[Hopeless Dork]

I just mean I wonder if its instant availability for the entire sexual life of adult males in say, their late 20's is shaping a different type of sexuality for men. One less reliant on 2 person sex , one where very specific visuals have to be obtained in order to get an erection. Where before a man might see a woman flash her breasts and that get his blood pumping... now maybe he doesn't get a tingle in his penis unless its 12 breasts dancing around on a trampoline landing in a pool of jello filled latex swimming pool?

I just think the impact of free and vast access to porn may have more effects on sexuality and the evolution of sexuality than we currently even realize.

It seems people have always been biologically geared to want 2 person sex... but lately you are hearing more and more of people that prefer to fly solo even when presented with the opportunity for 2 person sex.

[stressed]

I appreciate the hormone theory BUT, look at it this way. Let's say a man has two choices today:

- Either have sex with his girlfriend/wife, who knows what she wants and how she wants it, who will "evaluate" his effort, who wants affection, not just sex, he has to "perform good" for her, be in the right mood, setting etc (or so he thinks, because he wants to be the best man on earth after all, if not superman).

OR

- Turn on some porn while he has 10 mins to himself and just relax. Whether sex will happen or not is not particularly a concern afterwards. It's always nice but which one sounds easier?

It wasn't as simple as that in the 60's or the 70's. Naked women weren't shown everywhere every day. Being with a woman was a success. It wasn't common for couples to live together before marriage. But today? There's endless eye-candy for men, they only learn to want more and more.

Honestly, the number of posts of women whose partners show no interest in sex is only rising along with the porn sites all over the internet. Awfully disappointing. I'm glad I wasn't born 50 years later in the era of 3D porn! In 2060 women will have to book times with their partners to have sex and that only to have children.

Depressive.

[Fallen1]

Both HD and Stressed make very good points. I have to say I agree with them 100%.

There was a movie years ago with Sylvester Stallone - I think it was Demolition Man - where no one had actual physical sex anymore but used holographic programs for pleasure?

[sungem77]

I'm told it's "stress relief". Yeah well, lack of sex and affection sure stresses most women out so I don't see any relief there.

I think it's about control. They have the toy. They can play with it when they want and unless you find masterbation preferable or equal to loving sex, you are just SOL. Ha Ha, too bad for you.

Really there is a good dose of that in a lot of this behavior.
For all the years of talk about frigid women, a woman who doesn't enjoy sex can still fake it, but if its a man who doesn't want it - nothing is happening.

IF women step up and start actualizing their sexual potential and ignore all the denigating social/religious BS that lables them negatively for being sexual, we will quickly find out which is the more sexual and sexually stronger gender. This is why emotional connection is so important, it elevates sex beyond the physical and can create a much more deeply satisfying experience for both. But only if both can move past the BS and not many seem to be able to do it.

good point

[stressed]

I've heard that masturbation is a "stress relief" but I've also heard that having sex is both stress relieving and boost ones self confidence. I've specifically heard about a study that found having intercourse (not oral or masturbate) a day before a job interview will help you perform better. Now, as to which of the two one rather have... is up to his/her own decision.

Besides, I believe it's silly to choose masturbation over sex when you live with the person you're in love with and find attractive when you have the choice to have sex whenever you want.

[Texasred]

I just mean I wonder if its instant availability for the entire sexual life of adult males in say, their late 20's is shaping a different type of sexuality for men. One less reliant on 2 person sex , one where very specific visuals have to be obtained in order to get an erection. Where before a man might see a woman flash her breasts and that get his blood pumping... now maybe he doesn't get a tingle in his penis unless its 12 breasts dancing around on a trampoline landing in a pool of jello filled latex swimming pool?

I just think the impact of free and vast access to porn may have more effects on sexuality and the evolution of sexuality than we currently even realize.

It seems people have always been biologically geared to want 2 person sex... but lately you are hearing more and more of people that prefer to fly solo even when presented with the opportunity for 2 person sex.

I fear you are absolutely right; when so much of sex is mental, programming oneself to solo pleasure is not the key to future happiness.

[Texasred]

Judging by the number of men who masturbate multiple times a week and have sex only once per week, I must say that most men seem more concerned about their own satisfaction than mutual satisfaction.

Not saying this to be rude, but I've read so many posts of men masturbating daily and having sex rarely that it disappoints me.

And don't tell me masturbation doesn't affect sex life, please.

I think the word for it is "selfish," although "inconsiderate" and just plain "clueless" (there's that word again that seems to get some Mods so torqued...) are other good descriptions too.
When a guy claims he only wants "sex" once a week, but (insert term for masturbation here) several times a week, it does begin to look like he doesn't value real human relationships as much as he does the one he has with his hand.

I personally have found that I can and want to, make love with my girlfriend every day of the week, and as many times a day (or night) as we have time for. And I'm the oldest one who has posted on this string so far. It's as much a matter of wanting to please her and share pleasure with her as anything else. When we're together, we like touching, hugging and kissing, and that pretty quickly leads to our losing the clothes...

[rcoreyus]

I absolutely agree. I simply can't imagine why anyone would do that - but I know they do (male and female). I consider porn and masturbation to be a very inferior substitute when your lover isn't available.

Besides, I believe it's silly to choose masturbation over sex when you live with the person you're in love with and find attractive when you have the choice to have sex whenever you want.