is how she is feeling? I would imagine that this will help open up the communication and get her to tell you what the real deal is. Just try to be understanding about how this situation may make her feel, and make sure you create a plan on how to address it, and then put closure on the issue.

Best of Luck!

[Mark1973]

Thank you, I try not to ask for advice if I am not ready to accept the fact I have a problem and want help resolving it. Masturbating for me has become such a habit over the years that I had never even thought about till she brought it up. It's like an addiction like tobacco or something I would imagine. Hard to quit.

[PJhavinfunagain]

I also agree there is nothing wrong with self pleasure as long as your SO is not available but it would tick me off if my DH was denying me sex because he was "too tired" then found out he made time to masturbate every morning. It is unfair!

[Rainbow Rider]

Masturbation is a normal, healthy activity! I wouldn't be too happy is someone had a problem with me doing it either!

That being said, and the information of which you have shared, it appears that you are not listening to your partners needs. She sounds very dissatisfied with you sexually, especially since you are not giving her what she needs, made up excuse as to why you couldn't, and she has discovered that you are giving it up to your hand instead. She probably feels very hurt and betrayed. Can you think of any way that you could do things differently so that she is happy and so are you and your hand? :-)

[Mark1973]

Masturbation is a normal, healthy activity! I wouldn't be too happy is someone had a problem with me doing it either!

That being said, and the information of which you have shared, it appears that you are not listening to your partners needs. She sounds very dissatisfied with you sexually, especially since you are not giving her what she needs, made up excuse as to why you couldn't, and she has discovered that you are giving it up to your hand instead. She probably feels very hurt and betrayed. Can you think of any way that you could do things differently so that she is happy and so are you and your hand? :-)

This is what I am trying to figure out before our 6 am conversation.

[jns]

Is this a timing issue? It sounds like you are aroused after a nights sleep and she is aroused before she goes to bed. I hope you can have the talk with her after having sex. It will be less venomous.

[Guest]

Is it just about sex? If you are neglecting this area and have no clue, what else are you
"tone deaf" about?

[Mark1973]

Is it just about sex? If you are neglecting this area and have no clue, what else are you
"tone deaf" about?

I hope I am not. But than again I never knew this was an issue. I am here because I want to be a better husband.