[LanaBear]

I hope I am not. But than again I never knew this was an issue. I am here because I want to be a better husband.

That is great to hear! When the two of you talk, listen to what her needs are. As everyone else, I see no problem with masturbation as long as it doesn't interfere with your partners sex drive. I know this may sound crazy, but hubby and I don't really masturbate by ourselves. It works for us because we know if either of us wants something the other is always more than willing to give...

Doesn't work for everybody, but just a thought.

[Hopeless Dork]

I'm glad you are open to change. I think a lot of guys are like you, and rely on masturbation as a stress reliever... its just habit, part of their day, brushing their teeth etc... and thats fine and good when single or if you have some crazy high drive that still leaves you wanting sex after masturbation. But if you are having a hard time keeping up with your wifes sexual desires, killing off your natural desires for her by yourself is going to kill your relationship.

If you didn't masturbate, you'd probably , no matter how tired, find the energy to get a little frisky with your woman later. It would make her feel wanted and needed, desired and special. You handeling your biz on your own, yawning and going to bed... is not the behavior of someone in a relationship that they want to keep, and keep happy.

I am SO glad you are open to advice and are hopefully realizing that the solution to this problem is in your hands (no pun intended).

[Texasred]

Is this a serious question? You masturbate every morning, don't give your wife sex, she gets upset, and you blame it on her job. This is either a BS question or you're clueless. You know as well as I do, if you masturbate every day it's going to kill your sex drive there after. So I have a solution: Stop masturbating every day in the shower! Simple

This pretty well sums up what I was thinking, right from "Is this a serious question?"

Surely you realize that having sex with yourself daily is going to kill your sex drive?
From your wife's point of view, what you're doing is not much different than if you were having an affair with another woman. She's feeling neglected, and you're pleasing yourself only instead of sharing with her.
I don't envy you this next "talk" you two are going to have unless you agree to what she's asking - and stick to it!
Wish you well.
- TR

[Mark1973]

I completely agree and understand. But it is not easy for me to just stop something I have been doing my whole life. All day I have been wanting to masturbate. I was not prepared for this, it caught me by surprise.

[Hopeless Dork]

Change your frame of mind... instead of all day I wanted to masturbate... think.. all day I wanted to experience sexual pleasure... and you will get that from your partner... let the anticipation for THAT build instead of just ' i need to masturbate, ii need to masturbate' you will let it become an obsession it likely isn't. Its a habit... but its not like you are going orgasm cold turkey... you'll still get sexual release... just with the woman that you love rather than alone.

[LanaBear]

Like HD said, it's a habit, it can be broken. It will get easier over time. Just think of the reward of being intimate with your wife, pleasing your wife, getting pleased in return. The pros should out weigh the cons.

[happy ending]

it might sound like an odd question, but which is more pleasant, a solo sex act, or making love to a beautiful woman? i agree that your daily masturbation is a habit you have gotten into, now its time to make another one. good luck enjoying hot sex with your lovely wife.

[Mark1973]

Like HD said, it's a habit, it can be broken. It will get easier over time. Just think of the reward of being intimate with your wife, pleasing your wife, getting pleased in return. The pros should out weigh the cons.

I agree, but it is a tuff task that I am willing to take on. and make no mistake that is what she wants is me to please, and serve her all the time, and that is fine.

[Hopeless Dork]

I agree, but it is a tuff task that I am willing to take on. and make no mistake that is what she wants is me to please, and serve her all the time, and that is fine.

It sounds like she's been pretty patient about you not having sex with her as often as she'd like. Her discovering that you actually have a normal drive but that your keeping it to yourself has her frustrated , very very frustrated.

I don't know why you think she will demand you please her all the time when she's been okay with the crumbs for so long. She just wants more with you... you are physically capable of doing more with her... but have been opting out.

[Rainbow Rider]

Was he talking about 6 am this morning? If so, it's past that in his time zone. Hopefully he'll chime in and give us the lowdown (or maybe he is still busy making it up to his wife? )